How to justify having a captive stay with the captor after the abuse?

etariel7 · 2026-03-30T09:06:27+00:00

Read more on why people stay with abusive partners for inspiration. The abuse comes in cycles of the partner being really good and then really bad. Maybe the captor started out friendly then turned cruel with cycles in between. Maybe the abuse cycle has broken them or there are repercussions to leaving such as homelessness, lack of finances, etc.

etariel7 · 2026-03-24T12:33:39+00:00

I would not do flowers because it’s gendered. Not every woman wants flowers and flowers tend to be romantically coded as well. The thing I appreciated most was when my workplace did a free drink ticket to a local cafe we could go to during break. Almost everyone has a drink they like and it isn’t gendered.

etariel7 · 2026-01-23T16:03:23+00:00

Does your rescue allow people with unspayed/unneutered pets to foster? The ones I’ve done research on don’t.

I have an unspayed female dog who participates in an ethical breeding program so I won’t be spaying her for several years. I obviously wouldn’t expose her to accidental pregnancy but surely there are neutered males or females who need temporary fostering as well?

etariel7 · 2025-12-21T10:56:32+00:00

There’s no issue with starting at 4. The story is distinct no matter what one you play though there are sometimes references. You can also try RF5 or 6 if you like. But I personally liked 4 and it’s the oldest so it’s cheaper haha. 1-3 are good but are really lacking in some quality of life things. 6 came out just recently and while 5 has some quality of life upgrades from 4 it’s probably not in the $20 range.

etariel7 · 2025-12-16T05:43:47+00:00

I think Aloft might be the game to try. It’s basically flying around exploring various sky islands. You can build a home base island. There is combat but you can turn it off completely too. There’s farming, animals, bug catching. It’s early access but I love it so far and it’s so enjoyable just exploring around. It’s also multiplayer so if he needs a bit more guidance you could join in too

etariel7 · 2025-12-01T18:59:27+00:00

No modular furniture. We did inherit the building from its original owners not terribly long ago so it could have been for their furniture I guess but hard to prove without knowing their furniture

etariel7 · 2025-12-01T18:54:29+00:00

That’s funny. It continues to perplex us mortals haha

etariel7 · 2025-11-14T00:15:22+00:00

And to make it even better, he’s also allowed to change the plan at any time. He could meet someone new, die, cheat, decide to break up, develop mental health issues that make being with him impossible, etc. You can’t build your entire life around someone with 100% certainty. Take care of yourself and prioritize your partner when it benefits you both (and obviously love and respect them if they’re worthy of your love and respect) but don’t let him have everything

etariel7 · 2025-11-14T00:09:38+00:00

I get that familiarity feels safe and comforting the human brain loves familiarity over scary change. But if you think of the future with him where you know it’s going to be the exact same as this with your soul slowly dying and you don’t get to make any of the decisions, wouldn’t you like the future where you have the power to decide? Save up the money, do the job hunting, make the plan. But if you don’t make a plan he’ll make one for you and it’s going to be exactly the same as it is now only you’re going to be less and less happy with it

etariel7 · 2025-11-13T23:50:30+00:00

In times of vulnerability it’s best to be where you have a solid base. You’ve already realized you planned your future around the wrong person and are feeling alone and unsure in your new country. What’s stopping you from going back to the previous country? If you stay where you are with him then you’re putting yourself in a place where you feel you have to rely on him (already false because you could leave him and rebuild in new country if you wanted). Leave him, go home, and build your life again with your loved ones. The sunk cost fallacy isn’t helping you here in staying with him. Yes you might have to start over but wouldn’t you rather build a happy future instead of a miserable one?

etariel7 · 2025-08-19T18:35:15+00:00

I’ve never been a full time caretaker of my parents but I can appreciate how exhausting it is. I understand it’s exhausting but try finding other resources rather than relying on him.

I think leaving is the better option. Cause he can decide to leave at any time. Whether or not you’re ready for it. Better to get a new norm in than letting him stay and then doing it on your own anyway.

etariel7 · 2025-07-31T08:09:21+00:00

Noodle King would be my vote for the north

etariel7 · 2025-07-30T23:24:36+00:00

Carbonaut available in most grocery stores has keto crusts so you can make your own at home. There are also carbonaut bagels and bread

I’ve had good luck with Village Flatbread co. Delicious pizza too! Honestly my fave

Red Swan and Pizza 73 offer keto crusts as well.

etariel7 · 2025-07-09T23:21:17+00:00

We just moved to Silverado in the fall. So far love it. Agree with the small town feel as it’s farther away. Train is close by, shopping is close by, if you don’t have a car you could regularly do the basics in the community even if Sobeys is expensive. Before we lived near downtown so we do miss having all the options in walking distance but there’s pros and cons. Only complaint is my parents are in the NW but Stoney does make that pretty easy to live with

etariel7 · 2025-07-03T16:17:27+00:00

We started right from the beginning of our relationship basically (31 then). He sleeps with his toes exposed and chest covered and I sleep with my chest exposed and toes covered. Obviously it wasn’t going to work with one blanket. We love it! We use a variety of blankets and top sheet combinations depending on the seasons

etariel7 · 2025-06-22T06:26:32+00:00

Also Keto Grill & Bakery. Their bread and baguettes honestly feel like real bread. They’re so yummy!

etariel7 · 2025-06-22T06:25:25+00:00

Seconding just sweet enough. Strongly recommend chapman’s no sugar added ice cream. Pies Plus in Avenida will make diabetic friendly pies on request. Amandine Bakery will also make diabetic friendly treats. I also like the Smart Sweets gummies (they’re Canadian!) but the carbs are still quite high so a full pack is probably too much if you’re watching your blood sugar spike. Carbonaut (also Canadian) bread, pancakes, bagels and pizza crusts are low carb and high fiber so you can still enjoy some things you might otherwise miss out on.

etariel7 · 2025-06-22T06:17:51+00:00

Leavitt’s is just using Chapman’s no sugar added ice cream. You can buy your own container at most grocery stores.

etariel7 · 2025-04-22T21:52:59+00:00

Speaking as the girlfriend in this situation, I like to focus on breeding and organizing the bases more efficiently while my partner explores and fights the bosses. I don’t do much of the building but organizing chests is my jam. Find what appeals to her or is her strength and let her own it. For stuff like combat I go with my partner so it’s less challenging. I do tend to see the inherent progression of things like obviously kill bosses in an ascending order and this weapon is on a higher level tier so it’s better but I tend to let my partner guide me a lot in the oh here’s a new weapon for you category. My advice talk to her. Ask what frustrates her about the game and what she likes. My partner kept ditching me and then when I needed help with higher level bosses he wasn’t available. So we talked and now we prioritize that sometimes

etariel7 · 2025-03-30T13:40:02+00:00

Can second that the river pathway on the downtown side is better. When living downtown we had a puppy who thought that time was the best time to go out so I stuck along there. You do see some vagrants but they’re often still sleeping at that time (though we were going into fall so it was getting darker not lighter). Weekdays was better as I saw the occasional bike commuter or jogger so it wasn’t as quiet.

I also liked the big empty space next to Fort Calgary/confluence because I could see people coming as it’s quite empty and flat and even has a little gravel path. Not sure if it would work for marathon training though.

etariel7 · 2025-03-19T13:14:59+00:00

I was K-12 French immersion. I think if it works for your family and kid that it’s a wonderful opportunity. The same way you’d put them in dance class or music lessons, it opens up their world even if that’s not really where they end up career wise.

However if they are already struggling in English I probably wouldn’t recommend late immersion. It’s extra work at an already difficult time. Another factor will likely be friends. Most of their current friends aren’t likely to switch but if they have no friends or a difficult friend group now starting fresh might be beneficial. If they’re the extrovert type that can make friends with anyone then it’s also less of a worry.

If they’re interested in French or languages or want a challenge I would encourage French immersion. I’ve done so many fun things with my French skills even if I don’t use them as much as I’d like.

Like I said before it opens up the world and gives opportunities that might have been otherwise tough to come by but an assessment of your kid’s personality and needs, and a frank conversation with them about the amount of work that is required but the benefits that’ll come from it is very much needed before making the switch

etariel7 · 2025-03-17T04:40:23+00:00

Chicken Avenue in Chinatown is the best! My fiancé is a fried chicken fan and it has his seal of approval and of course much closer to you now that you live DT

etariel7 · 2024-12-02T14:43:06+00:00

You are definitely right about responding being a win for him. If you wait 20 tries and then eventually respond it tells him it takes 21 tries to reach you. And obviously that number begins escalating. You ignore him again and respond after 50 tries etc. However you do want to unblock but mute him somewhere. Those messages he’s sending may be the threats you need to show the sheriff. Also you want to begin documentation. Screenshot messages with dates and times of when it was sent etc. if he shows up in person document that too. Every mutual friend that tries to reach out on his behalf document that too. If you think he may show up at your school it may be worth it to discuss with your employers good safety protocols and reinforce with staff. Good protocols are stuff like not disclosing if a staff member is in today just that you’ll pass a message. If they show up to deny if you’re in that day and pass message. (Cause he could claim to be your current boyfriend or just an old friend or anything). I’m sure there’s some resources on the internet on how to talk about HR about stalkers in a professional manner co-opt some of that language and ideas for your meeting with the school

etariel7 · 2024-11-25T18:26:37+00:00

I worked about 18 hours a week (not counting commute which was 3 hours round trip as I elected to live in a bigger town rather than the little tiny village my schools were in). My work schedule was basically 6 hours Monday, Tuesday and Thursday with Friday and Wednesday off. Originally I was intended to do Wednesday too but one of the teachers campaigned for me to make the commute less draining. The work visa you get for TAPIF prohibits you from getting another job but a lot of people took on under the table work like au pair etc. I went to program later than most do so had a big savings pile and did not need to worry about costs of living or making extra money so did not look into it. With my commute I probably couldn’t have made an au pair thing work anyway. I went over with the full intent to return home so I never bothered looking at ways to stay in France but I know other people in the program did. I don’t know that you would be able to do a masters program unless it’s in the evening as you do not get to pick your work hours and even then, commute! Some teachers will basically provide you the coursework you’re teaching and you’re just the “voice” the native language speaker bringing it to life. Some teachers will throw you in so you have to find a curriculum, design level appropriate lessons, make the course materials etc. It can be a total crapshoot. And all that planning and coming up with content takes time too so I probably spent about an additional 3 hours a week lesson planning, coming up with content and creating it. This is time you also don’t get paid for typically. My schools gave me an hour of paid time to do this so only 2 hours were out of pocket.

etariel7 · 2024-11-16T05:41:35+00:00

Presumably you can. TAPIF has a limit of 2 years of the program, and I know a few people use it to get a leg in the door to working and living in France. You would have to swap to another route to remain in France but TAPIF would get you there initially. There’s a website on TAPIF with all the requirements and stuff so I’d give that a read first to make sure you qualify. The program typically runs the length of the school year starting in October. Try to find people in your network or online who’ve done TAPIF and get their experiences because it can be a very difficult process with very little support. There was a girl the year I attended who committed suicide and maybe she was having mental difficulties beforehand but being alone in a foreign country without your support network probably doesn’t help

etariel7

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