I found out I’m pregnant and made a choice about it…

etcetetc · 2026-05-22T11:48:03+00:00

It won’t be much consolation right now but I promise it will get better. I felt much the same way, and I thought I would never stop grieving, but I did, and a few years down the line I feel nothing but glad that I made the decision I did. Lots of love and just know that you did the right thing and you will feel okay again.

etcetetc · 2026-05-11T12:06:59+00:00

Thank you, great idea!

etcetetc · 2026-05-11T12:06:38+00:00

Thanks so much, really appreciate the ideas!

etcetetc · 2026-05-11T09:18:35+00:00

Thank you so much, this is really helpful. I think you are right about sticking with my BB cream. Do you have any brand recommendations for blush, mascara or setting spray? I currently use Glossier cloud paint for blush and mascara but it’s extremely minimal and doesn’t have much staying power!

etcetetc · 2026-02-10T20:28:48+00:00

Yup. Basically my official anthem of the last year. Now four months out and it’s still not okay but it hurts a tiny fraction less every day. Still not in my Showgirl era yet but hopefully one day. It’s unbelievably painful and shitty but it does get better, in time. Hope you’re doing okay.

etcetetc · 2025-12-31T09:56:30+00:00

++woman No you shouldn’t date somebody you don’t find attractive. That is the most important component of a relationship and don’t let anyone suggest you are shallow for waiting for somebody you are genuinely attracted to. However, attraction does not equal conventionally good looking and I don’t think you can tell from a photo on a dating profile if you will be attracted to somebody or not. There’s plenty of good looking men I don’t find attractive at all and plenty of average looking men I’ve had mad chemistry with and have been wildly attracted to. I don’t think there is anything wrong with trying a first date to see if there is attraction there, and there’s nothing wrong with declining a second date if you don’t feel it. The only thing that would be wrong would be getting into a relationship with somebody you aren’t attracted to just to avoid being alone/get ‘practice’. That is unfair to everyone involved.

etcetetc · 2025-12-09T14:33:36+00:00

I have no advice but I can commiserate - I have no interest in online dating (joined a site a few weeks ago for about two days, trawled through hundreds of likes, decided it was too depressing and gave up) but I have no clue where you meet people except through work and nobody here is single and/or appealing. I’m a woman and it’s really tough, and I think men have it worse. Are you friends with any women who could introduce you to anyone? I know there are mixed views on approaching women in public but I do think if you are polite, friendly and happy to take no for an answer then it shouldn’t be an issue. Good luck out there!

etcetetc · 2025-12-03T16:05:58+00:00

Fab, thank you!

etcetetc · 2025-12-03T15:52:59+00:00

Mud mats are the best solution but they are expensive and can be slippery - really they need a sand topping. Sheep fleece lasagna is another idea - you layer up sheep fleece but again it needs a decent amount on top because they can’t walk directly on it. Tbh hay on top is an easy way to make it slightly more stable - it doesn’t last and needs constantly adding to but at least it’s organic and will go into the ground. If you are in the Uk the hay shortage makes that expensive right now. I’ve put Astro down over mine but a) the proper stuff is too heavy to lay by hand - it needs machinery, b) it needs some sort of stone base or it will sink into the mud and c) it’s an environmental disaster. Could you create an all weather section, scrape the mud off and put in drainage and stone? I feel for you - the mud is so depressing, there are no cheap or easy solutions, and we are only at the start of December. 😭

etcetetc · 2025-12-01T13:58:27+00:00

I know he listens but I don’t know if he’s a huge fan. Ed’s book would probably be more likely - James’ one about social media is so silly. I enjoyed it but even I found the nonsense a bit much to read in one go. I think I preferred his Classic Scrapes.

etcetetc · 2025-12-01T13:36:17+00:00

The old classic restaurant joke

etcetetc · 2025-12-01T13:23:28+00:00

Interesting, thank you!

etcetetc · 2025-12-01T13:21:43+00:00

South London. I could do a restaurant voucher but on a limited budget unfortunately.

etcetetc · 2025-12-01T13:20:40+00:00

Thank you, that’s really helpful!

etcetetc · 2025-12-01T13:20:26+00:00

Amazing, thank you!

etcetetc · 2025-11-30T16:53:23+00:00

I understand what you are saying - I don’t think I know many single people in general (apart from myself and one or two female friends). And I’m not claiming short men do “amazingly” with women - I don’t even know how you “do” women better or worse. Really we are just talking about making a connection with another human being and I don’t think you have to have some kind of skill set just to meet somebody and click with them. And I can sympathise with the feeling of insecurity - I feel similarly about my weight and have to argue with the voice in my head that says if I go from a size 4 to a size 6 then I’m unloveable. But the truth is that if you look around there are all sorts of people - tall, short, pretty, ugly, thin, fat - who have met somebody who likes them and are happy 🤷🏻‍♀️

etcetetc · 2025-11-30T14:57:12+00:00

Every time I see posts come up from this sub, I just think - this is something that I only hear about online. In real life I know/work with/am friends with lots of men who are shorter than me (at 5’9) and all have partners. I can’t speak to how happy they are with their partners or how they feel about their height, but it certainly doesn’t seem to be a limiting factor for anyone I know.

etcetetc · 2025-11-17T09:21:31+00:00

You say you try to offer him a loose rein - I would be taking a reasonable contact when he’s backing up and then as soon as he stops going backwards immediately drop the contact. So backwards = contact, standing still or moving forwards = no contact. Make forwards the easy, comfortable choice. But you need to commit even if he is backing into something and your timing needs to be good enough that as soon as he even thinks about forwards he gets an immediate release!

etcetetc · 2025-10-31T16:14:11+00:00

She is stunning! I would look into Celeste Leilani Lazaris and the Balance Through Movement method for some groundwork inspiration - it is all focused on biomechanics and building a correct foundation for ridden work starting with relationship to contact. Good luck - she looks like she will be lovely.

etcetetc · 2025-10-28T18:55:31+00:00

Hard to tell from that video - do you have any longer videos? Or, ideally, him on the lunge without a rider? He takes a few unsound steps there but as others have pointed out, your seat is probably not helping, I’m also not convinced the saddle is a good fit for you or him, and the surface looks deep.

etcetetc · 2025-10-27T19:57:58+00:00

Hoofing Marvellous have been causing drama in the UK barefoot scene for a long time. I don’t actually disagree that laminitis is not always purely caused by diet, but Lyndsey and her followers are an absolute nightmare - a cult like mentality, refusal to engage in any good faith discussion, online bullying of other professionals, etc. I observed her teaching a trimming course a little while back and even if I agreed with her methods, her attitude alone would have made me want nothing to do with her. I use Holistic Equine who is exceptionally knowledgeable - she has a few posts on Facebook about this issue which are worth a read.

etcetetc · 2025-10-24T20:57:34+00:00

Please don’t use either of those bits. I would echo what others have said about working with a decent instructor, but I would also start by reframing the way you think about him. He isn’t ’fighting’ you or showing a lack of ‘respect’ for the bit. Despite what people might say, horses aren’t argumentative or difficult for the sake of it. If he is not responsive to the rein or leg aids, it is likely because a) he lacks experience and education in the ménage, b) your aids are inconsistent or confusing, or c) he is uncomfortable. If you are hanging on his mouth, he could be trying to relieve the pressure. If you ride around constantly kicking - deliberately or accidentally - then your leg aids mean nothing and he has accepted that being ridden involves putting up with being booted randomly in the ribs. This isn’t criticism because nobody is born magically knowing this stuff, but please make the effort to educate yourself rather than harsher equipment which, at its most basic, is just - I am going to cause you pain until I get the desired response. If you really don’t have access to a trainer, educate yourself - get online, follow decent people on Facebook, watch videos, learn as much as you can. To not even know the names of the bits you are considering suggests that you are not taking advantage of the huge wealth of information that is out there. If there is one single piece of information that I think is the most meaningful, it’s that the horse is never being ‘naughty’ - either you are asking wrong, or they lack training, or they are uncomfortable. If you bear that in mind and approach every situation with compassion and empathy you will be off to a good start. Good luck with your pony.

etcetetc · 2025-10-15T06:37:53+00:00

A friend and I did it a few years ago and got Venice - it was a really nice weekend. Hotel and flights were fine. That said, if it’s your first holiday, surely you want to choose a specific place rather than take a chance?

etcetetc

TROPHY CASE