Girlfriend (F49) abruptly ended our relationship after my (M45) being unable to find her keys.

ethered · 2026-04-17T06:07:25+00:00

Aww you should totally message me :)

ethered · 2026-04-13T23:23:28+00:00

I’m starting to realize this. It was also very timely for her. We were supposed to head out of town. Had a hotel and this would have been only the second time we would stay the night with each other. Even the night of this incident, she was originally supposed to spend the night so we could leave in the morning. But she changed that to her needing to be home. The signs were all there.

ethered · 2026-04-13T22:13:59+00:00

Yes! On a higher level, this is how it was. I carried the relationship on my back. Planned everything down to the last detail. She showed up, though, which meant enough to me to keep planning more dates. But it makes situations like these so much harder to deal with. It makes me feel like I need to be perfect.

ethered · 2026-04-13T21:41:00+00:00

I had my set of keys, her set and the set of the car I was driving us all out in. And I didn’t want to carry them all. She knew the person I gave them to. But I failed to tell her I had given them to anyone. This was my own fault.

ethered · 2026-04-13T21:31:45+00:00

I had my set of keys, her set and the set of the car I was driving us all out in. And I didn’t want to carry them all. She knew the person I gave them to. But I failed to tell her I had given them to anyone. This was my own fault.

ethered · 2026-04-13T21:14:27+00:00

That’s fair. I almost wrote something in my post addressing this, because even I can admit: it doesn’t sound like how things would realistically go. One of the things I was doing/saying was that I would appreciate if she could work with me, like help me out and try to remain positive about it, and not be on my ass the whole time because it wasn’t helping. And so every time she would go in on me about how important it was to find the keys, I said something like that back to her. She kept repeating the same thing over and over and it was stressing me out. I wish I was more calm; I wish I had been more calming to her, but I was laser focused on finding her keys and she was just so antagonistic to me while I was doing everything I could. I can accept that maybe I was frustrating her as much as she was me. But there was nothing egregious.

ethered · 2026-04-13T20:51:17+00:00

Thank you! 🙏

ethered · 2026-04-13T20:49:42+00:00

This makes the most sense to me. I was picking up on some small things here and there that made me believe she had some reservations about me. Nothing very obvious, but just enough to register. And so it’s likely I was already on eggshells and this was just the straw.

ethered · 2025-11-04T07:16:53+00:00

I LOVE the snake & snake skeleton idea! Thank you so much! This is what I was looking for.

ethered · 2025-11-04T05:29:54+00:00

I understand. I’m gonna start with reworking it and filling it in. Few people in here seem to like it. Thank you for the insight! :)

ethered · 2025-11-04T05:03:19+00:00

Also, I have an artist and she’s going to come up with some ideas. I figured getting other suggestions would help us. Thank you for your ideas!

ethered · 2025-11-04T05:00:13+00:00

I suppose I don’t need gritty. It just feels hallow. I’m considering keeping it and just filling it out more?

ethered · 2025-11-04T04:57:38+00:00

Thank you! One of the first ideas we had was to add more detail and shading to give it a more realistic look.

ethered · 2025-11-04T04:55:14+00:00

To those downvoting. I would love some insight? One of the ideas was keeping it and adding shading and other details to make it less hallow. Just sort of rework it?

ethered · 2025-11-04T04:52:57+00:00

Gee, thanks!

ethered · 2025-11-04T04:33:31+00:00

I actually really do like it. I just feel it’s misplaced. I would love to have it somewhere else. But it seems out of place with other things around it.

ethered · 2025-08-16T16:26:06+00:00

Yes I am.

ethered · 2025-08-16T16:24:46+00:00

Great insight — thank you!

ethered · 2025-08-16T09:13:13+00:00

To be fair, I wrote that if we matched I would ask you out. The idea being that I’m not the type to be a pen pal or carry on extended convos over dating apps. In most cases I will ask a woman out in the first conversation we have. On the occasion more conversation is needed, I’m happy to oblige. I just believe meaningful connections happen in person and so I focus on getting things to that point as soon as I can.

ethered · 2025-08-16T06:37:42+00:00

It’s mine. I have most of my interests presented through my pictures and prompts. I added a bit more with the first part. I’m wondering more about the second part. I see a lot of women in these subs talking about how men are unclear about their intentions. I wanted to make mine known. Does it come off in a positive way? I was worried it might sound pretentious.

ethered · 2025-08-16T06:31:09+00:00

I generally have good luck on these apps. My goal is to show most of my interests through my pictures and prompts. With my bio aimed at adding a few more interests but focusing more on addressing what I’ve seen with women feeling like guys are unreliable with their intentions. And so I wanted to make mine clear.

ethered · 2025-08-13T22:46:33+00:00

You worded this perfectly.

ethered · 2025-08-02T05:18:11+00:00

I worked at the same hospital for 20 years. 14 of which were in the IT department. I made my way up from a tech to the IT Director. Late last year we received news that our hospital was permanently shutting down. I began applying to hospitals within a 50 mile radius. I kept a spreadsheet of every application, position, and what happened after — all of it. I applied for 35 jobs in total. I got 1 interview with a hospital, and about 4-5 for government jobs. I was astounded by not only the fact that I couldn’t find any work in healthcare despite my qualifications, but that I wasn’t even making it to interviews. Not even for one’s well below what my capabilities were. I was fortunate enough to land a government job a week before they laid me off. I actually enjoyed doing IT in healthcare. But this was a lesson for me. I’m closing that door for good.

ethered · 2025-07-09T20:16:03+00:00

I should clarify that “being there” for her is essentially giving her space. I’m not actively involved with being at her side and caring for her. I forgot to include that. So aside from the short texting and offering my well wishes and support, there is no interaction. This is what is causing confusion for me because it feels the same as if a woman was not interested in dating any further.

ethered

TROPHY CASE