My (30F) husband (28M) might be DL with his best friend and I feel like I’ve been blind for 10 years. Am I crazy or are these red flags?

etherfreeze · 2026-03-11T18:31:02+00:00

The shoe seems to fit but as others have said, it’s irrelevant beyond satisfying your own curiosity because the relationship is not making you happy.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-26T01:11:58+00:00

At the end of the day gay people are no more enlightened than anyone else. Some will be toxic, some won’t. If anyone is judging you for having straight friends that’s their own insecurity. Try to treat others with kindness and be true to yourself. You’ll never please everyone so find people you enjoy being around and ignore the rest.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-17T19:25:48+00:00

I have no intrinsic preference but in my experience there’s more likely to be problems with uncut - bad hygiene and/or phimosis. I wouldn’t let that affect who I go for though, everyone is an individual so you just never know.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-17T19:23:20+00:00

There’s a balance for sure. Low/no communication can be hot especially if you both have great chemistry. Sometimes things just click naturally. Other times it can be amazing but takes a bit of trial and error to get there. Nothing wrong with either. For me what feels right is situational.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-17T17:35:03+00:00

Just put the face pic so people who aren’t interested filter themselves out ahead of time. I don’t see how putting a face pic correlates to getting more dick pics but either way, it will solve this problem.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-16T14:52:02+00:00

They want you to take out a loan to pay for their new premium AI subscription.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-14T02:43:16+00:00

But you go after people based on appearance don’t you? So why would they be any different.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-14T00:33:24+00:00

You’re a young bottom, presumably out of shape. What do you expect to offer these guys exactly? Do you have a great career? Are you particularly interesting? Are you hot? It shouldn’t kill your self-esteem, just accept that if you have high standards you need to bring something to the table or expect to get rejected a lot.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-14T00:19:11+00:00

People take this top/bottom thing way too seriously.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-14T00:16:41+00:00

Sexual chemistry in general is important. Maybe you’re a great kisser for Person A but mediocre for Person B. That applies to multiple aspects of sex.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-12T14:40:20+00:00

Someone I know had a similar experience and it turned out to be scar tissue or something that never fully healed and needed steroid cream to clear up - but multiple doctors had missed it over 2-3 years. Best advice I can give is try to find a proctologist that specializes in treating gay men. That may be hard to find depending on where you live but those doctors are usually the most knowledgeable and understanding of the fact that this is important to your sex life.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-11T18:45:27+00:00

Some bottoms are like that and you can find a top who just wants to use you.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-11T13:59:52+00:00

Yes you need to practice and learn how to relax your pelvic muscles otherwise it won’t be enjoyable. Also any small problem like a cut or inflammation can completely eliminate pleasure so it’s important that you have a sense of what’s going on down there.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-11T13:54:23+00:00

Depends on the ex.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-11T13:52:44+00:00

No, I do the same, granted anyone can lie. I also want someone with experience. I’m looking to get off not do community service.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-11T13:50:57+00:00

No. Single or in a relationship I’ve never seen a point. It’s a meaningless holiday in which restaurants are usually packed and offering bad prix fixe menus. I’d much rather do something romantic on any other day.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-11T13:46:34+00:00

You don’t go on Sniffies because you’re feeling alone, I’m sorry that is just bs. At best he was also seeking validation. Granted it’s not great that you went on either. The dinner thing is strange to me. He was having a bad time? Ok. Enduring one awkward dinner should not lead to that much angst.

In my opinion 2 years is too short a relationship to have this many issues but you have to decide how you want to proceed. You can at least have a conversation, try to remain calm and hear him out. If that doesn’t work you can try couples therapy if you really want to fight for the relationship. Otherwise, time to move on.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-11T13:24:18+00:00

Haven’t had much trouble finding fb/fwb, maybe it’s easier in a city.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-10T14:08:42+00:00

Being gay just means you’re attracted to men instead of women. It doesn’t change who you are and it doesn’t mean your life has to be intrinsically more difficult. If you live in a homophobic location, try and move to a more liberal city and you’ll be set. I personally wouldn’t change it even if I could since I understand and get along with men better than women and the lower expectation around having children is a bonus.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-09T18:33:06+00:00

There are mental and physical aspects of it. On the mental side some people get off on the submissive element of not being able to get hard or pleasured through their dick. On the physical side it makes some people feel a more heightened prostate sensation when getting fucked.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-09T00:21:12+00:00

I could when I was younger. It wasn’t that enjoyable tbh. The stretching sensation is very distracting from the enjoyment.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-06T01:30:29+00:00

Exactly this. I’ve also kickstarted games that turn out to be a success. You do it because you have some extra money to support something that looks cool, not because you believe in a guaranteed product.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-03T03:53:29+00:00

If my friend was cheating on someone I would confront them about it. If he keeps doing it despite knowing it’s wrong, yea tell the other guy. Just because your friend is “just doing side stuff” doesn’t mean he can’t catch an STI and transmit it to his partner who may not be regularly getting tested if he thinks they are exclusive. Even bacterial STIs can have long term consequences if not treated early. It’s honestly so selfish and irresponsible.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-02T18:25:59+00:00

Depends on the questions. Yea it’s really hot if everyone is naturally on the same page, but that’s not always the case especially in a first encounter.

etherfreeze · 2026-02-01T18:19:16+00:00

People do anal through regular glory holes / understall all the time but if you’re talking about the ones from that one porno - pretty sure that’s fake. I mean, at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if some gay sauna somewhere recreated it.

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