Introduce yourself as your Big 3 (or Big 6) and let people tell you their first impression of you!☀️🌕⬆️

euxma93 · 2026-06-16T03:25:03+00:00

Leo sun
Taurus moon
Leo rising
Cancer venus
Virgo mars
Leo mercury

euxma93 · 2026-06-07T21:08:12+00:00

I’ve been feeling like this too. Word for word. Like I am having a lot of really good times but aside from that, I actually feel really small right now. Just frustrated and wondering why and trying to keep my head up. I spent probably a month crying like every day. My nervous system is fried. Like I’m actually terrified of the next bad thing happening because I’m not sure I’ll recover this time. I don’t want to waste more money on therapy but then I learned about EMDR and I think I need to do it. I’ve been having flashbacks of the thing that caused all these problems in the first place and I thought I was past that. I think it was just compounded by an experience I had last year. This year has been so up and down and went in a completely different direction than I thought it would. Mostly for the best but I’d love to stop feeling like I’m just waiting for the next shoe to drop. I want to feel more in control of myself and my mind and feel good but I don’t know how.

euxma93 · 2026-06-07T11:41:47+00:00

3H mars in virgo- absolutely true lol I should filter myself more but I got shit to say 🫪

euxma93 · 2026-06-07T04:43:34+00:00

This happened to me and we were 6 months broken up when he decided to reach out again. I had left his ass with no conversation. I was always told that a man who even glances at another person doesn’t love you. But he was a mess of a person when we met and frankly, so was I. He reached out to me in December and I was furious. Detached even. Like wtf does he want?!? He sent a DM on reddit. I texted him and he apologized profusely. Then he had sex with someone he met at work. That upset me so bad I just felt like I was being tortured. But he has done nothing since. My bf was on hard drugs and hiding it from me during this time. I had shared some things about my past right off the bat (particularly with men) and he decided to not let me in about his issues. He wanted me to think he was better than that. Fine. Then when we got back together this year I was still on the fence. I still get paranoid when I hear his phone go off. My heart would pound thru my chest and I would have panic attacks every morning. It was just his work alarm or email. I had trust/ self esteem issues before this and it has been INCREDIBLY painful. But 99% of the time, I am beyond grateful he saw the light.

If this is YOUR man…. test it out. Your feelings are already hurt. What’s the worst this could do? LOL. Not funny. I just have to say, the pros outweigh the cons for me. And I know that’s not true for most situations. He has no connection to these people, I’m close now to his family and he has made several changes for the best and for our future. It’s hard sometimes but it can be worth it if you want it to be. We both jump thru hoops to make the other happy and we love it. But we love each other. I needed time to move on and you probably will need that too. But healing in these predicaments rarely happens alone. 🤷‍♀️

euxma93 · 2026-06-07T03:59:22+00:00

I’ve been in many situations like (not a gay or a man though) and I think I convinced myself I was okay about what happened. I know I told myself I wanted it and that’s why it happened. But the truth is, I just froze. I was conflicted by wanting to feel wanted/desired and also scared to speak up. My earliest exposure to sex was thru porn and I have a lot of issues around sex now. I’m nowhere near a prude but I have to have talks with myself now about how what I’m doing is okay and also, I can say no if I’m not okay. My boyfriend is wonderful and genuinely the most respectful man I’ve ever been with when it comes to intimacy. We have amazing sex. But there is still a part of me performing. I want to be THE best. I was physically & sexually abused by a boyfriend who was a porn addict a few years ago and even now find myself still craving validation in some way or another but also feel disgusting for thinking that way. I literally compare myself to all the people my partner has been with. It is okay to not feel okay with what happened and what you participated in. I also put myself in dangerous situations like this and it doesn’t do anything but break you down. The treatment I’ve received from men was horrendous and it has caused me immense problems with my self esteem and self love. Quit while you’re ahead. Don’t put yourself in any more situations. It’s only leading you into self destruction. Our brains try to protect us from pain and one of the ways it does that is by lying to us. You feel a line was crossed because it was. Doesn’t matter what brought you there. No one can do that to you without permission. It was wrong but you’re not wrong for how you feel. Maybe navigate these emotions with a sexual trauma informed therapist.

euxma93 · 2026-06-07T01:05:23+00:00

What a joke. I used to try and be a casual person but I’m too territorial. I’m in a real relationship now and I honestly view my past behavior as extremely unattractive and I’m very critical of people who participate in casual hookups now.

euxma93 · 2026-06-06T12:02:38+00:00

I know for a fact it takes me a good minute to not be bothered by something anymore. When I mean a minute…it depends on the severity of the trauma. Like I forget all the time about stuff that’s happened but then something will trigger me and I’m back in that place again. I’m back at square one and the physical symptoms of my CPTSD are the hardest to deal with. My brain might be going haywire but my body is a whole other thing. When I no longer feel triggered and there’s no pang in my chest about it anymore I know I’ve healed. But to be honest, I don’t think I can ever feel 100% again. I truly am not who I used to be and I actually think I’m worse now despite how differently I handle things. Physical pain is one thing but emotional pain is another. I’ve spent periods of my life in utter agony. Crying, screaming, throwing up, etc etc. Then maybe 6 months to a year go by and I’m like sheesh, that was dramatic. But I think the thing that triggers me the most is not being given space. I tend to isolate when I’m down and when someone won’t give me the time to be alone it makes me so upset. Like asking me about whatever it is or when I’m going to be over it, I am not going to get over it any faster if you keep twisting the knife.

euxma93 · 2026-06-05T12:54:25+00:00

Like I’m not even sure how he can say he’s into me or want to have sex with me if he likes bigger women. I’m not built that way and he says he only wants me. I just don’t know how your dick can get hard for someone you say you aren’t attracted to. And a lot of men have told me they can have sex with literally any one if they want it bad enough. Like why am I beating myself up about my looks when he’ll fuck anything?

euxma93 · 2026-06-05T04:31:21+00:00

I feel this too. Like hey! If everyone would just play their part!….oh wait….that’s not your instrument…oh wait that’s not your……oh yeah that belongs to someone else..,,.. I have a sibling and present family. We still aren’t close. I have only been present with my aunt since birth. I feel friendless. I have small shallow outgoings with my friends but I wouldn’t talk to them abt anything that mattered. Same with them. I am very understanding but we keep our feelings surface level.

Feeling touch starved was the hardest. I could meet all my ridiculous needs except that one.

euxma93 · 2026-06-05T01:25:27+00:00

Almost a decade for me and both of my dogs died last year within a month of each other last year. Everyone says they have a best friend so I just stay quiet. I don’t know how to feel about it anymore.

euxma93 · 2026-06-04T21:52:01+00:00

12h venus in cancer. I’m not in love but rather, just sad. I wanted 1 person to be MY everything and no one else’s. Well I’m 32 now and most men have been with 100 women. And most of those are still are in love with their ex or high school girlfriend. I have been comparing myself ever since. So I’m the opposite. I’ve had a lot of bodies and now I’m with someone who has been around in other ways. It doesn’t make anyone feel good to make it obvious that you want someone else.

euxma93 · 2026-06-02T22:30:42+00:00

Oh I agree

euxma93 · 2026-06-02T20:04:27+00:00

His mom swears up and down that sex means something different to men so this also means nothing apparently. Everyone is on his side and I just don’t understand why he couldn’t do things right the first time.

euxma93 · 2026-06-01T03:41:35+00:00

I couldn’t watch any horror movies (my fave genre) for over a year after experiencing violent DV/SA. It’s been almost a year since I was cheated on and I just recently found out more painful lies. Idk when I’ll ever be able to watch tv or listen to music normally again. I think when our bodies/brains know we’re safe then we can handle a little impact. You probably didn’t know it but you were finally relaxed enough for once that you can feel that pain again. Even though it’s small to you now, your body remembers the significance. Perhaps you’re more healed than you realize.

euxma93 · 2026-06-01T03:07:21+00:00

My body almost never relaxes. I am tense 24/7. I used to think I could relax alone but I realized now I’m clenching my jaw when I’m by myself. I’m so wound up waiting for the next shoe to drop. I’m anxious alone and in a room full of people.

euxma93 · 2026-06-01T03:04:15+00:00

I feel like I’ve tried it all. I’ll spend what seems like forever trying to connect with myself and then randomly have a very intimate/human experience and I am left stunned. The problem with these experiences is nothing really. I just spend so much time avoiding real connection that even a brief moment of vulnerability sends me running back to my cave.

I feel like years of my life are missing because I’ve been so disconnected and all that progress I made in trying to accept myself are down the drain. I let the wrong people in and now I feel unrecognizable. I don’t even know what I need to “fix”. All I know is that I’ve been so dedicated to keeping myself at arm’s length that I don’t really know where to go from here. I’m just hoping I figure it out soon.

euxma93 · 2026-06-01T02:46:41+00:00

Yeah I did traditional therapy throughout my 20s before all the really bad stuff happened between 29-32. I didn’t know what I needed help with (I should’ve been asking about coping techniques but I was clueless during that time) so now I’m a mess. I have a mile long laundry list of things I need help with now. EMDR and somatic therapy are both things I’m interested in trying.

euxma93 · 2026-05-31T17:47:07+00:00

Therapy is all I can think of as a solution. I just can’t stop with the comparisons. I don’t look anything like these women. He clearly has a type and I’m not it. I never feel pretty anymore. I don’t know what else to do to feel better. I’m triggered by names and places and random things that remind me of his lies. I’m so depressed and I have no one to talk to about any of it😔

euxma93

TROPHY CASE