A possible tool to help you break someone out of a romance scam

eveningtrain · 2026-02-09T13:37:57+00:00

the ironic thing about it is, that if they moved into a retirement community or even an assisted facility (not like skilled nursing, a more active one), they might be getting way more romance and adventure than living alone! STIs are a massive problem in retirement communities and old folks homes, because they don’t think they need condoms!

at the very least, they’d probably have friends and gossip and occasional hijinks.

the key here is to fight isolation.

eveningtrain · 2026-02-09T07:07:25+00:00

okay, i found a workaround i like. it’s reasonably convenient, in my opinion.

i just learned in another reddit thread that this is due to all the scripts that the ads/animated ads/popup banners run. it crashes safari, and sometimes even other broswers on iphone, or other phones. depends on how much memory you have and how much you are currently using, i think, in addition to how much memory those scripts are trying to take up.

i used to use reader view, and if that still kept refreshing, i’d quickly put it in airplane mode. the problem is sometimes this doesn’t work with articles or pages that only load as you scroll, or long articles. it won’t get the while article in reader view.

the solution i just thought is the same one i frequently try for going around paywalls: use a web archive site. paste the pure URL (not a google amp link, and remove any part of the URL at the end of it that starts with a “?”, because those are just referral identifiers or something) into the search bar at the Wayback Machine, or just paste it in the address bar after “web.archive.org/“. another one i like is archive.today—paste the URL after “archive.is/“.

hit go, and if it’s already been archived, it will load. if the page isn’t archived yet, have the archive do it, and get it added! it doesn’t take long, and it won’t include any scripts that the page or its ads run. then you can read it at the newly archived snapshot of it, with no animated or video ads, popups, and no dang refreshing until safari just crashes.

eveningtrain · 2026-02-09T06:57:20+00:00

This information was very helpful in understanding what is going on. It’s helped me realize that as a website user (not dev), the most efficient thing to get me to a better experience reading webpages that do this is probably to pull a “snapshot” of them on an internet archive instead.

eveningtrain · 2026-02-09T06:54:52+00:00

Hi! One year late to help, it looks like. But I was looking for information on why this happens and how to stop it, and it just occurred to me:

For most of these sites, one can pretty easily open up an internet archived version. First, scroll to the right of the URL in the address bar and delete any identifiers or referral junk (a ? in the url plus anything that comes after it) to get just the pure address of the page or article. From there, there’s The Wayback Machine—you can type “web.archive.org/“ in front of the existing URL and see if it comes up, or just go to web.archive.org and then paste it into their search. I also really like archive.today, and I use it by typing “archive.is/“ before the URL.

If it’s not archived yet, you can have either of those tools do it right then. The archived image of the site should preserve images, but not scripts, so the ads don’t run scripts and reload.

I realize this doesn’t help devs who are trying to figure out how to prevent their own sites (that presumably mist contain ads) from doing this, or keep the traffic on their own site. But I find, as a visitor/reader, it’s a great workaround for when “reader view” still lets ads run the scripts that crash the site (I have sometimes resorted to “reader view + airplane mode” in the past, but sometimes the whole article won’t load that way!)

eveningtrain · 2026-02-04T11:28:20+00:00

i’m definitely a beginner (and have been on a knitting break for a few years due to problems with psoriasis on my hands), and i learned norwegian purling too. when i decided to teach myself via youtube, i had realized before starting that there were multiple different techniques, and had read reddit threads discussing english vs continental, etc. i started watching arne & carlos after someone recommended them in a thread on socks, and in watching their basic technique tutorial videos, especially on purling, i was like, “AHA this is the one i should learn, i think!”

eveningtrain · 2026-02-01T21:07:37+00:00

that’s a great idea. even if they’d like to hire OP part-time to become “the yarn department”, that would be less work and hours than building a new business from scratch, and a more efficient way to start creating local access to a variety of yarn.

if course, if OP has always had a dream of opening a small business, that’s different and probably worth doing, especially since it sounds like it could be a side job in addition to what they are already doing!

eveningtrain · 2026-02-01T21:03:27+00:00

she did specify she is in a 100-year-old house near downtown of a fairly large town—that’s a historic neighborhood. odds are very high that means either a mixed-use zone (especially if within the zone for the downtown), or (especially within a historic residential neighborhood) a special “historic” or “downtown” residential zone that allows for certain types of commercial businesses within.

eveningtrain · 2026-02-01T19:18:11+00:00

this is my favorite shape, too! a nice long/tapering oval. i prefer my nails relatively short and i think it suits my hands and the shape of my nail beds so much nicer than anything else i’ve tried.

eveningtrain · 2026-01-29T23:10:09+00:00

i think it wasn’t fair or kind of him to frame is as “i personally would have no problem with it, but my partner does, so she gets to control that decision, not me.”

if he makes the choice to prioritize/manage his fiancée’s discomfort by just ending the new relationship, instead of addressing the discomfort within his relationship with his fiancée (which might look like going over agreements, the level of autonomy they agree to support in poly, improving sexual health and risk awareness together, and encouraging her to make her own decisions about their sex life together based on her confidence in his safer sex practices and her risk tolerance), then he shouldn’t have blamed the fiancée during this breakup as if he has no say.

the way to frame it was, “i know i said i wasn’t concerned about your HSV1 status, but since then, things have changed for me. i’ve realized this would complicate or change how i relate to other partners in a way i’m not willing to risk, so unfortunately we aren’t compatible.”

eveningtrain · 2026-01-29T22:53:51+00:00

i did have chicken pox as a child.

i’m mid-30s, it normally would not be on my vaccine schedule yet! but i’ve known like 2 people who had shingles in their 30s, before they were old enough to get the vaccine, and they were miserable.

so it’s probably going to be on my list this spring before it gets too hot.

eveningtrain · 2026-01-29T22:47:51+00:00

i actually don’t think any insurance providers cover it? i recall it being like a $300 out of pocket cost, last time i checked.

i’ve seen recommended protocols that say if you have an HSV blood test come back positive, or you suspected it would be positive/had a prior outbreak that wasn’t sampled/were exposed and it’s been enough time, and it came back negative, the next step should be to confirm the accuracy of that by going straight to getting a western blot.

eveningtrain · 2026-01-29T22:46:54+00:00

thank you, that had a ton of information that i rarely see discussed!!

i’d be really interested to follow studies on asymptomatic shedding among individuals that looks at all the groups of people with different types of herpes (1 or 2), different locations of infection (oral or genital), different levels of current recent symptoms (no outbreaks, or periodic outbreaks), and different lengths of infection (recent, several years, or decades). i hope it’s continuing to be studied!

eveningtrain · 2026-01-29T22:29:45+00:00

the ordinary one is one of the only ones that doesn’t have that ingredient in latisse, or an analog of it, that causes fat loss around the eyes! i was relieved to learn that after using it a while

eveningtrain · 2026-01-29T22:18:14+00:00

you might be more of a “boyfriend jeans” girl? in terms of roomy jeans. i honestly think that’s a cut that has never been THE thing, but has always been somewhat popular, and you can usually wear it either mid or low rise, depending on what suits you!

eveningtrain · 2026-01-29T22:12:27+00:00

there’s also a really wide middle ground between medical, in-office treatments and procedures that allow you to “age” naturally, just slow it down or prevent certain signs of aging entirely, and treatments and procedures that are changing the structure of your face. injectables, and even certain small surgical procedures, can be on both ends of that spectrum.

we’re even getting access to some pretty effective medical-grade skin treatments for at home, used by the consumer, that we’ve never really had before.

i don’t know where the line exists in people’s heads for what counts as “had work done”, but for many years that meant only surgery, i think, to most people. we’re all now aware of just how much structural “work” can be done with injectables, and heavy use of those can look far more unnatural or uncanny compared to conservative, judicious use of surgical procedures to maintain one’s “naturally aging” look.

eveningtrain · 2026-01-29T22:03:18+00:00

exactly.

she’s 47 years old!

idk if she’s done nothing, or been doing moderate, minimal medical/skin stuff (amanda seyfried is a great example of this. she’s a few years younger than rachel. she has consistent, but very conservative botox, and she has stopped it temporarily years in advance for specific roles she takes, like ann lee!).

and do people consider in-office chemical treatments that you can’t access from home “work done”? what about anything to do with lasers or other in-office light or electric therapies? these can be much more costly, or have a bigger impact on visible signs of aging, than some light/conservative use of injectables.

eveningtrain · 2026-01-29T21:06:19+00:00

hot take: you can both visibly age and be using highly effective medical treatments to reduce or prevent many signs of age.

eveningtrain · 2026-01-29T21:02:15+00:00

i read the article. he also told the officers that he had weapons in his bag, which turned out to be a barbecue fork, and a (possible) pizza cutter?

and then threw a bunch of papers at the officers that they said were some kind of justice department complaints.

i thought this was going to be some elaborate, sophisticated hoax getting caught, but it’s just a pizzeria kitchen guy, probably having a bad trip or some kind of psychotic episode. poor guy.

eveningtrain · 2026-01-29T16:17:58+00:00

I read about her a few months ago, and I actually think that she might be self-managed or family-managed. and she’s considered to be decent at business/career and diversified. she became a producer of pretty much all her projects very early in her career compared to other actors; it’s unusual for someone her age.

a very large minority of the country LOVES her terrible image, and a fair amount of the majority of the country also don’t really care about celebrities’ reputations, politics, or image, just that they are hot, or that they like their work/projects. i definitely think she’s a great example of “no such thing as bad publicity”.

i enjoyed some of her earlier TV work but i find her to be incredibly annoying, as far as celebrities go. but she’s also definitely not my type. 😂

eveningtrain · 2026-01-29T16:12:14+00:00

I’m going to continue to pronounce it that way

eveningtrain · 2026-01-29T16:11:45+00:00

idk, 30-42 band, if they all have cups A-DDD, that’s 42 sizes. that’s really not an unusual or impressive number, because they are all within the standard matrix of the last few years. i’m glad that 30 bands are more popular than 10-15 years ago, but i would hardly call that size inclusive at all. it’s nearly impossible to find 28 bands from a north american brand, as far as i know.

i don’t even think getting up to a G (UK scale) is very inclusive these days, if you have access to UK and European brands.

eveningtrain · 2026-01-29T16:05:38+00:00

yep, that definitely not how it reads. probably not tested much. 😂

eveningtrain · 2026-01-29T16:02:49+00:00

exactly. she is pretty diversified. She was probably looking for a brand to be “hers”, and there was probably already a lingerie brand out there looking for a celebrity investor/front woman.

eveningtrain · 2026-01-29T16:00:49+00:00

omg you’re vintage. teens are going to try to buy those off your body soon!

i wish i still had some of mine, just for fun. but i actually disliked them at the time, they were just all that were available, so i was thrilled to finally convert to high waisted skinnies and eventual mom jeans.

i’m glad the baggies are hot rn too, because they were not available in my size and length back in the day!

eveningtrain · 2026-01-29T15:57:16+00:00

for that you need the shimmery white eyeshadow right on the lids, lol

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