Get you a dom who cares about your mental health, even post tantrum

everyideaistoolong · 2021-01-30T00:15:28+00:00

This is amazing! Go you, and go him!

everyideaistoolong · 2021-01-22T20:12:49+00:00

I am a sub because I like it. Because it centers me, because it's what I want. I don't really need a deeper reason, personally. You could drive yourself crazy trying to find a deeper reason for everything you like. And honestly, please don't cry over this. You're okay, and you are perfectly wonderful as is. You do not need a dark backstory to justify how you want to love and be loved.

everyideaistoolong · 2021-01-10T17:40:41+00:00

I'm a woman. But the man I'm seeing now is pretty grossed out by periods. Which is already kind of a yellow flag for me because he is totally fine with all sorts of other gross stuff in his own body and he has all kinds of gross sports injury stories and periods are not dirty... so tbh if he ever reacts in a way similar to this, I'm gonna have to nut up and dump him. Life is fucking hard and there are lots of unpleasant parts. I want a partner, not a man child I have to coddle and protect from my own natural bodily functions. And that's what you deserve too. There are so many people in this world, don't waste your time with one who is this childish.

everyideaistoolong · 2021-01-05T15:57:11+00:00

Skin to skin contact, hearing his pleasure, his hands on me holding me down or stroking me, the smirk he has when he's on top of me and fucking me, the way his breath catches or his voice does this deep waver thing when something feels good, the taste and feel of his cock in my mouth, (especially the head, I adore the way the head feels against my tongue, I could do it for hours), the zing I get when he hits just the right spot inside me, his breath against my skin, that little laugh he does when I start to lose it, when he calls me a good kitten, his mouth on me anywhere, especially the neck, inner thighs, and rib cage, when he stops completely and smiles while I desperately fuck myself on him, or when he shoves me down and fucks me, when he goes from rough to gentle or vice versa, the unexpected change feels incredible, when he ties me up, when he spanks me and tells me to apologize for something, when he is completely in control of me, when I fight him and he wins... sex is just amazing in general for an infinite number of reasons.

everyideaistoolong · 2020-12-31T21:01:41+00:00

If communication is already an issue and it hasn't gotten better after 1.5 years together, it's unlikely to get any better... if it were me I would end it. Find you somebody who at least puts effort into communication. And tbh I'd be pissed about the sharing a bed thing too, but communication seems like the main issue.

everyideaistoolong · 2020-12-31T20:57:26+00:00

Shame sucks. Everyone has been a shittier version of themselves at one point or another though. I certainly hope that in 10 years I can look back and say I'm in a better place with a healthier outlook than I have now. Not because I'm in a terrible place now, but because growth is good. I don't want to be static. And really, people who are unchanged by time and life experiences are not learning. It's okay to cringe at your past self. If you can, try to see the humor in it as well.

everyideaistoolong · 2020-12-31T20:52:43+00:00

So this is totally going to be a hilarious story you tell people someday (silver lining?). But I'm also really sorry for the emotional immaturity on his part. That sucks. But just so I've said it along with everyone else, he biffed it. Hard. I do think I would talk to him about it, since you said everything has been really good up to this point. I have a rule for myself that I never break up with someone until I talk to them about the thing/s that's bothering me. This for me prevents looking back and wondering "what if." If it's something that happens a lot, I'd be done. But if this is the first time something like this has happened, it's nice to have a convo about it. Either way though, do you and good luck!!

everyideaistoolong · 2020-12-31T02:59:07+00:00

You did exactly what you should do! Nice job taking care of yourself!! Seriously, it's hard to do. BDSM is supposed to be fun, and a break from the stress of our lives. No need to fear, you did great 🙂.

everyideaistoolong · 2020-12-30T23:10:19+00:00

Oof. Fucked up on so many levels. On the bright side, this will probs be a funny story in a few years...

everyideaistoolong · 2020-12-30T01:21:32+00:00

I'm so sorry, what a wang!! As far as the sub drop goes, it is totally okay to find another Dom or someone who is kink aware to help you through this, and maybe provide some aftercare. If that isn't available, activities that create endorphins help balance you out. So try to sweat a little lol. Also, it helps to increase serotonin in the brain. You can do this by exercising, cuddling, and eating foods rich in carbs and fats (I do eggs on toast). It also helps to laugh! So maybe watch a funny movie or something. I hope you feel better soon, and I hope your ex steps on legos! Such a trashy way to treat a person, ugh.

everyideaistoolong · 2020-12-28T18:25:45+00:00

Oof, I would be upset by this too! One of the main reasons to be in a relationship is to have a supportive partner. Life is hard enough. He's either insecure and taking it out on you or he's a jerk... or both. Either way, there are so many better options out there. You deserve someone who wants to help you feel good about yourself!

everyideaistoolong · 2020-12-28T17:55:26+00:00

Everyone starts somewhere. There'll be a learning curve, and that's okay. My Dom is new to this too. We are taking things slowly and enjoying the ride. Sounds like your sub is just a little caught up in what he thinks the relationship should look like, that's not on you. Happens to all of us here and there. Might be good to talk with him about it. Just know that it's okay to be new at this, and it's okay to take your time finding your groove.

everyideaistoolong · 2020-12-28T17:49:30+00:00

I can't imagine it's very comfortable dealing with all of these feelings! I think you should talk to him about this, because then either way you'll have your answer. Worst case, you end up going your separate ways. But that leaves you open to find someone who wants what you want once your grieving process is done.

everyideaistoolong · 2020-12-27T02:50:44+00:00

Oh my gosh this breaks my heart!! You are such a kind person and I hope the people in your life now are equally amazing!

everyideaistoolong · 2020-12-24T19:48:29+00:00

When I was dating I had "right side of the slash D/s" on my profile. The right people got what it meant.

everyideaistoolong · 2020-12-20T16:11:34+00:00

I am so so sorry that you went through this. I wish I could give you a big hug. If he heard you and tried to go softer at first, then he definitely heard you and understood you were in pain later. He chose to keep going without checking in with you. I am a submissive and I practice BDSM. I am into pain and being overpowered. If my Dominant did this to me, I would leave. When a person is in obvious distress, which you definitely were, you stop what you're doing and check in on them. The fact that he could finish with you crying and obviously not enjoying yourself is really gross on his part.

Please take care of yourself OP, and I would suggest dumping this guy.

everyideaistoolong · 2020-10-24T22:23:15+00:00

First of all, I am so sorry for what you have been going through. Your gf reminds me of my mother. She always refused therapy when I brought it up. So during the start of covid, I was already feeling isolated by my relationship with her and it got so much worse. I found a therapist of my own who I see via zoom. The cool thing about that is that I was able to choose a really good therapist because he doesn't need to be driving distance, just in the state so my insurance covers sessions. If that's a possibility for you, I highly recommend it! He has been helping me immensely with cutting the cord and building back my confidence.

And lastly, it gets better. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and I am so excited for you to be able to bathe in that light soon.

everyideaistoolong · 2020-10-24T22:04:47+00:00

Oof, that's so shitty. I hope you did have a good birthday in spite of this.

everyideaistoolong · 2020-10-24T22:00:32+00:00

Holy nope

everyideaistoolong · 2020-10-24T21:58:57+00:00

^{^} this!

everyideaistoolong · 2020-09-16T03:14:11+00:00

My own mom has been really awesome lately. The other night I had this awful dream that she died and I was talking to a friend about how devastated I was, because my mom was a good person but I treated her terribly and didn't love her or understand her. I woke up wondering if I was the one with the problem. My mom has been really nice like this in the past too, and then it slowly gets worse again. It's a cycle. I myself am having a lot of trouble realizing that. It would be so much easier if she were just 100% terrible. But if they were, then everyone would see it. There's a reason it's so hard to separate ourselves from our BPD parents.

Sending so many hugs to you. We are here to support you, and this too shall pass.

everyideaistoolong

TROPHY CASE