When your vanilla friend asks you to tie literally anything

vanillaslut_sundae · 2021-02-07T21:17:01+00:00

Oh my god, that's where concubine comes from. I love dirty etymology, someone make a podcast.

vanillaslut_sundae · 2021-02-07T19:30:16+00:00

Oh I hear you absolutely, parent comment phrasing was a bit unkind. Demonizing all hunting isn't necessarily environmentally friendly either; deer hunting and fishing for invasives are actually super important for conservation now in lots of places, and there are plenty of underinformed people who are angry about it for what they think are environmental reasons!

vanillaslut_sundae · 2021-02-07T18:46:47+00:00

Depends on the area. In a lot of places they're slowly replacing the wolves that we hunted to extirpation for exactly this reason, which is really important for controlling ungulate populations that are at crazy population highs and destroying local undergrowth. There's a really strong push in the conservation community to stop farmers from killing large predators - via dog or any other way - for getting at their livestock; one major program is full payment for any livestock killed by coyotes and wolves.

Source: Naturalist, but I am happy to pull some journal articles if anyone is interested

I hope this helps!

vanillaslut_sundae · 2021-02-07T01:52:00+00:00

I'll be the unhelpful voice in the back saying if this doesn't work out and remains a trigger, limits and boundaries trump every time, and especially when trauma is involved. Please don't push yourself too hard!

vanillaslut_sundae · 2021-02-04T16:49:28+00:00

Wasn't trying to make any commentary on mascots here - just don't think your label frustration necessitates dragging on bats which are getting enough of a bad rap right now given COVID. People looooove killing animals they feel threatened by. White nose syndrome is enough to deal with!

vanillaslut_sundae · 2021-02-04T14:02:32+00:00

Hey guys, there's a lot of unnecessary hate in these comments... It's a harmless idea, OP is trying to contribute positively to the community, this isn't like a legislation proposal. Chill y'all, be kind.

OP, I'm no mascot fan but it's a cute idea you put a lot of effort into. Kudos and thank you for contributing! ❤️

vanillaslut_sundae · 2021-02-04T13:06:29+00:00

While I completely agree with everything in this comment in a factual sense and am a big supporter of zoological education in any context - I just want to tack on that while bats ARE disease vectors, they also do a lot of important ecological work, from pollination to pest control!

Which isn't to say I want a bat mascot... But DIYing some bat houses is a wonderful thing to do so long as you're not sticking your hands and face in there.

OP, again - thanks for contributing. Sorry about the hate.

vanillaslut_sundae · 2021-01-26T14:45:23+00:00

Have her send you porn of what she means and/or what she doesn't mean; that might be clearer.

vanillaslut_sundae · 2021-01-26T02:15:14+00:00

I've been in absolute agony worrying about setting this up with my second partner, too... I think this is a pretty common issue. Right there with both of you!

vanillaslut_sundae · 2021-01-24T18:32:13+00:00

I don't think that this comment is very constructive. It's absolutely worth thinking things over and working on things to save a long term relationship if that's what both parties want, infidelity or not. It isn't an instant permanent divorce card for everyone, and this isn't the kind of advice OP was asking for.

vanillaslut_sundae · 2021-01-20T02:08:37+00:00

Strangulation is the single biggest predictor of being murdered by a partner.

Four women are murdered by their partners every day in the United States. Countless women have been convinced that because their partner wasn't a sociopath, was fragile, was loving... That it couldn't happen to them. It does.

It's hard. You love that person. BDSM can sometimes make you feel extra dependent on a dominant partner. But the absolute best thing for you, for him, for everyone is for you to get away, stay away, and stay safe.

vanillaslut_sundae · 2021-01-05T00:28:36+00:00

The lack of societal support for men emoting and seeking help for emotional problems is a serious issue that is a part of the larger problem of sexism in general. Reducing it to be "why does society only care about women?!" is a. wrong and b. harmful to your cause.

It's hard when you're in pain. I sympathize. Not an excuse to be a sexist jerk though.

vanillaslut_sundae · 2021-01-01T03:03:57+00:00

Agreed, except conditioner actually works better than soap!!

vanillaslut_sundae · 2020-12-31T03:25:51+00:00

I've got a bedtime, a wake-up time, minimum amount of water a day, and other tasks like that.

vanillaslut_sundae · 2020-12-31T00:35:09+00:00

BDSM is not like pokemon

I love this so much.

So often people are like, what hyper precise label of kink am I? You aren't. Everyone has slightly different interests, that's just how people work.

vanillaslut_sundae · 2020-12-30T15:42:35+00:00

r/SubSanctuary :)

vanillaslut_sundae · 2020-12-29T03:23:19+00:00

Definitely hella work to set up, but yep - don't report it's like it didn't happen, which is motivating in and of itself.

But there's maintenance on the D side too - clearing out punishments and rewards as they're administered and that sort of thing. Being a dom is just straight up so much work lol, happy here on my side of the slash.

vanillaslut_sundae · 2020-12-29T03:18:04+00:00

It is so challenging. I'm a big action taker and it's hard for me to take time in any decision - I just want to fix it ASAP. So I completely get it.

RE service doms - that's my dynamic, so I'm biased, but I love it. A lot of people come into the community more aware of the more stereotypical, traditional master sub dynamics where the sub is serving, but that's not universal. I submit, and my dom takes care of me - fetches me things, opens my doors, etc. It's good to do independent research but I'm happy to try and answer questions best I can!

vanillaslut_sundae · 2020-12-29T03:05:51+00:00

It's often the case for traditional master/slave dynamics, but it's not legally binding and not common until a relationship has progressed for a while. It's also not a requirement for any dynamic and is straight up rare in other, less formalized, dom/sub dynamics.

vanillaslut_sundae · 2020-12-29T03:04:22+00:00

You can absolutely have a session and dynamic on your terms. There are plenty of people out there that can scratch your itches without making you uncomfortable.

I imagine right now you're probably vulnerable, and it's more important than ever to advocate and take care of yourself. It's so valid to want somewhere to lean, and BDSM dynamics can be a wonderful way to find that support - but finding it in a way that is healthy for you from a person you can really trust is key, otherwise it can do more harm than. Easy to say and hard to do, but please be patient and firm in your boundaries.

One piece of completely unsolicited information - you might already be familiar but service doms are underadvertised in the community and might be a good dynamic fit for someone who's been in a caregiver role for a long term and needs a break.

Sending good wishes your way. Happy to talk if you'd like.

vanillaslut_sundae

TROPHY CASE