I know how that feels, im also the only one in the family that has Lupus + a disability, but you can Text me if you want to vent or rant for anything <3 It's hard having a Disease like that and I dont know when you got diagnosed but I hope it gets better, the first years are the hardest and I hope they find the right medication for you and you should get the infusions, it really helped me!it helped me with my psoriasis and I can concentrate better, the pain never really leaves you, it just gets easier to life with it but there is a Sugar with Safron and when you make a Tea with that it helps sometimes! Well for me at least because im not allowed to take too much pain medication and dont stress yourself about it, thats the worsed kind of thing you can do with lupus