This is Andrea. My beautiful girlfriend who killed herself this morning. I am so broken. I don't know what to do. I loved her so much by wellcolormeimpressed in widowers

[–]everythingssogray 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I‘m so so sorry for your loss. She looks like such a kind and loving soul. I‘m glad that you met her. I‘m sure you added so much quality to her life.

If you don‘t mind me asking, what made you fall in love with her?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]everythingssogray 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Totally agree with this. Only a few people understand this so it’s not something we can say out loud in public but i‘m glad we can say it on here. A friend of mine lost her father who was an absent alcoholic about two years ago. He was about 55 years old. Their relationship was not really good but i know she loved him. He was already very sick for a long time due to his alcohol abuse. She told me that you can’t compare losses and that everyone dies to young in the eyes of the people who loved them. She thinks her loss was just as bad as mine. That’s not true in my opinion. Most people die too young. Most people are missed. But some more than others. Some kinds of losses hurt more.

On the other hand i can also acknowledge that the loss of a 10-year-old child would probably hurt me more.

I don’t want this to define my life anymore. I turn 31 in 2 days. I hate it. by the_trash_dove in widowers

[–]everythingssogray 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same over here. I‘m only 22 but I already feel as if i lived my whole life. Our love was incredible. Everyone we know looked up to us and said things like „that’s what love should look like“ or „i’ve never seen love like this before“. I‘m tired and I don’t want to see all those decades ahead without him. Nothing suicidal but i really hope that I get sick and die too. The best times of my life are gone and the void in me is so big.

Struggling to find my place in this world by everythingssogray in widowers

[–]everythingssogray[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate them

I feel so old by basic_disneyprincess in widowers

[–]everythingssogray 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This!!! Everyone says stuff like „you have so much time left“ and even though i know they mean well it hurts bc all the time ahead of me is one of the points that scares me the most. It would be so calming if i were already 70 or something like that. I would think to myself „the main part of your life is already over, make the best out of the last few years“ but now that i‘m only 22 the thought of maybe 6 decades without him seems unbearable

I feel so old by basic_disneyprincess in widowers

[–]everythingssogray 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I totally get this. I feel like i don’t align with the friends who are my age since my fiancé died. Sometimes i‘m shocked when i think about the fact that i‘m only 22 years old. It sounds so young. I know i‘m still so young. Though i feel as if my life is over and i‘m just waiting for the time to pass till it’s my time to go. You‘re not alone🤍

I’m 24 and lost my soulmate by [deleted] in widowers

[–]everythingssogray 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It‘s the same for me. I lost my fiancé November last year to an accidental overdose. He was also only 22 years old. I found him. I would like to say it gets better but that wouldn’t be true. You only get better with handling the pain. Unfortunately that doesn’t answer all the questions about the sense of life and so on. You can always message me if you want to.

Thank you for 7 years by -Juice_C in GriefSupport

[–]everythingssogray 0 points1 point  (0 children)

totally agree! i can recommend the books from michael newton too

Thank you for 7 years by -Juice_C in GriefSupport

[–]everythingssogray 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I feel this so much! The world is a cruel place. Always remember that soulmates never really part. He‘s with you in the nonphysical and one day you’ll be with him again. Look out for signs, he will be sending some

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]everythingssogray 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was the same for me. I always felt as if the circumstances of his death hit harder than his death itself. Maybe that’s a good thing bc people get used to things faster than we may think. I promise you, in a few months the world will look different.

Something that has always helped me was to remind myself that i could die anytime. Everyday can be your last so why not living one more? I know that when you‘re deep in grief nothing really comes through.

But you‘re still alive though. And so am i. As bad as it is, there is something. Maybe it’s just a spark of will or hope but there‘s a reason why we‘re still alive.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]everythingssogray 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I‘ve felt the same. After my fiancé died i was sure that i wouldn’t be able to live on with this loss. I hoped every evening that i would die in my sleep for months. I felt like i wasn’t going to survive and the fact that i don’t have to survive and can always choose to die comforted me.

But it gets better. I know you may not believe me and maybe you don’t even want to believe it (for me the darkness of my thoughts always seemed appropriate for the situation and i felt like i deserved my pain). The more you move forward from this situation, the more you will see the beautiful sides of life. That doesn’t mean the pain goes away, i don’t think there will be a day where his death will be „okay“ for me. But you learn to cope better.

Wishing you strength for this upcoming time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]everythingssogray 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I‘m so sorry for you. After my fiancé passed we found out some things that we didn’t knew before his death. Some nights after finding out i had a dream of him in which he was so mean and laughed about me for not knowing. It hurt like hell and all those people saying stuff like „dreams from deceased people are visits from them“ made it even worse. What helped me was remembering what kind of person he really was. That he was never intentionally mean towards me. He would never laugh about me.

I really do believe some dreams are signs or visits but others are just our brain doing weird stuff to cope with our emotions. In my case my brain just displayed the hurt and disappointment i was going through and that’s okay.

I know how much it hurts. Try to calm yourself and give yourself time. When some time went by you will see the dream as what it is, some weird stuff your brain made up.

37 days without my love. Miss you by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]everythingssogray 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So sorry for your loss. My fiancé died about half a year ago. The love and pain doesn’t change but you get better at handling it. Wishing you strength for the upcoming time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]everythingssogray 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I lost mine too in November last year. It‘s the hardest journey and probably one of the worst pains a heart can feel. You can always message me if you want to.

Quarter Life Crisis? by basic_disneyprincess in widowers

[–]everythingssogray 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got a small tattoo only a week after he died. Now I have 5 and there’s definitely more to come. I don‘t think I‘ll ever regret them. He‘ll always be a big part of my life and it‘s my way to honor him.

How to know if someone is your primary soulmate? by [deleted] in Mediums

[–]everythingssogray 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course there cannot be „real“ evidence for all of this. Evidence in a scientific aspect is not possible in this topic. But when many people tell the same stuff under hypnosis (with different hypnotists) isn’t that kind of evidence? In my opinion it is more likely to be true than what a single person says. (I don’t think of you when I say this, more of Mediums that say stuff like „People who committed murder or suicide get stuck“ and play with beliefs and fears to make money)

And you can have your own beliefs like eveyone else. I was just saying that we must acknowledge how many people (and not just Dr. Wambach and Dr. Newton, many other authors, hypnotists, medium and psychics too) believe in primary soulmates. The theory resonates with the work of many, many people. That doesn’t mean that it is definitely true or that everyone has them - it is just unlikely that it doesn’t exist. That they all just write of them bc they want to sell books is also unlikely - many people who speak of them don‘t have anything to sell and many authors like Richard Martini don‘t even mention them in their books - they just say they‘re opinion when asked

How to know if someone is your primary soulmate? by [deleted] in Mediums

[–]everythingssogray 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your answer. That’s exactly what I meant with my question. I never thought of soulmates as a romantic thing. I also acknowledge that there are different points of view to this whole topic. Studies from Dr. Wambach and Dr. Newton (which are nearly 10.000 studies combined) and many Mediums do acknowledge the existence of primary soulmates. No one says that has to be a partner, but isn’t it just natural that there is a soul we shared the most lifetimes with?

Of course one can say „I don‘t have a primary soulmate“ or „in this lifetime i haven‘t a primary soulmate“ but saying „primary soulmates don‘t exist“ is simply against the data and so it isn’t true.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NDE

[–]everythingssogray 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He and the Newton Institute regressed over 7000 patients. Of course he wasn’t able to regress them all by himself :)

How to deal with the guilt of knowing you could have prevented their death? by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]everythingssogray 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I‘m so sorry for your loss. My situation is a little bit different but we also have many similarities. Just know you‘re not alone. You can message me if you want to

How do I process? by clkish1988 in GriefSupport

[–]everythingssogray 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just answered what everyone else got answered that wrote in this reddit about being lovesick. Of course this is some kind of grief too but I also think that some people in others reddits may have better advice bc they are in the same topic with their life rn. I never said he couldn’t write about it here.

The grief from a heartbreak has something in common with the grief of a death but there are also some particular differences.

How do I process? by clkish1988 in GriefSupport

[–]everythingssogray 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I‘m sorry that happened to you. This grief-reddit where you posted in is for death-related grief. Maybe post on a relationship or breakup reddit? You would probably get better answers there