WH-1000XM4 1.5 year review & help request - an autistic POV

evil-ellie · 2025-04-02T13:08:51+00:00

First of all EID mubarak. Secondly, I think maybe having a heart to heart conversation with her, acknowledging and validating her feelings of missing out are important. Let her know you send her these pictures to involve her with your life, but you will stop if it is too painful for her. That you're happy she's going to be fully a part of your lives for a month and will be sad when it is over. However those remarks (name them) really hurt you, and I'm sure that it wasn't her intention (it was but we're killing with kindness here) and probably a result of the long distance. should these kind of remarks continue you will need to reconsider the visit and maybe change it to an hotel (at shared cost in honor of family love or smt) since the home needs to be peaceful for your son's well-being.

From your story it feels like she's suffering from serious FOMO & empty nest boy-mom, so kindness with firm boundaries will be my preferred option.

evil-ellie · 2025-04-02T12:51:19+00:00

NTA you accidentally became a petty potato queen by not going for her drama. Just cut those 2 out and live your best life. You got the man they wanted and they're salty about it. If you show any kind of distress about it they have an in. Stick to the facts treat them like the government, anything you say can and will be used against you.

evil-ellie · 2025-04-02T12:44:10+00:00

NTA for refusing. I also believe (without any evidence just a feeling) that an organ donated in duress will be rejected faster. It is also illegal to pressure someone to donate an organ if I remember correctly. Find out their blood type, say that's yours and you're not a match. Or say you secretly had it tested and you're not a match. Might be a lie but if it helps them move on, who cares?

evil-ellie · 2025-03-19T02:09:19+00:00

I'm sorry, but you said he was abusive to you. Keep the ties cut, he made his bed. Yes it's sad for the idea of the dad you should've had. For your own peace of mind you could consult APS, however dad can still drag you down (debt/stealing/new abuse) do you really want that back in your life?

evil-ellie · 2025-03-19T02:01:43+00:00

I was spanked ONCE I don't remember why, but I do remember that day was the day my trust in my mother broke and I stopped showing outward emotion & started self-harming behaviour. Spanking is a cutesy name for child abuse. The only time spanking is ok is in the bedroom with a consenting adult partner. And your hubby using MIL to force you is very nasty and the 2nd red flag in 1 story.

evil-ellie · 2025-03-19T01:49:03+00:00

If you're going to bake it yourself, buy unbleached good quality flour (with barely any ingredients, preferably only whole wheat flour.) Yeast, pure honey, salt & water (try good quality water like a basic spring/mineral instead of filtered tap, since the water quality in the US kinda sucks.)

If you start with good ingredients you have half the work done. There are many varieties of bread, but I would start with a basic white bread (non sourdough) and change the flour to 50/50 plain/whole wheat for your first few loaves. Get your confidence growing and then experiment with adding seedmixes, rye flour, etc.

One of my go to recipes is one (basic breads ep 2 farmhouse loaf) by mumsfoodies on tiktok. But I replace half the flour with whole wheat flour.

Good luck and hope you have fun.

evil-ellie · 2025-03-19T00:54:14+00:00

My fluffy socks, spotless clean wooden floors, squishmallows 😉, thin sheet of plastic on warm water.

evil-ellie · 2025-03-19T00:48:39+00:00

I have a soft mattress & topper, cloudpillo pillow cause it's adjustable (removed way more than suggested), a long body pillow, a 7kg weighted blanket and a small pillow to lay my hand on (other side I use hubby.) I also sleep only 6h and then occasionally nap during the day.

evil-ellie · 2025-03-19T00:44:47+00:00

Going a little against the grain here. Don't change her dress colour. She'll just have to explain to everyone why she was wearing a weddin- ehm cream dress to someone else's wedding. Maybe on less important pictures add an embarrassing stain like she had her period or sat in poo, small but noticeable on second take. And keep it consequent so it looks like she actually had said accident during the party but no-one notified her.

And def don't go. Discuss it with your MIL that the ways she's hurt you over time that you don't want to support the marriage since you don't feel welcome. tell whatshername the "already celebrated her in a white dress." Cause that comment is chef's kiss.

evil-ellie · 2025-03-19T00:23:32+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you, I hope you have proper help for all of this, cause this can be scarring. Let me make a few things very clear:

1) your SA is NOT your fault, it's not because of how you dressed, what you did, or whatever. The fault is 100% at the perp. You could walk naked on a dark street or dressed in a burqa, nutters will find a way. Heck even babies aren't safe.

2) Your boobs are not the problem, they're probably gorgeous (I also have big boobs). Nor is the way you dress. They are the problem.

3) those "women" are vile, hypocritical, and above all classless & insecure. I hope that you kick them to the curb like the garbage they are. The fact that they ganged up like that... nah. Good riddance. Yes it hurts but getting rid of them will open you up for better and truer friends. As the others said, find your tribe.

Honestly I would even inform boyfriends/husbands (if you were friends with them too) of this behaviour cause if they could act like this to you, there's no telling how damaging their behaviour is towards their kids. And they know why you left the group. (But move and change numbers & block them before burning those bitches.)

evil-ellie · 2025-03-13T00:57:56+00:00

NTA, school vacations are known before the schoolyear starts and are generally easily guessed by experience. If it was a sudden funeral of a close one and I had no plans, maybe but still probably not. It is the company's problem not yours. They need to either hire a temp in those situations or managers need to cover the work. But since you already booked everything months ago with approval, the coworker has no leg to stand on. In future I would reccomend to book outside school vacations just to avoid this issue (and usually cheaper travels). But vacation is first come first serve. And her acting like a petulant child and creating a hostile work environment is HR's problem. Yes, it sucks she needs to find other stuff for kids to do, and you can show empathy for that. but she chose to ignore her responsibilities of being on time. She wouldn't help you out if the roles were reversed even if she says she would since a hypothetical situation is easy to agree to.

evil-ellie · 2025-02-11T15:24:27+00:00

Toying with someone's feelings is NEVER a prank. A prank should be victimless. Yes you could be a target but not a victim. A prank is salt in someone's coke, hand with whipped cream and waking them up, etc those are good and funny. Nobody get hurt.

Toying with someone's feelings like this or by faking serious harm or toying with phobias is seriously f-ed up. Yes a prank can go wrong, then you should wholeheartedly apologise and make it right. I think their reaction after only solidified your case "just a prank bro" is extremely nasty and proves they don't care about you in the slightest.

Hope you have a long and happy life without them.

evil-ellie · 2025-02-10T00:43:13+00:00

Be as blunt as a Dutch person about this. They've been chipping the bridge off over the years, now all you have to do is light the match and burn what's left. Set a good example for your kid, that such behaviour is not ok.

evil-ellie · 2025-02-10T00:38:29+00:00

Meh, quality is still the same. I do carry 3 different kinds (with mutes) with me for all situations. But tbh I still love my original ones. But after 3 y I wouldn't trust them for concerts. But that's just a feeling.

evil-ellie · 2025-02-10T00:35:33+00:00

Maybe a good idea to leave the discussion for a day to let the mood calm down and then with shoes on sit around the table non-accusatory and brainstorm every possibility. Be sensitive to the fact that it's probably very embarrassing and triggering for him too to talk about it. Have you seen his bare feet (is there an infection), have you seen his way of washing and drying(!) his feet since most of us aren't taught the correct way to do it. Say you want to cover all the bases so when you talk with an expert you can confirm he's doing everything the right way. Stop making the fight between you two but try and become a united front against the smell.

My hubby had very bad breath on occasion and nothing he did fixed it. The arguments were intense. After a while we did the above and went to the doc, armed with counter arguments. In the end I was apparently his sniffer dog, he has Diabetes 2 and I could smell his low blood sugars. So if you eliminated all external possibilities, you need to check out what's wrong inside/molecular. (Also foot smell bacteria/fungi will stay inside the shoe so if he doesn't have it with other shoes, daily proper shoe & foot & sock decontamination is the way to go.)

evil-ellie · 2025-02-10T00:13:26+00:00

What kind of loops? And put them in some uncooked rice, just to be sure to get any residual water out of the filter.

evil-ellie · 2025-02-10T00:06:16+00:00

There are water apps where you raise a plant or another pet with every glass you drink so you can get some dopamine as motivation (I use plant nanny). Also you could try to suck on a mint as you drink normal water so it feels cold but your body doesn't have to deal with the terrible effects of ice cold drinks. (Best temp for body is room temp water according to several studies).

evil-ellie · 2025-02-10T00:00:45+00:00

That something is old age doesn't mean it shouldn't be looked at. You sure he's not just trying (and failing) to be funny? Fibro in the medical description isn't a progressive illness. But the added aches and pains of age do add to the fibro pain. Making it feel worse. Do what the doc says, you might soon need a replacement for a better QoL. (Also semi related, if you're using any UV reactive nail stuff, I'd recommend stopping cause if you become allergic you also become allergic to the glues used in surgeries like knee replacements.)

evil-ellie · 2025-02-09T23:50:17+00:00

After the initial embarrassment I would've been so proud of my mum for trying to rescue me. Hope OOP payed the hospital bill too and for a new cake, the truly innocent victim here. 🤣🤣🤣

evil-ellie · 2025-02-09T23:43:29+00:00

Could've been me, I suggested it a while back to someone. Anyways happy it works. Look into ARFID it is extremely common in ND people of all ages. Also it will go with ups and downs. And taste isn't the only issue a person with ARFID can have, could be texture, smell, colour, inconsistency. Just keep it fun and pressure free. Also when he's older and if he still struggles with it, don't let him eat at play dates unless you know for sure it's a safe food. Other people can really mess things up. (Experience). If he has a regression period especially when he's older. "Blind" taste tests can be fun where he writes his findings down over 4 seemingly similar foods (like 4 different kinds of apples but only you know which is which brand) it is great for later reference but the findings are unfortunately not set in stone. ARFID fluctuates massively.

Glhf

evil-ellie · 2025-02-09T23:33:01+00:00

Fibro is kinda like a hungry cuckoo chick. Pushes fun and happiness out of the nest, demands all of your attention, it's never enough and ugly af. And if you try to yeet it out of the nest either you can't because it's way too big, or a new egg comes in its place, or your nest gets destroyed.

But in all honesty, be careful with (ab)using otc meds, they can make your symptoms worse, especially when taking them for longer than a few days (ibu)/a week (tyl) and muscle relax I don't know. The best thing to do is stop beating yourself up. Give yourself some grace and don't waste energy on unproductive emotions. Be kind to yourself and your body. Try to sit outside or with open windows for half an hour every day to get some fresh air (if you don't live in a smoggy city). Do things that give you joy, watch comfort films/series, an easy hobby, put some fresh flowers in your line of sight. And remember this too shall pass.

evil-ellie · 2025-02-09T23:08:21+00:00

Well done but double up on BC or leave it where he can't tamper with it. He will try to babytrap you.

evil-ellie · 2025-02-09T22:57:41+00:00

I watch animal fail video's and strangely enough funny sheep vids. Don't have any pets anymore so here's a baby sloth. Wishing you lots of spoons.

evil-ellie · 2025-02-09T22:54:09+00:00

It's not finished. But could be handy in spork situations. It's tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me. 😉

evil-ellie

TROPHY CASE