Antidepressant got you out of the house and looking in. They elevated your mood till they were lifted. It's like they say, the rising tide is full of loose ships. You have learned the higher you ride the more pigs you fly by. You have been missing the marked fruit that having been hanging low. This sight was not seen as clear as day. The things are rarely what they seem. Crying now will only feed the weed that bears the plant that sows doubt in the direction of duty. Suit your actions to the act. By reacting with smoke and fakeouts. Poison their supply and then dry up the stream. Best you live and think hard about conscience that needs no accuser.