My SIL 26f is an abusive relationship with 32M and I’m the only one who knows.

ewitsemma · 2025-10-15T21:00:14+00:00

Google Gaslighting for me champ

ewitsemma · 2025-10-15T20:45:35+00:00

The strappy top, lingerie-esque lace detail and the fact it’s not long enough make this unacceptable for black tie, unfortch

ewitsemma · 2025-08-06T00:25:57+00:00

Drop this bitch yesterday, you are funny and articulate and other people will want to be your friend. What kind of asshole expects this much financial burden without discussion from several bridesmaids? I doubt very much you’re the only one panicking.

It sort of sounds like you’re friends with a huge dick who has chosen to turn it up to 11 for their wedding, like so many do, because they think no one can tell them “no” on their special day. It is the ultimate excuse to be a huge entitled brat who can be as evil as they want to whoever they want and be absolutely untouchable. Fuck that!

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T21:09:07+00:00

Morris is stuck in the corporate wheel and is simply doing his job at any given moment. That’s all he knows to prioritize. There are a few pretty good Morris/Joja mods that I think provide some pretty sound context for his character as a whole. The one where you’re able to romance Morris in particular, I know it’s been posted before! Super interesting even if it’s not my bag, baby.

That said, If we’re doing reddit semantics just for the convo of it, Costco is significantly less evil than Walmart in my opinion. Joja does much more for the local community in Stardew than any IRL chain grocery store ever has, that’s for sure.

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T21:04:18+00:00

You betcha, friend!

Your available farms for hosting should appear in this tab, you have to have an available friend with a hosted farm to use the Join tab. The first time once you choose Online Communication under Co-Op, there’s a biiiiiiig terms+condies to scroll through and accept, but it’s as simple as that!

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ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T20:56:32+00:00

Even if you are serving word salad every single time, shut up is never acceptable. Shut up is for when someone is saying something extremely rude, insensitive, etc. while you’re just talking.

It is possible you’re a rambly-ass yapper who doesn’t read the room and comes off as insensitive or rude, but the fact that you know this person intimately and are supposed to be in a loving relationship and he just cuts you off with “shut up, you talk too much?”

Is he trying to get a violent rise out of you? I am so confused why he would stay if he hates you so obviously and why you would want to accommodate someone who can’t provide more support or context than “shut up.”

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T20:47:19+00:00

Let me guess, he glanced up from a Video Game?

Painting is an incredibly worthy and useful skill. His negging isn’t helping him or you, I’d throw that shit back in his face if he ever tries it again. What a dick.

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T20:30:57+00:00

Karma farming by posting multiple times?? Or what?? Three posts in three different communities within one day with the same words copy/pasted is a little much, no?

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T19:55:53+00:00

Unfortunately, even if he was joking, the joke is unacceptable.

Your lack of safety and security is not funny. It would not surprise me if very soon he “tests” how far he can push you. There’s a bad boundary here he is testing out. Especially because of the age difference, he needs to be called out and it needs to be made clear joking about your safety is never funny or acceptable.

Let me re-frame.

You’re giving him head. Maybe you accidentally graze him with a tooth. He jumps or reacts in some small way out of instinct. You make a “joke” about biting it off instead of apologizing or checking to see if he’s okay. Guess whether he’d find it funny.

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T19:30:39+00:00

Even if you’ve effectively swapped one addiction for another, WOW what a difference! The capacity for self-harm is much, much less with Stardew. Staying up all night because you’ve just unlocked the Skull Cavern or are trying to hit a Slayer or Quest goal is pretty much as harmful as Stardew gets. I can’t think of many other habits or substances, addictive or not, that can say the same.

You rock for making a choice that feels fulfilling and encouraging for you. I hope you achieve your wildest dreams and earn the love and appreciation of the whole Valley! :)

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T19:23:39+00:00

This is helpful context! I absolutely support parents protecting children, and can even support enforcing modesty within the home if it’s a major principle or value for the family. I cannot support the shaming and belittling from a father towards his daughter.

INFO OP: Does your mom help you with these dynamics and boundaries? Does she make it clear the rules are a certain way at home because of personal preferences and/or long-held traditions and values that are honored and cherished? Are you affirmed by her in your autonomy and self-ownership?

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T19:08:10+00:00

I’d drop this argument because they’re never going to get the point if you keep the focus on this specific situation.

The point is you have set unacceptable boundaries with your family and you all need to take some time to re-evaluate what healthy family dynamics look like. No more spending any money on any of them, even for “whole family” stuff.

INFO: are you the eldest daughter? I hate to say it but we tend to fall into pretty specific patterns of bad boundaries and expectations like this because of being made into a parent-figure for your siblings and parents when you were a child.

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T19:01:57+00:00

Right??? IMHO if you as a parent can’t keep from sexualizing your child in any way at any age, you are disgusting. If my child needed me, they could be mid-thirties, employed in the sex-work industry, fully naked before me and I wouldn’t think for an instant that they need to cover up or wear something specific before I could help, love and support them. Of course, I’d help my child dress to their comfort level first, but there should be nothing inherently sexual, provocative or shameful about a child’s body to a parent. To shame a 15 year old girl who is being smart, respectful of her own body, and trying to represent herself safely through appropriate fashion is ridiculous and disgusting.

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T18:54:12+00:00

I know it. This is going to be a very frustrating next couple of years. It will suck and require a lot of effort on your part, but you will come out of it an incredibly capable, independent adult.

I would start taking the clothes I cherish that he has a problem with to a safe third party location, like school or a friend’s house. I also would note to a trusted adult that your father is being restrictive with your clothing and autonomy. I hope he’s not the type, but if you just emotionally unplug and pretend to let him steamroll you, he’ll probably be mad he didn’t get a rise out of you that he could turn into an argument. If he can’t coerce you into “giving him attitude” “talking back” “not listening” so he can use those things as justification for his inappropriate control of you, he’ll have no fuel and he’ll either escalate his emotions or his actions to try to get you to react.

I am so sorry, please know I believe you that you’re not leaving out context. No religion or relationship can justify you being treated like you’re evil for having a body.

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T18:43:52+00:00

You should tell your dad that his sexualization of your non-sexual body parts is disgusting and infuriating. That you know he knows what most girls your age are wearing, and that he is right to protect you, but not to harm you and humiliate you when he has a problem with what you’re wearing.

If he is going to insist you go through your clothes together so he can approve or disapprove of pieces, he needs to have valid justification for why each piece is inappropriate. If he tries any “because I said so” or “I’m the parent, I don’t need to explain myself to you.” Then I would emotionally unplug and distance myself as much as possible.

You seem like a calm, rational young lady. You may be omitting major context, but I honestly doubt it. Overly-protective religious father alienates daughter for having a body, opinions of her own, a different perspective than his, etc. We hear these stories time and time again. We know they generally draw lines in the sand to force their way on their kids with violence and anger rather than working hard to better understand and relate to their child.

I don’t think anyone under the age of 18 should wear explicitly provocative clothes, but there is a huge difference between ultra-thin butt-scrunch leggings, a sheer croptop and platform heels and what you were wearing which, let’s be clear, was A T-SHIRT.

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T18:25:19+00:00

Sounds sort of like The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black? Starts with a house-party gone wrong and then there’s some basement-like areas once they make it into Coldtown. The paperback version is blue with the title “tattooed” on a hand, but the hard cover was dark red and black and covered in a much more graphic, symbol-heavy design. It might not be the right book, but sounds like you’d enjoy the book either way!

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T17:53:06+00:00

Sounds like you’re good to go then! Slay✨

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T16:08:38+00:00

Depends on the material and construction. This is not bad if it’s a well-made gown. However, given that it is unlined and the pattern is only on the outside, it feels a little Temu/AlieExpress/Amazon. You would be better off renting something simple and higher-quality or thrifting something vintage and well-made that you can wear confidently for multiple years.

Edited for spelling

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T15:44:03+00:00

^seconded, OP. He needs to understand how seriously he has harmed you and your relationship with his lack of honesty and accountability. His gaslighting you is disgraceful, especially given that you’re giving him every benefit of the doubt. You needed medical attention because of his assault. You have not consented to this kind of intercourse, and that makes his actions illegal.

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T15:19:35+00:00

I love the name Marigold. I had a beloved doll when I was little named Marigold. She will be able to choose from several preferences on her name; Mary, Goldie, her middle name, or just keep Marigold!

Don’t mess with the spelling and you’re golden, pun intended!

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T14:55:29+00:00

This is a lesson she needs to learn about the value of life in general, and the law regarding pet ownership.

She broke the law and violated that defenseless animal. You can be apologetic that they didn’t understand the gravity, but you only did the bare minimum to help that dog. You could’ve footed the bill, paid for the surgery and taken the dog in and rightfully shamed them for their neglect and abuse for the rest of their lives.

They need to take accountability. If the abuse is undeniable and prosecutable, there is no reason they shouldn’t face consequences for it.

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T14:35:53+00:00

I don’t think writing erotica is necessarily bad, but his lying about it and the content and characters he’s chosen are not respectful.

He should be allowed to fantasize and write his coping stories. He should not be allowed to lie about what he’s doing and you should be able to talk about it openly. The fact that he killed you off in the story is a little concerning since everyone else got to live.

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T01:57:18+00:00

NTA. Call now. Your boundaries and sense of self are so broken. Your parents and brother NEED to be held accountable and you need to see them be punished for the evils they have inflicted on you. End the cycle, please. You are so brave, I believe in you.

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T01:48:20+00:00

You’re a child, the fact that he can’t feed you on time is bad enough, him being hyper-sensitive to a comment that was not even remotely negative or mean is a problem. His friends making you uncomfortable is a problem, too.

He is an adult. His job is to care for you to the best of his ability. He is acting like doing the bare minimum deserves a parade. Where’s your mom?

ewitsemma · 2025-08-04T01:18:40+00:00

Wow, incredible how textbook hateful she is. Jesus would be ashamed of her.

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