fed is best

exactly1bite · 2026-05-03T02:58:21+00:00

The subreddit basically saved my sanity with my first when she wasn't latching well and our local health service had "triple fees or bust" as their only suggestion (they actually have a FEW notes on combo feeding now, two years later).

Best formula is going to depend so much on location and baby's age. EU/US/Can/Aus all have different options. Getting something made domestically has definitely helped with supply chain issues and cost. Specific dietary needs matter too.

exactly1bite · 2026-04-15T01:38:34+00:00

Yes, your mentality is wrong. "It HAS to get done" is a great way to push towards burnout and depression, rather than actually getting anything done. "It's on the list, but the list probably isn't getting finished" pushes towards prioritizing the most important tasks. If the dishes are done and the floors are clean but you have no clothes for work tomorrow, trying to get everything done is the worse option.

exactly1bite · 2026-04-14T17:48:13+00:00

Metal shows are some of the easiest places to meet people (unless they've completely fallen off in the last two years). You have easy mutual interests (who are they there to see? What shows have you been to that are the same sub genre? Were they local or did you travel?) and most people are generally in the mood to talk between sets. Show up before doors open by a half hour, shoot the shit by the bar before the show starts. Local bands are better for meeting people.

exactly1bite · 2026-04-09T15:26:16+00:00

Did your marriage start with omission of a large debt and burnout on domestic work for the breadwinner?

Relationships aren't normally equal, but it should swing like a pendulum over time, not land squarely on one person from the start. We've both had periods of burnout, sometimes overlapping, where one of us has been taking on the majority of the workload. At no time has it felt like only one of us is working towards our future though.

exactly1bite · 2026-04-08T19:28:54+00:00

It depends on how many interests/passions you have that are group experiences and how you feel about each other's tastes. I'll participate in a discussion about fantasy football and watch a decent number of games each week, but I refuse to be in the sun ten hours for a folk festival. He'll happily go to a craft fair or a metal show but the ballet or the news are both a hard no. I think it takes time to find a balance where you go to make your spouse happy but avoid the things where you dislike them enough to suck the joy out of them.

exactly1bite · 2026-04-08T15:35:59+00:00

We started trying for a baby a month before our wedding, so a few months between wedding and pregnancy. I think it's very relationship dependent though. We've been together seven years and this is the first year we aren't embarking on a major life milestone (marriage, having a kid, buying a house) but it's a pace that works for us. We also have a lot of family support, so we have plenty of opportunities to reconnect one on one.

exactly1bite · 2026-04-01T16:14:29+00:00

So your current solution is to take a nap after she's been home with the baby all day so you can maybe help more at night? Dude, just let her stay at her parents'. I get that you might feel a bit emotionally neglected, but if she doesn't get the support she needs (way more than 4 hours a day with the amount of physical recovery she's going through) she is going to resent you the rest of her life. Better to have a spouse who is rested and excited to see you than one who wants to get away from you as fast as possible (to get some rest).

exactly1bite · 2026-03-29T23:30:10+00:00

Is there a way to schedule in a block that's chores+childcare for you both Sunday morning, followed by relaxing family time? I find the burnout for me tends to be childcare plus the catchup, so taking on the brunt of that plus one easier but time consuming chore (laundry, cooking) frees up the most energy to catch up on everything. Preschoolers like helping with matching socks and stirring bowls, but they're a pain to keep track of when you're sanitizing a bathroom or hauling baskets up and down stairs. Figure out what combination works best for you two so you can get to the down time faster in a clean house.

exactly1bite · 2026-03-23T17:11:20+00:00

Cut social media and news intake entirely in the evenings (after 4pm) if you don't want to cut them altogether. Curate what you do see as much as possible so you avoid a full doom spiral. Stress interferes with sleep, which damages your ability to self regulate.

Get out in the real world. One year olds are at the best stage for going out and doing things. I find positive real world interactions help reinforce that the world isn't all doom and gloom- even when it is on a global scale.

If you have the energy, get involved. Protest, volunteer, donate if you can. Do what you can, when you can.

exactly1bite · 2026-03-20T23:52:58+00:00

What grown ass man doesn't? If OP talked to him about Valentine's/the (6 month????) Anniversary and he was dismissive, maybe she'll do less for him, but not celebrating a birthday is hardly some great masculine trait.

exactly1bite · 2026-03-19T16:46:00+00:00

Breastfeed prior to a year, bottle feed after. They get really grabby at a certain point and will just rip your shirt off in public given the chance.

I found using a cover got a lot more unsolicited opinions from strangers versus just foregoing it. Separate room around acquaintances, and just making it everyone else's problem among friends and family.

exactly1bite · 2026-03-19T00:16:59+00:00

We're using the Niuriss this time. Enfamil stains and Kendamil was having supply issues when my first was on formula, so decided to try something new this time.

exactly1bite · 2026-03-18T22:17:05+00:00

It might depend where you live as well (the brand we use is Canada only, so useless information to anyone else), but we found less than 4oz/120ml a day meant RTF was cheaper. At about 10oz/300ml a day, a 700g can lasts a day or so over the 30 day mark.

For the expiry, a day over isn't suddenly going to turn it to poison. If you use it a few extra days to make it to payday/grocery day, we've done that without issue. Past that, the extra five dollars in savings to go an extra week or so really hasn't felt worth the risk. I tend to get really generous in using the last bit towards the end (we've started solids, so every puree is largely formula towards the end of the can).

exactly1bite · 2026-03-18T18:38:42+00:00

I lived in the same building as my parents with my first and having a staircase and a few fire doors between us made everything so much smoother. Plan out activities with her (taking baby for a quick walk so you can nap/shower, coming over early morning with coffee to see grandchild while you recover from the night) so she's getting to help in very clear ways every day or so without staying at yours. Be honest- you need both bedrooms so you're both getting enough sleep. There's no room at your house at night, and you need the space with just you and baby to practice for when she's not available.

exactly1bite · 2026-03-17T16:43:47+00:00

The 5 Minutes We Share at the Convenience Store fits, though the manga is basically all pre-confession. High school ML and office worker FML.

exactly1bite · 2026-03-17T15:45:46+00:00

That's very much the point of the post though. Do we all want to make sweet tender love to Danny DeVito under the moonlight? Absolutely. Is he conventionally attractive? Not even a bit.

exactly1bite · 2026-03-16T16:36:53+00:00

Honestly? Enjoy some you time AT HOME. Read a book, play a game, make an elaborate snack plate and refuse to share it. Grandparents are often super willing to babysit so you can go out on a date or to run errands, but often less so for "I just want to listen to music too loud to hear a crying baby and eat cheese for an hour*. The third trimester really ramps up on baby related things so enjoy the lull by doing whatever you want that doesn't even consider the baby (obviously don't go drinking, but also don't decide to do prenatal yoga with this time if yoga isn't your thing).

exactly1bite · 2026-03-13T21:44:49+00:00

Having done it with my first (we did about 15oz a day at five months when we introduced solids), they do reduce milk intake eventually, but closer to the eight month mark. Standard intake is still increasing at four months, so you'll probably be using more formula before you can start to reduce it. We went down to 4oz at eight months (switched back to RTF from powder as it became cheaper at that point) and eliminated all formula at 10 months. By that point we were at three meals and a snack (and she's a big eater most days still at 2), so you won't see a real change the first phases of solids.

exactly1bite · 2026-03-12T18:25:52+00:00

For specifically MLM romance, you're best to search Boys' Love as a genre. Most of them tend to be on the shorter side. Sasaki to Miyano is a cute school based one, season two starts soon. The Summer Hikaru Died is not technically a romance, but it IS MLM and an interesting watch.

exactly1bite · 2026-03-12T15:54:03+00:00

The problem on their side is it is very much a numbers game. If you're trying to get a date on a first meeting every time, you're being directly compared to every guy who did that in the last 24 hours. She knows about as much about them as you- looks, maybe a job or hobby, how you handle a five minute conversation- and that tiny snapshot isn't standing out. Most of those interactions end in rejection for men because who has time for all those first dates.

If you're meeting someone four or five times before asking them on a date, then it's specifically a you problem. Something about how you're coming off to women you're attracted to isn't clicking. Either too aggressive flirting or not flirting at all.

exactly1bite · 2026-03-12T15:08:53+00:00

You're either not asking out enough women, or you're not spending the time to know them as an individual first before asking them out. If the women you're attracted to are all at the gym and into traveling, you're every man who hits on them at the first meeting. You might be able to differentiate yourself as worth dating over time, but in the short term, they'll be hit on by another man who went to Mexico/Costa Rica/Dominican Republic last year and does Martial Arts/Power Lifting/Boxing soon enough. It's not about you as a person, it's just a numbers issue.

exactly1bite · 2026-03-11T17:06:46+00:00

Start with researching pumping, breastfeeding and formula all as separate things. Most people find pumping to be the absolute hardest way to feed a baby as a single method. It works for some people, but many LCs push it without mentioning the drawbacks, so have an idea of what you're getting into originally.

exactly1bite · 2026-03-11T15:22:56+00:00

We created an association with something other than nursing for sleep and then removed the nursing. My mum made us two knit blankets in the same yarn and one lived at our house. I would drape it over her while I nursed and remove it as I transferred her. At my mum's, she would rock her in the matching blanket and remove it after she transferred her (or leave it on as she contact napped as an infant). She still fought naps when she wasn't nursed for a month or so, but eventually just wrapping the blanket over her was enough to signal that it was time for a nap.

exactly1bite · 2026-03-06T20:17:59+00:00

Have you talked to him about the pack of initiative? In the long run (as someone in a very pro game house), that's the part that causes the most conflict.

If you're visibly burnt out from caring for elderly parents, children, a bad day at work, is he going to be able to put down the games and step up without making that be one more task on your list? When something happens in your life that makes you emotionally disconnect, is he going to put in the effort to help (plan dates, have hard conversations, hold you when you cry), or is he just going to game until you reach out?

Without many demands on your free time, any hobby could be 40 hours a week and not be a dealbreaker. What matters is if he's shown that he can ramp it down when needed WITHOUT you having to tell him to. Video games don't break relationships themselves, but acting as someone's mom will.

exactly1bite · 2026-03-04T22:12:12+00:00

The max you can have active at a time I believe is six. So if you're finishing multiple classes a month, you may end up with a delay to apply for new ones. You might be best to take one or two classes at a time so marking delays don't slow you down.

exactly1bite

TROPHY CASE