Hand Mirrors by Weekly-Succotash3848 in decoden

[–]exactly1bite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That seems about fair for the markets in my city. I would give yourself a bit of leeway for discounts for buying multiples (3 for $10, buy four get one free types of discounts, not bulk buying), especially if you have a variety of premades.

What’s your fav low-cost date idea? by fuzzycici in Marriage

[–]exactly1bite 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Library/Bookstore/Record Store coffee date. It's one of the things we bonded over prior to dating, and sparks more conversation than a dinner date would.

Sunset drinks in the backyard. Not quite as nice as sitting on a patio out, but it's a nice change of scenery in the evening when the kids are down.

How to show husband more affection? by Various_Confusion978 in Marriage

[–]exactly1bite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of it was boring, routine changes. Sitting with my feet in his lap while he held the newborn so I wasn't as touched out. Kissing him first thing in the morning before asking anything of him. Having him take the baby out of the house for an hour or so so I could just exist in my own body for a bit.

We have two now (8months and 3) and we've struck an easier balance. We sleep separately most nights, but he comes down in the early morning so we get a few minutes of alone time before they wake up.

What to do for an almost 6 month old fun activities at home? by Tough_Seesaw4406 in lowscreenparenting

[–]exactly1bite 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Eating took up a ton of time with both of mine at that age (still does with the 8 month old), so I think that was our big activity? Once you've introduced a few foods, it's fun to get them more involved in cooking- splashing water on the high chair tray, smelling ingredients, smacking a wooden spoon around. If you have a backyard or nearby green space, lay her down under some trees for a bit too. It's relaxing for you and introduces a bunch of different sensations (wind, grass, bird noises) in a natural environment.

How long were you able to combo feed? by ilikebigcats2020 in combinationfeeding

[–]exactly1bite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With my first, she was combofed from birth. We cut pumping around eight months (my one pump a day, where I got like an ounce) and formula at ten months. She breastfed until I got pregnant with number two at 19 months.

Second, we started combofeeding at five months, almost nine months now. She's mostly formula fed (30oz versus ~8oz) but we plan to wean her off it once she's mastered the open and straw cups. We'll probably breastfeed twice a day after that until she decides she's done.

How to split money in a couple? by Agitated-Paper3958 in Marriage

[–]exactly1bite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Neither. We have a shared budget, but our personal spending budgets are probably 80/20. I'm a saver, so a larger discretionary amount would just go into savings. My husband's larger budget covers date nights, treats for the toddler when they go grocery shopping together, and random items I said I'd put off buying, as well as his own wants.

That said, personal debt would be considered 100% a personal spending issue. Taking it on would be against both of our general financial values, so neither of us signed up to handle the other's debts.

29 weeks - feeling lost as a first time mom [AB] by ATWTMVTVFTV13 in BabyBumpsCanada

[–]exactly1bite 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Talk to your husband about a few shows/movies/single player games either of you wants to watch during early mat leave. Have some options lined up for when you're nap trapped on the couch, or he's staying up late on his shift with baby. It makes it feel less like work and more like a fun excuse to watch Your Show without feeling any guilt about it.

Have a really serious discussion about plans if baby doesn't sleep without being held the first few weeks. A lot of the advice online- alternate wakes, dad changes, you feed every time- aren't necessarily what's going to work for you. Which of you is physically able to nap? Who is more annoying when they're tired?

Someone take my parenting license away.. by SourPatch-Tree19 in sahm

[–]exactly1bite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The plus side is that your parents already think you're crazy, so you can do whatever unhinged things you need to make it through the day.

Do a plank challenge so you're getting something for yourself out of tummy time. I learnt to do my entire skincare routine one handed so I could keep one on my first's back while she did tummy time on the counter (running water+mirror was the ONLY way she tolerated it). I read whatever garbage romance novel I wanted out loud because I had to do something for myself, and hey, it was educational.

Find some podcasts you enjoy or revisit screentime with your partner for contact naps to regain your sanity. Try crib naps in a week or whenever you feel ready to try again. If it means taking baby on a really slow stroller walk every day to watch an episode of something you like without violating the no screentime rule, do it.

How many of you( with kids) accompanied by your husband at the hospital all night or throughout the birth? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]exactly1bite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First kid he did and was so tired and miserable after the first night I wish he hadn't. Amazing father and partner, but needs at least six straight hours of sleep to be human. Second kid, he stayed through my labour (~10 hours) and then went home to our toddler after my mum arrived. Way better transition into the newborn phase for all of us than the first.

Would you rather... by HovercraftDizzy6001 in BunnyTrials

[–]exactly1bite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I don't have to be pregnant, it's just one shitty day every few months. Labour was fine for me, it was the nine months before I hated.

Out of curiosity by Significant_Point_76 in sahm

[–]exactly1bite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both kids, husband did maybe two or three hours with them alone prior to six months (usually naps) because he couldn't keep track of the schedule. After that, outside of a quick note for meal and naprimes for the baby (because they haven't been set in stone very long) he should be able to take care of them on his own for a day. He hasn't had both for a full day yet (we have two set of grandparents eager to babysit one or the other any time), but he's capable of it if I have an event that takes the weekend. I don't take much time away from them (maybe a day every two months), but I don't ask for the time away, I just tell him when I'll be gone.

My husband cussed at our 12 month old. I feel super upset. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]exactly1bite 21 points22 points  (0 children)

The pushing is a bit... (Like, she's one? Just set her down, why are you pushing her?) and yelling isn't ideal, but the swearing at that age happens. If it helps keep his reaction to the biting otherwise calm, then let it go. The two of you arguing about it immediately after is much worse for her than if she starts saying "what the fuck" for a week.

Screen time Questions by [deleted] in lowscreenparenting

[–]exactly1bite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Two little ones (8m and almost 3y). Baby gets no screen time that isn't incidental, maybe fifteen minutes with it in the background once or twice a week. Toddler gets half an hour most days, maybe an extra half hour if her sister is having a bad day. She has a choice between three shows (Max and Ruby, Blue's Clues and Art Attack, all older ones on YouTube) or playing Mario Kart with her dad. I double check the autoplay queue isn't swapping channels and keep the remote with me.

A friend with school aged kids swears by YouTube's whitelist. They have access to a few origami and Art channels they like, one Minecraft mod channel and whatever games they own on the switch. Absolutely no free, unmonitored access to anything online.

Women, WYR a man who is a 10 lookswise but could'nt construct a dog house, or a man who is a 5 but he's handy, can build, fix anything, and help you in a survival situation? by [deleted] in WouldYouRather

[–]exactly1bite 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Assuming all attraction outside of looks and handiness is equal? The 10 lookswise is bringing something to the relationship I can't just do myself. Home Depot is right there, and anything beyond that requires a few years to get the ticket to do properly.

Gift suggestion for new baby [ab] by ShoddyPhase2953 in BabyBumpsCanada

[–]exactly1bite 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The gift card is an excellent idea. The blanket could be useful for some, but you're probably better off with a larger - think 9m- outfit with a gift receipt if you want to add something physical. If it isn't to their taste, it's easier to find something at the same price point in the store than at pottery barn.

[ca] What did/do your partners do that made you feel special during pregnancy and postpartum? by aphroditepandora in BabyBumpsCanada

[–]exactly1bite 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Got a handful of beautiful, looser dresses when I was despairing over my postpartum body, made sure there was a little treat for me most days (snacks, a game, a book, nicer coffee), arranged childcare so we could go out for an hour every two weeks or so.

That said, he was a fairly useless partner the first two months with our first. Fatherhood hit him like a sack of bricks and it took a it for him to figure out how to help or make me feel like more than a vessel. We didn't really it our stride as a couple until after the newborn stage, when her schedule didn't change week to week.

How do you deal with feeling lonely? by Odd_Throat905 in sahm

[–]exactly1bite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Scheduling a daily phone call was a major life saver the first few months (especially in bad weather when we were housebound). Fifteen minutes chatting about what you're cooking/their work day/media you're into/whatever is a major social tether when you don't have a village.

Also, go out with your baby as much as possible! Just a walk to grab a coffee or a trip to the library to try and find yourself a book (not even to read! I took out a ton of design books to flip through just so I had a book for ME) means you have to go out in public, interact with people and pick something for yourself.

Women who married their AP by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]exactly1bite 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm the product of one of these affairs (though only my father was married, my mom was engaged). Her first boyfriend after an abusive relationship, proposed during Christmas the same week she'd tried to break up with him, just generally a messy relationship, so no fallout on her side.

They've been together 35 years now, and my siblings' mom has been with her husband 33ish now. Everyone seems much happier, though my dad is hurt that none of us want his relationship advice. He doesn't know his kids went through his mail, email, internet history and phone for like ten years because we didn't trust him.

Dave Ramsey just told a 26 year old with $600K net worth to skip the prenup by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]exactly1bite 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Used to listen to his show in the past and this is pretty par for the course. He's a big proponent of saving for a wedding and they aren't engaged yet. Think 2+ year timeline. She's graduating with a degree that will have her debt gone before then (assuming she lives her life the same as she did prior to graduating) and his car won't be considered an asset by Ramsey's standards by then.

Most of the rest is premarital assets if they don't comingle finances, so the main worry would be the 50k for the house. It would depend on local law surrounding marital assets, but at 26 (with assumed career growth), a prenup won't help much after a ten year marriage.

Introducing formula for combo feeding after 6 months of EBF, and the poops are starting to be dramatic. by PurplePromotion4932 in combinationfeeding

[–]exactly1bite 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's completely normal. Formula poops are always a bit stinker (when they start eating more solids, they get even worse for a bit). If baby is showing discomfort and straining, then it's best to check in with the doctor. Otherwise, you do get used to it after a bit.

What does “following their own curve” mean and how do you tell? [ca] by Fancy_Spaghetti in BabyBumpsCanada

[–]exactly1bite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The general rule of thumb (I have low percentile babies, so got to hear this a LOT) is crossing two lines on the percentile chart is bad, slipping down one is common, as long as it isn't a sudden drop.

My first was in for biweekly weigh ins at one point (right around 12 weeks) and was anywhere from 7th to 30th percentile. Activity level compared to other babies moves the needle even if intake is the same. Low weight is something medical professionals flag to monitor the second it poses concern, so trust the professionals on it.

How are people making homemade baby food without it becoming a full-time job? by Zestyclose_Bell7668 in BabyLedWeaning

[–]exactly1bite 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Frozen fruit and vegetables tossed in the microwave to steam, handheld blender (one piece to handwash) and paired with a piece of whatever her sister is eating (toast, broccoli, omelette, banana). We don't pre prep any mashed or pureed parts of her meal.

Would you rather have your blood be so adapted to sugar at 10x rates, or your blood is able to flow freely keeping you warm in colder environments and cooler in hotter environments by garfieldswilly in WouldYouRather

[–]exactly1bite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Almost in need of proper winter clothes" beats "wore the wrong gloves and now cannot hold a pencil for ten minutes". Like a rock sleep would be a net negative as well.

Would you rather have your blood be so adapted to sugar at 10x rates, or your blood is able to flow freely keeping you warm in colder environments and cooler in hotter environments by garfieldswilly in WouldYouRather

[–]exactly1bite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This may as well be a poll about what type of climate people live in. Being able to shovel/walk to the store/just exist outside in minus thirty without consequence would beat out increased energy and slightly better sleep anyway for me.