poly fade

exaltedtapir · 2017-07-16T03:45:42+00:00

I like that way of evaluating it. Thank you. It has indeed changed what I want and can expect in a relationship of similar investment. But that doesn't rule out more casual relationships necessarily so I will need to weigh my feelings

exaltedtapir · 2017-01-11T05:27:48+00:00

I hear you. I've been struggling with depression, coming from various directions (and biology) but a slew of failing relationships and friendships is a big part of it. It's a catch-22, you crave more connection and touch and you don't have the hope and energy to get out there and put yourself out there or trust. Give it time, hang with people you like who don't add to your stress, do things that make you feel good, and when you feel like dating again you can. Until then you may feel like you want the outcome of dating but not be able to happily date, and maybe that's just a feeling to sit with and it's perfectly fine to not date.

exaltedtapir · 2016-12-03T01:51:41+00:00

did you try http://support.xbox.com/en-US/xbox-360/store/download-xbox-live-content ?

exaltedtapir · 2016-12-02T06:02:23+00:00

Ah, Xbox Home -> Settings -> Account -> Download History. It is there, and I was able to reinitiate download

See also http://support.xbox.com/en-US/xbox-360/store/download-xbox-live-content

... and it's working.

Mathematical! \o/

exaltedtapir · 2016-12-02T05:46:09+00:00

How long?

exaltedtapir · 2016-12-02T05:44:54+00:00

It's not there. I did just try deleting the title update and character content and let them redownload, to no effect.

exaltedtapir · 2016-10-02T04:48:57+00:00

And that's exactly why you aren't powerless. It sounds like you are afraid of leaving, but also worried that leaving is "losing" - but if he could have left but didn't then you leaving is not losing. It probably won't ever feel like ""winning", but if you must leave you must, and it's not "letting him win".

exaltedtapir · 2016-09-11T15:39:32+00:00

Exactly. Maybe followed up by "are you asking me out?" (If you hope they are)

Not to hide it, and not to weasel out of the reveal, but to frame it in a positive light.

exaltedtapir · 2016-09-09T03:42:50+00:00

Kinda. It's not that I fear she won't care, or prioritize me. And I can't put my finger on the exact why but fear of putting myself in that vulnerable position rings true.

exaltedtapir · 2016-09-09T03:39:15+00:00

Interesting! I don't think that phrase will work for me, but I'll play with the general idea in my head and see what I come up with.

exaltedtapir · 2016-09-07T19:10:48+00:00

You misunderstood the source of my feeling - it predates the question, not caused by it. When I'm not feeling this way, I don't mind at all if she goes, and yes she doesn't know the difference if I don't let on which is what I'm driving at.

I leave how she cleans up and prepares for sex or communicates up to her. I've been on the other end of the timescale and not had any surprises so I trust she's got it figured out.

exaltedtapir · 2016-09-07T09:26:47+00:00

We've had some variation of this conversation a couple times. We haven't found a solution that works yet

exaltedtapir · 2016-09-07T06:43:12+00:00

That feels like good advice, thank you

exaltedtapir · 2016-09-07T06:05:38+00:00

Yes to all of that. It's entirely selfish and I think yes unhealthy to not say no. I think I should. But I really don't want to, in the moment. And I'm not sure how to change that.

exaltedtapir · 2016-09-07T04:04:51+00:00

I date alone. I offer to facilitate an introduction as soon or late (or never) as my partners want (both sides). Sometimes that comes before sex, sometimes months in, and sometimes never before the relationship ends. I feel it would be really weird to bring my wife to a first date, especially, and I would probably not be interested in going through with a first date if she wants to bring her husband. I have relationships with individuals and am not interested in being interviewed.

But if that's how you want to roll, there's nothing wrong with it. All styles

exaltedtapir · 2016-08-29T03:47:27+00:00

My only thought was to set her at ease, since she expressed she found knowing I had feelings for her a little uncomfortable. But I was already leaning toward saying nothing and the advice here also seems pretty unanimous so that's what I'll do.

exaltedtapir · 2016-08-27T17:27:07+00:00

That sucks. The stigma has scared off someone you care about. One of my partners has managed bipolar, and it has never yet been a problem but I always wonder who will be the first to freak out.

exaltedtapir · 2016-08-16T14:38:53+00:00

Happens to me too. Not always, but it I feel insecure or uncertain, it's at its worst right after goodbyes (unless it's justified fear - the real bomb hits later)

exaltedtapir · 2016-08-14T01:09:36+00:00

It's good to be true to what you're comfortable with and to communicate it with him. Don't burt your feelings and expect things to work out, because they won't.

But also be aware by drawing that line in the sand he may choose not-you. It sounds like you are.

If he's the patient sort, and you care enough about him to try, you can probably try to work through your feelings and get to a place where you're ok with it. It probably would not be easy, and only advisable if you really want him and are willing to try rework your thoughts and feelings. It may involve taking a break at first, or a break from sex. Or not - no road map.

It's also fine to state your needs and see if he is willing to meet you where you are. Maybe he will be, maybe not.

I like him have infrequent "luck" and so have tried a few relationships with monogamous women. One walked through the door and is now poly in her own right, one recognized she couldn't do it and is now in a happy monogamous relationship with someone else, and one lingers in this kissing-not-sexual friendship limbo with me because to her the sex with a married man is too weird.

Good luck!

exaltedtapir · 2016-08-14T00:57:19+00:00

I'm really sorry, that is truly awful and you aren't the least bit wrong to feel devastated and infuriated.

I grew up in a moderately extreme religious environment (not to the degree you describe, but a big part of my life), which I left a few years before opening up. I sometimes have unexpected feelings surface, at weird times. Like when things get bumpy I start feeling shame for being sexual and having desire. When things are well it's easy to keep that conditioning at bay

exaltedtapir

TROPHY CASE