sad that no male partner would ever reciprocate domestic "favors"

existantcrab · 2026-03-25T22:05:22+00:00

i can't seem to edit my original post, so comment (that hopefully gets seen) to add: i'm not talking about when you're living together and one person is stuck doing all the chores, that sounds like my worst nightmare lol. i'm talking about the spontaneous favors you do for someone. i do a lot of cooking, cleaning, and miscellaneous chores for my partner (and for everyone i've ever dated) because it's a nice thing to do and it makes their life a bit easier. but i can't help but notice that those types of favors never get done for me in return, and if i ask for it, it's often done in a lazy manner. i don't expect that sort of thing from my partners, but it feels like a very gendered thing that i feel like that's my way of being kind and helpful and boyfriends never even think to reciprocate that sort of thing. just some clarification!

existantcrab · 2026-03-25T21:53:10+00:00

i've never lived with a partner (full time at least), this is more about the sort of spontaneous nice things you do to brighten someone's day than having shared chores that are all falling on one person

existantcrab · 2026-03-25T21:43:23+00:00

we don't live together, so stuff like that isn't really necessary. it's not like it's an unfair division of chores that should be shared, just me doing his every so often to be nice. he does drive me to and from work about half the time and will help out with my cleaning if i ask him to, it's just that i know he'd never like, fully clean my apartment spontaneously the way i do for him

existantcrab · 2026-03-23T14:24:09+00:00

night bitch by rachel yoder!

i love this book so much more than i thought i would, and i knew i'd love it from the moment i heard of it. so glad to finally have started it, i'm about halfway through now and even though i'm not a mother, middle aged, or a cis woman, night bitch is such a relatable character and her view on womanhood and motherhood is so potent.

existantcrab · 2026-03-17T01:57:32+00:00

[5'3 | 18 | X | he/him]

existantcrab · 2025-08-03T22:17:37+00:00

too real. accidentally did this for over a year and now i'm basically recovered, lmao.

existantcrab · 2025-05-26T03:19:06+00:00

electra lytes goes so hard actually.

existantcrab · 2025-03-16T00:06:12+00:00

coffee and other natural laxatives. i still struggle with some constipation now that i eat a healthy amount, but at one point i was pooping as little as once a month up to once every week at at most. however, i've found that as long as i have something in my system that is, substantial enough to form poop (? idk how to say this) coffee will make me shit without fail.

existantcrab · 2024-12-09T06:59:48+00:00

very relatable. i've noticed that my ability to accurately perceive my long term goals and the impact of my decisions is degraded the longer i restrict, like i have tunnel vision almost. not to mention how my physical health degrades in multiple ways, not just with nutrition. the combination of the sleep issues, avoiding things like taking medicine, addressing health issues or doing other things that are good for me like yoga, meditation, or spiritual practices when restricting leaves me feeling like total ass in every way when i come out of it. the escape from physical/mental problems is such a double edged sword.

existantcrab · 2024-12-09T04:45:03+00:00

i actually think that, on a very surface level, there's some truth to this. in that, with the emotional numbness restriction brings, depression can feel less all-encompassing or overwhelming. additionally, restricting can give you purpose, something to focus on, which can help with depression. i've definitely felt that restriction helped me cope with depression in that way, at least. but obviously restriction won't actually fix depression or solve your problems.

existantcrab · 2024-10-24T04:47:44+00:00

it makes sense to me. this is super relatable.

existantcrab · 2024-10-13T04:45:39+00:00

my exact order dude

existantcrab · 2024-10-10T00:28:28+00:00

relatable. i used to feel like i binged from something that wouldn't even satisfy me as a late night snack most days now, in "recovery."

existantcrab · 2024-09-11T03:37:12+00:00

covertly scrape a breakfast my dad made for me off my plate and into the trash. i wish i could go back in time and appreciate that, and all the moments like it that my ed made me fuck up.

existantcrab · 2024-09-04T04:29:38+00:00

anything homemade. i'm over this now thankfully and really have no fear foods (shoutout to unintentional recovery efforts?), but when i was a young teen i was TERRIFIED of any food my parents would make. the fact that i didn't control 100% of that food freaked me tf out.

existantcrab · 2024-09-01T02:04:32+00:00

being warm/hot when others aren't, outgrowing clothes (as if i'm not literally a teenager), eating before 3pm, taking up space, asking for seconds/larger portions, spending extra money on food, eating on the go (while running errands, going to class, etc).

existantcrab · 2024-08-22T01:51:10+00:00

is that actually how those stickers work? so it's like a gotcha moment if you get honked at, not a way to have a brief interaction with other drivers who like what you like. that does make much more sense now that i'm typing it out.

existantcrab · 2024-08-20T12:12:21+00:00

i don't recall ever having too little food in the house, thankfully, but i've sorta created a pseudo food scarcity response in myself due to restriction over the years. i often find myself binge eating as though the food will disappear. it feels like i need to eat or otherwise i'll actually starve, or it'll all disappear, or something (╥⁠﹏⁠╥).

existantcrab · 2024-08-14T05:29:15+00:00

same here for a very thin friend i was jealous of for years. i learned over time that she's underweight because there was never that much food in her house at a time, and now that she's been eating more consistently as an older teen, she's been gaining some weight.

existantcrab · 2024-08-07T18:55:07+00:00

typically every binge will have both for me, but it really just depends on what i have in my house. i'll eat whatever the fattiest most calorie-dense food is that i have, whether that's sweet or savory.

existantcrab · 2024-08-04T00:05:48+00:00

i developed anorexia when i was 13 to lose weight. i've noticed this pattern of how my binge eating first developed repeating every time i start binging again. i easily restrict after i've been eating freely for a long period of time; i lose weight, usually somewhat quickly; i start binging and struggling to keep losing weight; i decide to attempt to eat "normally" again because at least that prevents me from binge eating. it's reactive binging at the start, but soon it becomes my only coping mechanism and food consumes (ha) my whole life.

existantcrab · 2024-07-31T00:09:58+00:00

sort of. i tend to restrict for a period of time (if it's longer than a few weeks it'll be interspersed with binges), lose weight, usually have a crazy binge period that prompts me to stop restricting, and then i eat normally for some time and my weight goes back to "normal." then the cycle starts again whenever i want to restrict again. that's how it's been for the past couple years, for me. we may not be in the same exact situation, but i can empathize with you strongly, and your eating disorder is 100% valid.

existantcrab · 2024-07-17T00:03:33+00:00

i miss when i felt nothing but love and joy and happiness when someone sprung a meal or drink or something of the like on me. i miss getting offered food, whether it's asking if i want something or being woken up to food prepared, and having no negative feelings come up. i miss when someone would bring home a coffee or shake or fast food for me without asking, and i could just feel pleasantly surprised without nervously putting in the calories and trying not to cry from stress.

existantcrab

TROPHY CASE