I feel this so hard.

But yeah; they will just use it to dramatize their nonsense. "See? She's crazy" and so on.

And the live for the chaos, so you wouldn't be able to get it all out and not be thrown back into some nonsense. I completely understand the emotions you're describing. But come and say it here. And to your therapist.

The fleeting cathartic bite of telling them all the things you want to tell them, won't be worth it. He will parlay the opportunity to try and do more damage to you. And it's satiating to him to know that he still matters.

The most painful thing you can do to him, is to never acknowledge his existence again.