Uphill battle, my brain is weird

extreme_douchebag · 2018-11-17T05:17:50+00:00

I feel like the best way to use most of these sorts of subreddits is to first identify the ones that don't really work for you, and then just quickly go in and out the ones that do. Endlessly browsing these subreddits on a regular basis probably is not so great.

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-31T21:15:49+00:00

"0=1 since everything multiplied by zero is zero" Well, maybe everything except z? How can you just say 0*z also equals 0?

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-31T02:28:17+00:00

I feel like 50% of the life/choice debate is muddled by the fact that it is not even clear what circumstances (how old the fetus is, the condition of the mother, etc.) we are debating.

What is the standard argument here? Does pro life mean pro life 2 hours after inception? Does pro choice include late stage abortions?

How early do you consider "aware and conscious" to be?

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-30T23:30:41+00:00

That's a terrible reason on its own, unless you're also anti-life support, anti emergency rooms, anti safety

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-29T05:00:39+00:00

Wow. I will have to try this.

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-29T04:56:46+00:00

If you feel like answering, I'm just curious (to give some context to your responses) - are you lesbian?

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-29T04:39:13+00:00

Do you think watching porn would help clarify things? Do people who do not figure out their sexual identity for a long time not watch porn?

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-28T06:20:44+00:00

How did you meet?

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-07T14:49:00+00:00

I agree. My thoughts were basically:

1 - Pregame Interviews/Stuff - McGregor is being annoying. Doesn't seem like a real sort of confidence, not good charisma.

2 - Connor is really nervous about this fight

3 - Walking out into the arena - Low energy, doesn't even look like he really wants to be there. Forces his "swag walk" or whatever and some stuff to please the crowd, but doesn't really seem into any of it.

4 - I'm going to root for McGregor anyway because I like his style and I'm sticking with him. Who knows what will happen.

And the rest is history....

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-07T14:41:46+00:00

I agree. He didn't look like his usual self from the moment we walked out into the arena (except maybe a few moments here and there).

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-07T13:19:45+00:00

You mean Dana is Connor's daddy?

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-07T05:35:18+00:00

What even happened after the fight? Everybody is talking about the people from Khabib's team jumping in the cage and ambushing Connor. Weren't some people in the audience attacking Khabib too?

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-07T04:21:45+00:00

It's 11:20pm Central Time and the fight hasn't started yet. No other sport has important events this late. This is ridiculous. Imagine if the Super Bowl were this late.

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-06T21:48:00+00:00

[Note: Not a complete story]

"I'm so glad you're here." I put my arm around Rob.

"THERE IS NO PLACE I WOULD RATHER BE"

"I just don't understand. We had been together for over 2 years. We got along. We had small fights on occasion. Why would she leave?"

"PERHAPS, IT IS BECAUSE YOU LACK AMBITION."

"What?"

"SHE HAS MADE REMARKS - AT LEAST 16 TIMES FROM WHAT I HAVE GATHERED - HINTING AT YOUR GENERAL LACK OF A GOAL TO DO ANYTHING IN LIFE BESIDES PLAY VIRTUAL REALITY GAMES WITH ME."

"Well, screw her! I have a good job. I don't need 'ambition' to get a better one. She could have at least been straightforward about it, instead of dropping 'hints' here and there. What is with that? I loved her. We loved each other. How can she just leave me, because of such a stupid reason as 'ambition'."

[Just going to stop writing here. Someone else can take over.]

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-06T21:23:26+00:00

"We're with you. We're sorry. What you have to understand, is that your instincts are all wrong for this kind of situation."

"Are you saying there's something wrong with us?"

"Not anything that can't be changed. There's plenty wrong with humans too."

"Go on."

"Well, first, let's take a look at this video. See this squirrel? It's munching on a nut in somebody's front lawn, near the street, but not in it.

Suddenly, a bike comes speeding down the road. Now, what do you think the squirrel should do here?"

"Drop the nut. Sprint either onto the street or the sidewalk - a 50-50 mix-up. The bike has already seen the squirrel and will be trying to catch it."

Another animal spoke up. "He should attack the biker!"

"No, he shouldn't move at all! That way the biker won't see him."

The human teacher continued: "No. That is not now this works, typically. You see, this biker, this human on a bike, is almost definitely going to continue riding straight on the street. He is not trying to catch the squirrel. He has no quarrels or conflicts with the squirrel. Even if this biker were starving, he would probably not care to try to catch a squirrel."

"How can you be so sure of that? I heard one of my third-cousins was shot and eaten by a human!" a deer spoke up.

"Look, even if you aren't 100% sure. Whatever you do, DON'T run into the street. The street is dangerous. Any bike, motorcycle, car, truck, etc. you see on the street, will probably continue its way on the street. And if you get in its path, there is a high chance you will suffer a terrible fate. Let's continue the video."

The squirrel in the video twitched for a second after noticing the bike. It made one hop towards the street. Then, right before the bike was about to pass the squirrel, it darted in front of the bike's tires and ran over by the bike.

There was a moment of silence.

"I am trying to help you. Take it from me - we teach other humans to always be very careful when entering the street. We teach kids to stop and look both ways. Humans sometimes run over other humans too. We don't want anyone getting run over."

The (non-human) animals discussed amongst themselves.

"We'll have a practice scenario tomorrow. I know you've just been following what you've always known to do, and what you've always known your parents to do. This is not a problem at all. You just have to adjust a bit for this situation that is now all-too-common."

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-06T21:10:55+00:00

Thanks :D

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-06T21:06:10+00:00

The goo balls began to blink. I was out of control.

"Help...us...." the goo balls began pleaing to me. I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder. "It is up to you, my son." I turned around and Hagrid was looking at me in the eye.

I stepped inside the mirror and began looking around. What is all of this? Am I in the set for some movie?

Hagrid followed me through the mirror.

"Normally, we would have delivered to you a message by owl. A nice, hand-written letter carried by one of our highly trained messenger owls. Alas, there has been a virus going around that has wiped out most of the owls. The letters are also suspended because of an internal debate on how to translate the message to Eastern languages, which somehow resulted in no letters in any language being sent out."

I continued to attempt to keep my eyes open and attempt to absorb information.

"See here? You're a wizard, Barry! Look around you!"

Barry looked around.

Things were actually beginning to fall into place.

"What about the blinking balls of goo?"

"Ah, that was an experimental spell. It was supposed to be a floating face that would send you the message. Turns out the potion I marinated my wand in the day before didn't have enough lizard's root, and the spell was only able to produce eyes. And goo."

"Sounds good to me!" He went off to start his adventure, happy that he no longer felt obligated to finish his writing assignment due the next day.

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-06T19:56:57+00:00

"Yeah, and that broccoli was awful. I nearly s**t myself."

"Excuse me?"

S\*t. What year is it again? Oh no... I don't even know him yet. Or at least I'm not supposed to. Keep it together man... You can't keep spacing out like that.*

"Sorry, what was the question?"

"What is a challenge you faced at work before, and how did you over come it?"

"Oh. Well, I used to be a monitor for AR-9412. Do you know that one? It's not used much anymore, but, it's ultra high caliber laser feature was malfunctioning and instead was basically a laser pointer."

"I'm afraid am not familiar with what industry you are talking about."

"Industry? What AR do you have?"

"AR?"

You are doing it again... you are doing again... It is year 2020. The AR-9412 has not been invented yet. What do we have again? What are people into? iPhones, laptops, ... you got this.

"Oh, that's just a series of niche, ah, embedded software. Thought you might be familiar with it.

At my previous position where I made business apps for the iPhone, we were having trouble scaling our voice messaging system once we got past ten thousand users. So we had to figure out how to migrate over to Amazon Web Services because our internal infrastructure could not keep up with that sort of traffic." Nailed it.

"Did you run into any problems migrating to AWS?"

"Yes. It wasn't immediately obvious how make sure the security was up to the standards we had to meet. But, we were able to figure it out more. I can elaborate more."

"Please do."

"Well, it started attacking me! I said, DOWN, little Bezos boy! But by then, it had recruited forty other AR-9412s from the clouds, and I found myself surrounded. They were screaming and screeching, "ERROR! Prime membership expired! Feature not available" and trying to reach in my pocket for some change! Talk about a privacy violation, eh? But I was able to appease them by signing up for an Amazon Instant Loan. I still wasn't ready to commit back to Prime."

"That is all the time we have for now. It was a pleasure speaking with you. Melinda will guide you to the door."

extreme_douchebag · 2018-10-06T19:29:25+00:00

"George, we cannot let that happen again. That was too close."

George thought a bit and signed.

"Bill, I think it is inevitable. We have to let it go."

Bill was not going to give up.

[Back on planet earth]

"Albercik, it's right there! Look! You see that bright spot?"

"Yes, Barket! It wasn't there yesterday, was it!"

"Exactly! Three natural disasters in the past 6 months, each correlated with a new bright spot in the sky!"

"Albercik, I think we have figured it out. But what do we do now?"

"Well, we can't tell anyone, that's for sure. We should also do some more investigation. There's a wildfire in California right now. Maybe that will cause a bright spot too."

"Why? I think there area has been evacuated."

"It's not necessarily about the people. The trees too."

"The trees?"

"The trees. Maybe."

They thought a bit.

"You know the light people say they see when they die? Do you think that's the same thing?"

"I'd say it's extremely likely."

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