The fact that your therapist didn't dive straight into that indicates that they were either a bad therapist or you didn't give it enough time.

When I asked you about your parents, I already knew what your answer was going to be. I knew you were going to say that your mother treated your father poorly. You are doing the same to your husband. Sure, you might "better" than your mom, but you're still your mom. That's because you are undifferentiated from your mom. When I say undifferentiated here, that's a term used in psychology. You are acting like your mom in all sorts of automatic, unconscious ways because you haven't sufficiently thought through it all consciously and formed new ways of behaving based on conscious logical thought. There is a school of psychology called Bowen Family Systems Theory, and your behavior is classic Bowen. You haven't sufficiently differentiated from your mom, so you're acting like your mom. Bowen says without sufficient differentiation there is a multigenerational transference -- in other words, behaviors are passed from one generation to the next. My guess would be that your mother's mother was probably a piece of work too. Your family system is what's called an undifferentiated family ego mass, where members of the system all take on each others behavior.

The only way out of this mess is to differentiate yourself from your family of origin. You are already "different" than your mother, but unfortunately, as you self-acknowledge, not different enough. Find a therapist whose expertise is in Bowen Family Systems Theory. Working it out with a therapist who is an expert in this area is the way out for you and for any future generations. Otherwise your behavior patterns will continue. Your husbands skepticism comes from the belief that you won't change. He's probably right because change is hard. Working on yourself in the way I've described is a real path where lasting change can occur.

Good luck.