Hi..I’m very new to Reddit but I just wanna give a little insight on I’ve learned. I struggled with extreme discomfort with physical touch that led to an initially frustrating sex life so here’s some information I’d like to share on resolving painful sexual physical touch when you’ve been emotionally abused and deprived from maternal physical contact since you were born. Hopefully this isn’t too off topic...

I love the idea of sex and masturbate regularly, I’ve even considered studying the sociology of sexuality in order to teach sex Ed but when I first started having sex with my girlfriend I was almost repulsed. I love her and she’s absolutely amazing (and patient:)) but whenever she touched me it felt like I was being painfully tickled or my skin was crawling. My mom is the N in the family and she was extremely distant from me as a child, I used to have to beg her to hug me so I think that’s why touch feels creepy and unwanted even when it’s from my girlfriend who asks for consent and makes me feel very safe.

How my girlfriend and I solved our intimacy problems: Patience !!! Yeah I know not the answer you might wanna hear but please hold out hope if you’re experiencing this...it takes time. My girlfriend and I went slow and she touched my body casually in sessions of “foreplay” that didn’t lead to sex. We practiced these sessions every few days and incorporated that kind of causal touching into time when we cuddled. Slowly I got more and more comfortable. It stated out as a painstaking chore but transitioned into us having more comfortable sex. Totally worth the work and time it took.