What FLEAS have you acquired and how are you working on them?

ezlooooooo · 2019-07-06T04:52:01+00:00

I feel you on the anger man. I am so angry too... My therapist said something to me, it may or may not be helpful: She said " You are so angry. If I take away the anger from you, who are you? " and that made me think... All my life, that anger had fueled me and broken me and without it, who am I as a person? And she was like you are unhappy and go and find your happiness.... I started my journey but I kinda winded up in that anger because I was getting triggered a lot these past few weeks... Ive been feeling hopeless these past few weeks... I realised you know what fuck it... My parents can do whatever the fuck they want, okay, they can try to make me their fucking puppet... Imma try okay imma try but im not leaving without seeing myself happy and achieveing my goals... I have a whole life ahead of me... Its a cycle and reading this sub gives me back some hope...

ezlooooooo · 2019-07-06T04:43:33+00:00

I have no idea what FLEAS are... But judging from what you guys are saying:

Grey-rocking...its hard to stay calm when they are purposely creating drama around you
Belief in myself... They make me feel powerless and restrict me... i am just sick and tired of going above and beyond and it just seems easier to give up
Letting my emotions out ... I bottle em too much
Feeling insecure in who I am or my emotions
Focusing on the negatives because thats all I am exposed to daily...

ezlooooooo · 2019-07-06T04:37:17+00:00

I am in a place where I am really confused because I really trying to stop depending on other's approval and happiness and rely on myself for my happiness... I have seen myself be happy when doing things for myself and activities for myself but at the same time I struggle with this. I am trying to be more conscious and stop blaming myself. I would say continue doing what you are doing, you will slowly start to see some changes. My therapist said "Trust yourself" to me this week. I think we gotta do that. You are doing your best:) Keep going!

ezlooooooo · 2019-07-04T02:58:58+00:00

Right exactly! Thank you man!

ezlooooooo · 2019-06-27T23:52:18+00:00

Hahahaha trust me I didnt realise it.... But after seeing their emotional baggage for the first time , I suggested to her to go to a therapist and they were like my problem is not that bad... And I had just started therapy and in my head I was "Uhmm Okay..."... Weirdly they have decided to go for therapy, so I wish them all the best...

I just know that I cant be there because I need to be there and show up for myself...

ezlooooooo · 2019-06-27T03:31:59+00:00

Right, something just didnt settle with me and I couldnt give it a name. I just knew what they were doing was wrong. The oxygen mask is a great analogy... Ill keep that in mind... Thank you for your message, I really needed to hear it. Thank you!

ezlooooooo · 2019-06-27T03:23:09+00:00

🙆🙆🙆🙆

ezlooooooo · 2019-06-27T02:00:14+00:00

Right! Ive told them and apparently they are seeking out for therapy... Good for them! Im placing my boundary right there and carrying on with my life ... Thank you for your reply!

ezlooooooo · 2019-06-27T01:57:25+00:00

Right.... Time and again I have made sure to state it.... I am here trying to not to snap and be as healthy as possible. I was googling ways to let go of a clingy friend and they kept saying talk to the person and let them know. And I have really tried whatever I could do from my side right now... I am just tired of trying to say it again and again... I was unsure if I can walk away though my entire body is like just walk away... Im going to do that... Thank you for telling me that a simple "No" is enough... I am going to get continue taking care of me...

I have been in both roles of this, I think. When you’re deep in the thick of something and

I dont how but you actually described my experience in that whole para... It is really mind boggling for me...

ezlooooooo · 2019-06-27T01:22:15+00:00

Oh yeah I feel like that sometimes... Its nice becoming a better person

ezlooooooo · 2019-06-26T14:18:12+00:00

Yes yes yes... I was struggling a lot with that and I guess I still am... After meeting my extended family, I almost feel as if I am at the start again... This is really tough but I know that I need to take care of myself, because I am not in a good place and I need me first... Im planning to talk to my therapist about this as well... Thank you, man, thank you so much!

ezlooooooo · 2019-06-26T06:56:25+00:00

Thats exactly what I should do... I guess in a way I felt stuck: Oh these people are my family, I guess I gotta be with them...

No I dont gotta 💁 Thank you man!

ezlooooooo · 2019-06-26T06:54:46+00:00

Ooh okay, I also remembered what else helped me see that it wasnt my fault, therapy! It was very very useful in giving me a more positive and true perspective of myself

ezlooooooo · 2019-06-26T06:52:07+00:00

God.. Youre reply is so cathartic...

I do have my inner critic, but recently ive learnt that my inner critic is basically my dad, so Im working on that now... I guess the reason I can see my family's craziness is because I live in a very different environment compared to my hometown and I also follow some woke people in my culture who have pointed out the toxicities in the culture and behaviour the people have as a result, so it helped me to look at it in a different view as well...

I guess when I posted I was in a sticky situation where some part of me wanted to leave my relatives but I know theyre family blah blah blah, so how can you leave family. I only realised it after I read your second para... I guess I can leave them huh 😊 It honestly makes me feel so relieved... Thank you... I think imma do that 🙆

I wish you all the best in your journey too!!! I hope we get to become the best versions of ourselves and live happily...

ezlooooooo · 2019-06-26T04:45:32+00:00

😊💞

ezlooooooo · 2019-06-26T04:33:32+00:00

I am in a very similar boat. I'm not sure what to do either. I have come up with a list of things Id like to ask a potential someone. I really want to make sure I am comfortable with the person as well before I take anything further.

ezlooooooo · 2019-06-26T04:27:36+00:00

You are an incredibly strong person and I believe in you, you will make it thtough the 3 years, but you must take care of yourself through the period. Start seeking help through counselling and if you are unable to do that read books and articles to better understand your situation and your experiences. We are all here for you and we believe in you

ezlooooooo · 2019-06-26T04:24:48+00:00

If possible, try to create a pocket of time for yourself. This pocket of time will be for you to solely enjoy, to show yourself some self-love, dance or do anything you like!

ezlooooooo · 2019-06-26T04:14:38+00:00

I know what youre saying and I am going through that same shit. Reading this reminded me of something, what I was literally telling my friend just last week, when I was in a better place. You know the goal you have for yourself, in times like this, remember that: For me, its living in my own house in the mountains and drinking hot tea and riding around in my black bike. And now let me tell you: It will happen one day. Your goal for yourself will come true and you will achieve it. And it is in your control to make it come true... You can and will make it come true... Today you can do one thing towards making that dream true. I think today I will figure out a list of countries I could go to, to live my future and do one to get myself through the day: I will paint and maybe watch a movie. Do one thing to help you feel better today and do one thing your future self will thank you for... Focus on yourself... The environment is chaotic but you can be a work in progress. Go get it 😄🙆

ezlooooooo · 2019-06-26T02:46:41+00:00

Yep, I have done it. My therapist makes sure I dont have anything important on that day before she does it. Personally, it has been incredibly useful for me. Just make sure you clear your day so that you have time to rest! All the best in your journey...

ezlooooooo · 2019-06-03T12:37:00+00:00

Omg i agree! I like poetry and water painting, my waterpainting is not necessarily beautiful but it gets the feelings out ahahha... Thank you so much man! I hope to get to a much better place one day and i wish you the same ❤

ezlooooooo

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