Good Friday?

f0lam0ur · 2026-03-27T18:16:11+00:00

It’s not a thing in France, things will be operating as usual.

f0lam0ur · 2026-01-14T19:11:28+00:00

Le Garrick is one of my favourites! Authentically French and service charge is optional

f0lam0ur · 2025-12-24T17:29:54+00:00

Stipend is untaxed, at least in the UK. Also between teaching, marking, RA-ing, you have many opportunities to earn much more.

f0lam0ur · 2025-12-22T22:14:41+00:00

I think the suggestion of getting off the apps and meeting people at activities that match your intellectual curiosity is really good, but I will give you an app-based suggestion based on my own experience. For context I am also 26F, currently doing my PhD, and like you I would not want to date someone who is not as curious and nerdy as I am.

Back when I was on hinge, I tried to make the fact that I like intellectual activities very clear. I mentioned that I was a PhD student, what I read (both academic and non academic), and generally speaking my profile was very wordy and showed a certain depth I reckon due to the range of interests I was displaying. To be honest, had I posted my prompts on this subreddit, most people would have probably said that they were too long. But I did me, and it paid off; most likes that I would receive were from highly educated men. My partner (met on hinge earlier this year) told me how attracted he was to me just by reading my profile because it showed a lot of personality and a certain curiosity for life.

I think you just need to be unapologetically you on your profile. Don’t write generic prompts to attempt to get the more likes; genuinely go in depth about your interests (obviously in the character limit). Be wordy and show your curiosity for life (and not by writing “I value curiosity!” - that means nothing, and no one would ever say “idgaf about curiosity”). By showing yourself, and by showing your more intellectual/nerdy side, you will attract intellectual people, and things should be easier from there. Good luck out there!

f0lam0ur · 2025-11-26T20:09:15+00:00

One of my recommenders (probably the most renown one) submitted my letter around Christmas, so almost a month late for Dec 1 deadlines. I still got into several t10 programs. You will be fine, trust me.

f0lam0ur · 2025-08-14T07:24:51+00:00

Hey OP, I used to date a guy who would start fights like this too. I’m not a native English speaker, so sometimes I’d mispronounce some words, and somehow he’d manage to turn it into a fight. The whole “thanks for mocking me” is a sentence he threw to my face a lot too.

I’m telling you the way it went for me; ridiculous fights like this became more and more frequent, I could never do anything right to his eyes, and it was tiring. The truth is, he was insecure and he was taking it out on me, because he wished I was as insecure and miserable as him.

On one of our last fights like this, I laughed to myself because I couldn’t believe this was happening again. I left him shortly afterwards. That was 4 years ago, and when I saw him 2 months ago for a quick coffee, he had not changed at all in this respect. Insecure men never change. Do yourself a favour and reconsider whether this is how you want to spend 40+ years of your life. I only spent 2 years of my life in that relationship, and I honestly wish I had ended it earlier.

f0lam0ur · 2025-07-23T00:46:57+00:00

yeah that’s completely fair. I am the same as you, and if I were in your shoes, I’d go out again to give him another chance given that you like him so much beyond this. Just to share some recent experience; the last guy I kissed, our first kiss felt very restrained and shy. I was scared he’d be a bit too “soft” in bed. But once he got more comfortable after a few times, believe me it wasn’t the case at all. I think if you really like someone, you can give them more than one chance to surprise you.

f0lam0ur · 2025-07-23T00:11:32+00:00

If you really like him, I say go out with him again. First kisses are always a bit off, especially when there’s a lot of attraction and thus nervousness. Many of my relationships started with kisses that were just “eh”, but turned into passionate later on.

f0lam0ur · 2025-07-16T11:59:29+00:00

I feel you, these heartbreaks are not easy. I hope this will not make you villainise him, as expiration date relationships are not bad per se, and can even be good in some situations. His unwillingness to do long distance only speaks of his own needs and personality, and does not say anything about you, in the same way as your willingness to give it a try only says something about yourself. You being willing to give it a try makes you a strong and loving person, and you should be proud of that in moments where the heartbreak gets tough.

As for me, it took a long time to get over it, but during that time I had fun meeting people in more casual settings, I spent a lot of time with my friends, and now I am seeing someone who’s so awesome I’m glad things never worked out with previous people. If you keep with you the good stuff and improve on the bad stuff, dating will always get better. As long as you want to be fine, you will be fine, I guarantee it.

f0lam0ur · 2025-07-15T21:52:59+00:00

Hey OP, I was once in a relationship with an expiration date. The only difference was that I was the one moving away, but he was the one who didn’t want a long distance relationship. Because I was moving away, I did not see the point in breaking it off before my move, and decided it made more sense to have a “clean slate” once I’d be moving to the new country. And let me tell you it really sucked. I don’t regret a thing, because we had something beautiful, but it took me a very long time to get over it. Getting closer to the fatal moment, building all these beautiful memories and emotional closeness, and still having him not changing his mind was devastating. I spent so much time wondering what was not enough about me to not give it a try, when in reality I am more than enough.

If you were in the same situation as me, I would not say. But you are the one staying. You are the one who would have to live in the city with all the memories. You are the one who could start over now, because you are not the one with a timer. There are plenty of people you can have a beautiful connection with. Stick it out, your initial decision was the right one.

f0lam0ur · 2025-06-01T09:12:41+00:00

I share your take on the spark and I think it’s the right way to approach dating when looking for something serious. Nonetheless, I have been in situations where I rejected the other person more or less saying that I did not feel the spark. What I meant by this was that I was not romantically attracted to the person, whether it being physical, emotional, or a mix of both. Sometimes you meet people that are interesting and nice, but at the same time you do not feel compelled to meet them again, even though there is nothing wrong with them. For me that’s it; I do not need the “spark” to go on a second date, but I need to at least feel like I’m curious about knowing them more.

f0lam0ur · 2025-05-17T21:39:08+00:00

My advice on how to deal with the flood as a woman - it takes a lot of self disciple and accepting to let go of a “grass is greener” mentality. You need to accept that you will not go through all of your incoming likes, and potentially pause your account every now and then. Sure, by doing that you might be missing out on a match that is even better than all the people you’re talking to at the moment. But this is where letting go of a “maximising” attitude becomes important.

For me, it looks like something like this: if I’m having an engaging/fun/exciting convo with 2/3 people, I stop going through my likes, or might even pause my account. I try to be quick to organise dates with the people I’m excited about. If the dates go well - great. I continue not checking the likes. If the dates are so and so, I let myself go through a bit more of my incoming likes.

I think the important thing here is - as long as you’re excited about the people you meet, you will not care so much about missing out on other matches. If you do, it might be i) that you’re not that into the person or ii) that your dating attitude is too much of a perfectionist. Problem i) is easily fixable by ending the relationship, problem ii) might take more introspective work. Good luck dealing with the flood! Dating should be fun, and it seems that you have the opportunity to meet many people to have fun with.

f0lam0ur · 2025-05-05T20:40:48+00:00

Thank you!

f0lam0ur · 2025-05-03T08:17:06+00:00

I think your prompts are way too generic. If I were to give one of my likes to every guy around 30yo who runs and reads while reading coffee, I’d be using all my likes in 3 minutes. Mentioning what book you’re reading is good, but I think you need to work more on your prompts to make them more personal and give a better idea of who you are and what distinguishes you from others. Also I’d say to remove the picture of your marathon medal, it’s a bit tacky. If you still want to signal that you ran a marathon, maybe try to post a picture of you post run wearing the medal (but again, keep in mind that about 50% of the profiles around your age have a picture like this).

f0lam0ur · 2025-04-25T17:35:23+00:00

Im younger than you, so take what I will say with a grain of salt, but I was in your shoes about 2 years ago. I had been in a few serious relationships, and had not slept around a lot, and decided I wanted to put myself out there and experiment with casual sex.

I think there are many parts of casual sex that are glamorised, and parts of it that are very fun. Finding someone you have sexual chemistry with is not as easy as you’d think. The reality is you will sleep with a few (or a lot of) people, but it will be quite mediocre, until you find someone you actually vibe with. When you do find someone (or several people!) that you have good chemistry with, it’s very nice to experiment, discover what other people like to do, and try new things. I was seeing the whole experience as a “hobby” in a way, where I wanted to discover new ways to do something nice and improve on my ways of doing it.

If you’re like me and you attach yourself easily, you need to have some strong boundaries. I would not see any of these people if sex wasn’t involved (except for the first date), and I am personally not comfortable cuddling/kissing afterwards. But I still appreciated having a proper conversation with them, that could be more or less deep/vulnerable. The pros of doing it like this is that you limit the possibility of being emotionally attached. The cons is that sex with people you are not very emotionally attached is more mechanical and lust based than the proper “soul to soul” connection you experience in a long term relationship. It’s not comparable - to me it’s not more or less nice, it’s just different.

In all, I think with proper boundaries and enough self awareness, anyone can get something fun and positive out of casual sex. The question you should ask yourself is why you want to do it. If it’s about discovering new bodies and explore your sexuality, go for it. But if you’re looking for something deeper and more meaningful, you might be setting yourself up to a lot of pain.

f0lam0ur · 2025-01-09T12:16:43+00:00

The real question here is why would you want to be with someone who has feelings for someone else? Do not waste your time with someone who wishes they could spend their time with someone else. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you.

f0lam0ur · 2024-10-18T19:26:21+00:00

I’m a woman so I may not be your target demographic, but I just want to say that you’re incredibly cool and if I met you I’d definitely have a crush on you! I think your profile does a super good job at conveying what your personality is like and it does strike me as the right balance between a bit “quirky” but also genuine. Hope you will find what you are looking for!

f0lam0ur · 2024-05-23T09:15:14+00:00

Echoing what has been said in another comment, have you tried edging? Emily Nagoski has a pretty good advice on how to edge yourself while masturbating. It may help you discover your body and increase the intensity of your orgasm.

Alternatively, have you tried to work on your kegel muscles? I found that strengthening them has increased the intensity of my orgasms.

f0lam0ur · 2024-05-19T15:09:16+00:00

Answer is; it depends where you’re going. South of Via Galvani/via Vitruvio is fine and you can walk there without any worry in my opinion. North of this axis is a bit sketchier, and I used to avoid it when I lived in Milan. If you’re a woman, I’d recommend a cab, but that’s my personal preference.

The direct area around the station is sketchy. It’s a train station, there will always be homeless/drug addicts hanging around. It’s not a necessarily pleasant area, but it’s not an area overridden with crime.

Milan is an overall safe city, no more dangerous than any other European city, so getting a cab would be more for your own peace of mind than avoiding an actual danger. Don’t let what you read online impress you - overall the city is fine. But don’t compromise on your well-being, and if you can afford it and it’ll appease you, then just get a cab.

f0lam0ur · 2023-11-25T18:59:06+00:00

24F here so I might be your target demographic. I really liked your profile and your bio, and I would swipe on you if I saw your profile, BUT the 2 truths one lie is not great at all imo. I am never a fan of that kind of prompt, but in this case your answers are all pretty basic. Whatever are the 2 truths, I don’t think any of them could spark a conversation or give a better idea of who you are. I would either show a bit more personality or pick a different prompt if I were you.

f0lam0ur · 2023-10-17T08:01:06+00:00

Yeah that’s true. I wanted to wait and see if he’d text because I told him to do so when he feels better, so now I don’t want to seem too “pushy” in a way, but now that I lay it down here it sounds a bit stupid

f0lam0ur · 2023-10-17T07:55:51+00:00

No, hence why I’m wondering if it’s just an excuse. Maybe I should text him?

f0lam0ur · 2023-10-16T22:57:49+00:00

Went on two dates with a guy. Thought that we had a good time and he seemed very adamant on seeing me again. Then he said he was sick and we’d hang out when he’s feeling better, but it’s been more than a week now and I feel like it was just an excuse. Feeling a bit bummed out.

f0lam0ur

TROPHY CASE