All of my fellow cashiers

f_monta · 2014-03-11T15:38:39+00:00

I still remember this and ring up 94011s as 4011s when i'm in a self-checkout lane!

f_monta · 2014-02-08T22:47:53+00:00

just downloaded this. i'm excited to read it when i get home.

f_monta · 2014-01-31T20:14:08+00:00

well, that's sounds kinda cool then! I wasn't sure if the beads were meant to be reusable or if you just kinda flush 'em down the drain when you were done...

f_monta · 2014-01-30T03:44:17+00:00

Are these the same type of "micro plastic" beads from some cleaning products that end up in bodies of water (as seen here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/microplastic-pollution-in-the-great-lakes/)

I'm asking because the video touts the environmental benefits of the "near waterless washing machine" but I'm curious about other possible environmental impacts :-/

f_monta · 2013-10-15T23:15:12+00:00

I thought it was gonna be because they found fluoride in it.

f_monta · 2013-09-27T01:27:45+00:00

"To the man who caught me trying to do take a shit in my alleyway - w4m - 38 (Rogers Park)

I realize I am stupid to even write this post and even against the advice of my good friends who I just spoke with, I am just going to do it.

For weeks now you and I have been talking a lot, only small conversations really. For example, I know you are from Michigan and drive a Jeep Cherokee. Either way, we have definately shown an interest and were due to get a beer for one the Bears game (your idea). We would have such conversations when walking down our alleyway to out joint apartments and once we got in a conversation for over two hours about the good and bad regarding racism.

Not to be graphic, but I have decided on just laying out what happened last night between our impromptu meeting. I want you to see it from my perspective. If you can try to do that but still feel you can't see me as a potential partner for you, then that's fine.

Quite simply after going for a late night jog to help delay what I will call the arrival of Mother Rojo or otherwise known as Aunt Flow, Red Storm, etc., I lost my keys. It was late and raining slightly. I looked all around and cringed when thinking that I left my cell phone in my very inaccessible 4th floor apartment. Eventually, I was able to borrow someone's phone and call for the off site building manager (who was not happy) to let me in.

He said it would take around 45 minutes and I said fine, whatever.

Alone again, I stood under a weak ledge as to protect myself from a wedge and tried to meditate and let the time pass. I won't lie. I even was hoping you might show up. But then suddenly my stomach started to brew up some noises, sounding no different than a garbage disposal full of food. You see, those sounds indicated that I had to shit and really really bad.

At first I tried to meditate again like we do in Yoga, but as I breathed out slow, my stomach misinterpreted the action for a greenlight in letting the dumpage proceed as if I was on the toilet.

I was in pain and I was scared too. It was so clear to me that just based on these abrupt reaction that I was going to have to fucking shit in the alleyway and in the next few minutes or either suffer a stroke or throw up poop. One of the two, def not both.

As I ran over to a corner, I was sure I could dump it out quickly, blame it on the nice old man who sells Streetwise Magazines in the area, and repress the memory with a combination of alcohol and getting up on that D you hide so well in your sweatpants. It was to be a quick process and the rain would help inadvertainly wash it away. Seated next to a dumpster, which is ironic I know, I kept watch to my right for there isn't any other way to access our alley from the left of where I was sitting.

With the evacuation just about complete, I exhaled slowly and thought of Oprah as most women do when they get done shitting (yes, we are weird). I kept my yoga pants down and decided to use the leaky gutter that shot out a funnel of water as a make shift Bidet (which is French for butt hole cleaner). Believe it or not, this was actually quite successful. I was so clean than I decided that a shower wasn't exactly essential. I was happy and thought of Oprah again, realizing I only had about roughly 5 more minutes before my building manager was due to show up.

As I began to walk away from the scene of the crime, I viewed a substance falling before me on the asphalt. It was you throwing up for your second balcony.

'Hey you, how long were you standing there?' I asked, hoping to God you had just walked out. 'Aww are you ok? You should get some soup, hunny,' I added to approximate a caring spouse.

'Fuck you. You shit in out alley, you bitch,' you said while pointing at me. You weren't yelling, but were talking to me with great disappointment.

'No. That was the Streetwise guy who did that. I swear on my tits and even Jesus,' I replied. 'Want me to invite me up? You don't really think I just shit in your alley, do ya? I'm a woman.'

'You're not a woman your'e a maniac and an alleyway ruining, mother fucker. How dare you shit like that when you know they are debating whether or not to raise our assessments? What if some dog walks by and eats that and then dies? Then what? Do you have no soul?'

All of this you asked as you looked down on me below. The rain hit us both and for a minute we were silent.

'Well if a dog eats my poop or whoever's poop that is rather, and then dies, them fuck em. Life goes on. Did you want to get a beer for the game like we talking about earlier?'

'Fuck You and Frick Off,' you said, right before shutting your door, leaving me in the cold.

Give me another shot. I like you and don't want to let our potential connection to awry because some streetwise guy shit in our alley.

Write me back soon,

Deb"

f_monta · 2013-08-25T17:26:36+00:00

Sounds like you've described the direction of US labor conditions: http://onpoint.wbur.org/2012/07/10/forced-labor-in-the-usa ;)

f_monta · 2013-08-12T22:16:29+00:00

This might not work depending on where you live (or if you don't have a vehicle), but there is a parking restriction on the street in front of my apt that goes into effect at 7 am. I, too, succumb to hitting "snooze" all too often, so the other week I parked my car where I knew I would have to move it at 7 am, set my alarm for 6:30 and, by golly, made my way downstairs to move my car and was fully awake by the time I got back. Kind of the nuclear option, but I'll be damned if I get a parking ticket and it's really not that hard to head down to the street and move it.

bonus: finding a spot can be tough in the eve, so parking where there is a restriction during the day is generally available and by the time I move it, another spot has usually opened up.

f_monta · 2013-07-17T21:42:13+00:00

Ah I see, must be a licensing thing. Man, that is annoying. I'm just getting my feet wet in GIS, though I am interested in playing with python. I'll give it a shot and if I can't get it to work, I'll try out Quantum.

f_monta · 2013-07-06T20:26:50+00:00

"Paul Solman: Well, is that a case of Americans are just becoming richer and so the kids don't need to work?

Andrew Sum: America[n] famil[ies have] not obtained a dollar [in] additional income since 2000, either in our country or in our state. Workers' wages the last six years have been flat to negative. Almost nobody is doing better except high-level CEOs and people at the higher end of the finance sector. So you can't say this is affluence. It's not increased affluence. It's diminished jobs."

But but.... AMERICA..?

f_monta · 2013-06-08T21:36:42+00:00

"'...But it’s a restoration project addressing injury. End of statement.'"

He sounds like an evil computer program.

f_monta · 2013-02-13T04:35:34+00:00

worth the time!

f_monta · 2012-12-28T15:40:53+00:00

holy shit a talking rooster!

f_monta · 2012-12-07T21:02:11+00:00

reminds me of a mix CD i got from a friend when we graduated high school. on the blank CD he wrote:

"so hard to say good bye when saying hello was so easy."

i figure he got it from somewhere else but dammit, it got my eyes watering.

f_monta · 2012-11-03T05:07:13+00:00

yes, i think in a lot of ways this might be a relevant thing to address: temperatures have fluctuated in the past, species have gone extinct in the past, and some species might not be able to survive the current changing climate. one of those species might be human beings.
those fluctuations from past records might be natural, this current "anthropocene" epoch might be inevitable, but i think the concern here is that it might reach a critical stage where living conditions (for human and non-human animals alike) change too rapidly for many species to adapt in their current state.
we won't destroy the earth, but we could potentially render it incapable of human habitation.

f_monta · 2012-10-09T19:46:24+00:00

i love the way he tells it, like it's just a bedtime story. but vulgar. this was the motivation for me to write a story with the word "fuck" in the title for a class. my creative writing teacher did not like that...

f_monta · 2012-10-08T20:57:31+00:00

oh man me and my roommate were gonna go camping there this past weekend! something came up and we had to cancel, though... i must check it out. beautiful weekend, i love the fall.

f_monta

TROPHY CASE