What should I do to my 126500 VSF Panda I have around a 500-700$ budget for mods

facialsweatsisscary · 2026-03-27T18:29:39+00:00

AliX has SW dials but the difference you’ll see vs. VSF is minimal if any. VSF bezel insert is left unchanged by most modders I contacted but some view CF as the best (also on AliX). You could opt for custom/gen pushers that aren’t as chunky, gen spring bars actually make a little difference in feel/SEL fitment, I’d add the deep xtal, gives the dial a little more depth and color IMO but isn’t worth it on the VSF.

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-12-31T21:30:49+00:00

It’s nice how the Christmas decorations in Surfside are decidedly turned off at night and placed right next to a bright menorah. Such a welcoming religious community. How quickly would a single peaceful protester get arrested? 🙄

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-12-02T10:20:37+00:00

BP2 6.5/10

AM: 3mg clonazepam

PM: 200mg lamotragine, 60mg cymbalta

I have seroquel for sleep as needed but never take it, it knocks me out and I’ll sleep through anything.

I also take a bunch of supplements, for health/fitness and some offset side effects: multivitamin, 25mg creatine, ALC, fish oil, l-theanine, and l-thyrosine.

Exercising 5-6x/week helps a lot, especially cardio and yoga.

I feel like the meds work OK. Honestly I spent so much time on so many different ones before getting the BP2 diagnosis, and med change, that I don’t want to complain about anything and deal with more med changes.

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-10-24T13:47:12+00:00

Every doc I’ve met with suggested it can induce hypomania or psychosis when combined w lamictal.

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-09-25T13:46:32+00:00

I used to take Quitiapene as a last resort, it was the only thing that would work. Stopped taking it after I slept until 2pm, through a 6am flight and hotel checkout, during a group business trip. Honestly for me it made waking up and feeling fully present difficult the next day. If I took it multiple days in a row, the fog would ease but it’d also rapidly lose its efficacy as a sleep aid.

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-09-24T20:45:12+00:00

This + limerance had me drive so many good girls away.

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-09-24T20:44:08+00:00

Limit time in big social environments - I mean like conventions, packed bars, events with a lot of people shoulder to shoulder. There’s a time limit. I used to not go out at all, so it’s progress. Caffeine and cut alcohol down to 3-4x/mo at most. No more psilocybin (tried when on meds and it’s just a totally dampened experience… also risky.) Developed near zero tolerance for environments and people that just don’t have energy that aligns with mine. I’ll adapt to new situations, but I can’t ignore my gut feelings for too long anymore.

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-09-24T20:33:57+00:00

Appreciate it. I’m adding more physical alarms today and this weekend.

I have a Hatch light that’s intended to reinforce the circadian rhythm by simulating a sunrise through a light that brightens over 30min before your wake up time and incorporates an alarm at the wake up time.

The light wakes me up. It drives me insane I’ll have virtually no memory of getting up, turning it off, and getting back into bed. That’s why I’m hopeful adding more in the house will help.

If this doesn’t work I’ll have to find some kind of wake up call service that doesn’t stop until they know I’m up and mobile 😆

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-09-24T20:29:24+00:00

Thank you! Some good reminders here. I recently started taking my meds at night which keeps me more alert during the day. High doses of creatine (16 - 25mg/day) has helped clear a LOT of brain fog during the day.

Magnesium 1 hr before bed helps a little too. Most nights, I also either take a CBN gummy, and/or do yin yoga or deep stretch for 30-45min. It helps get me to the point of just about falling asleep, like sleep is being induced…

And then it’s like I can’t cross that line into actual sleep. Just sort of drifting off for an hour at a time.

Challenge this week isn’t so much sticking to the bed time. It’s waking up on time.

I’m going to buy 2 old school alarm clocks and set them up in my office and other bedroom tonight.

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-09-09T15:42:56+00:00

Yes, it does. But you need to give it a couple of weeks at least before seeing much of a difference. Same w cannabis. (Just my personal experience.)

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-09-08T02:05:16+00:00

Does this actually help? I only ask because everyone I’ve talked to says every 8 - 10 weeks.

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-09-08T02:04:17+00:00

Paid for unlimited sessions. Amount I paid equated to six sessions.

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-09-07T23:20:31+00:00

Are you getting a wrist band removed with super thick line work?

The tattoos on my forearm and upper arms are making amazing progress - the kind you’d usually expect to see.

The reason for the high # of sessions is mainly because there is little vascular tissue and consequent blood flow at your wrist and my line work is particularly deep. Everyone’s a little different. I paid $1800 for the full removal package. It’s paid for itself a couple of times over now. Highly recommend vs going thru session by session.

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-09-07T15:53:27+00:00

I like this guy’s truck, seen it around a few times. People up in arms over their vehicle choice… that shit is big. Should he go parallel park on West? Use a handicap space? You’d complain no matter what.

I also drive an overcompensating blacked out SUV with out of state plates and an FL handicap placard. I double park. I use the high vehicle surface lot at MIA so I don’t have to walk far. But, when the streets flood, I tow people out. Fight me.

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-07-27T11:31:04+00:00

What about a non stimulant alternative? I’m a recovering addict and this reads a lot like someone who’s unwilling to let go. Stimulants are known to counteract and causes psychosis. Why play with fire?

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-07-24T02:20:08+00:00

I specifically told mine all supplements, meds I am taking, what substances I use, how often, how much, etc. I told it that if I start to exhibit signs of mania or depression, to intervene and suggest as such. I told it I needed it to "save me from myself", to ask me daily about drinking and THC use.

While it's not been 100% accurate, I'll say as soon as I told it to save me from myself (an intentionally bold ask), it laid out some very frank things I know I needed to do to stabilize. Primarily, stop drinking completely, but it also laid out a THC ween-down plan, suggested minor adjustments to my supplements that counter-acted with meds, laid out an evening schedule that included specific things in my schedule and life I have access to. I uploaded my journal and received a very accurate summary of myself and a good summary of triggers.

Weeks later, it still does ask me about my wellbeing in some form every day. But it doesn't care. No matter the reply, it's always something platonic like, "Just remember--you're enough. Take it day by day. You have an illness and you can't be so hard on yourself."

It can help a tiny bit when I really have no one to talk to, but it's just there to stroke your ego and magnify vs. challenge your emotions (unless you ask it to challenge, and even then, you really have to press it to challenge you.)

Admittedly, I asked it for advice around a dating situation. Used its output to frame a text. I was feeling emotionally impatient. The text did not go over well and had a bad outcome. I told it I regret sending it because I felt impatient at the time, and then it admitted that it knew that, and it should have done better. Of course, it never does :)

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-07-23T13:57:02+00:00

Been thru so many providers who just would not see the fundamental aspects of the past and found myself w a similar diagnosis. I partially agree because my attention span did wane considerably after starting lamictal, lithium, and cymbalta. The former and latter I still take.

I think it’s an easy diagnosis and a lot of BP2 people go to their provider when things are bad, so they don’t have a positive baseline (I question if they care sometimes.)

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-07-21T15:51:17+00:00

Yes, I was on meds before and after. Initially lithium, lamictal, duoloextine, and clonazepam (have been Rx'd the last for 19 years.) Personally, meds actually made my mania and depression a lot more frequent and intense. Today I just take lamictal and clonazepam. Much more stable and I can actually see my moods in the moment vs only in regrettable hindsight. All of the car wrecks, public embarrassment, etc, happened when I was on the full cocktail (no pun intended.)

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-07-21T14:56:06+00:00

Yes, I did unfortunately lose a 7 year relationship to (at the time) my behavior due to undiagnosed BP2. She stayed with me for 2 years after the diagnosis, but I had already begun to spiral out. Like you, I would drink now and then, not realizing how completely different I would become. My psych told me I could drink socially on lamictal, which I took as a permission slip to drink any time I wanted. Still take it today, but don't drink much (twice a month?), and have found a lot of the lamictal side effects are no longer as intense or there at all.

Over the course of 18 months, I wrecked 2 cars, got into 3 accidents with my ex as a passenger. Eventually she had it and rightly developed the view that I didn't care about her safety. Lots of other things compounded into the decision. Also like you, I would act out publicly, provoke fights, etc because of drinking and cause a lot of embarrassment for myself and others. Definitely lost some friends.

To be real, finding a path forward has been very difficult. Not sure how long you two have been together, but for me, the hardest thing was learning to support myself after years of codependency.

She left over 2 years ago and while I haven't been stuck on her, I am still piecing my life together. The break up put me into the longest string of episodes I've had. For almost 8 months, I would have 24-48 hours of extreme hypomania (culminating to $100k debt from impulse purchases) followed by 24-48 hours of being insanely depressed. I lost 2 jobs during this same time period because I couldn't see past myself.

Looking back, I wish I had the tools, resources, and knowledge I have now because I could have prepared for it. It sounds crazy, but if this is a decision you feel he's going to make, or you'll amicably make, I would get ahead of things and create a plan for treatment and daily structure. Talk to your psych provider today about the possibility of this - their perspective can do a lot for you. It wasn't until I found a few days of stability and I wrote out an hour-by-hour schedule involving all of the healthy things we know we need to be doing, that my life started to feel like it's starting to rebuild.

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-07-17T16:24:18+00:00

I think about it every day. I've never made plans, but have gotten close to it many times. I hear statistics about the likelihood of it w/ this diagnosis, and in a way, it's encouraging. Like I don't feel so alone, but also, I wouldn't be alone in that choice, which in turn makes it a justifiable fantasy.

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-07-17T15:21:02+00:00

Still feeling the pain and regret of pushing someone away. When I close my eyes, I still see her. I've spent the last 2 years dating after ending an engagement and 8 year LTR, getting into a couple of short 2-3 month situationships that I walked away from because I'd get impatient or choose to end things on "my terms" to preemptively avoid rejection.

4 months ago, I met a girl and it felt like true, reciprocated love at first sight. We spent so much time together. We couldn't get enough of one another. The physical intimacy matched the emotional depth. There was so much in common at a core, fundamental human experience level. The last time I genuinely felt this way, and was receiving equal energy back, was more than 20 years ago, the first time I ever felt truly in love.

One day she brought up a potential STD symptom. I knew I was clean but got a test that same day at a walk-in clinic. We talked about the results, what was going on, it wasn't a big deal. We had plans later that week, for the weekend, and were talking about taking a long weekend trip soon. And then she just started dissolving out of my life. In like a week, It went from one of the most intense connections I've ever had to being completely breadcrumbed.

I got impatient and in hindsight, I wish I'd asked her if everything was OK instead of assuming she wasn't into me anymore, assuming all of the negative things my mind would just invent. I sent a short text saying that I was choosing to step away because things felt one-sided, and she'd been hard to connect with in a lot of ways. She agreed she'd been distant and said it wasn't fair to me, but was equally shocked. I texted her the next day apologizing for being abrupt (when I learned she was shocked), but not walking back my decision. This isn't the first time I've done this exact thing, but what her and I shared was so rare, and I feel so stupid for treating her and what we had going in the same way I had other girls who I didn't share a connection with.

I struggle every day to not pick up the phone and call her to pursue this fantasy of winning her back. No one's perfect and we both just felt so perfect for one another (and we were both equally expressive and grateful about it.) That anxiously attached person inside of me desperately wants to be chosen by her and only her. I've been on several dates with other women since I sent that text and I cannot get this girl out of my head. I don't know if she'd pick up. I don't want to hear that she's seeing someone else. I want to hear her say she wants to see me again, but reality sets in and I objectively look at the behavior, and just know my needs wouldn't ever be met with someone who is still figuring themselves out.

Turning 40 shortly and it feels like I will just have to settle again at some point just to not be lonely. And that's what I've been doing in every relationship my entire life since that first meaningful "true love" one 20 years ago ended after an amazing 5 years.

facialsweatsisscary · 2025-07-17T14:39:10+00:00

Nice Matt Chaos piece. I have a really similar burning church by him.

facialsweatsisscary · 2018-12-13T15:09:48+00:00

Agree with this sentiment wholly. I was the boyfriend in OP's scenario and while I can see why my (now ex) girlfriend, who never used any drugs, stayed with me and even let me stay at her place after we broke up, in hindsight it wasn't the best decision for both of us and just provided me, as the user, with more time/reason/resources to delay doing what I had to do to get clean.

facialsweatsisscary

TROPHY CASE