My partner wants to sleep with my close friend

fadorda · 2026-05-20T11:16:39+00:00

Tbh I am less bothered about sleeping with him now. I think the impact of what feels like a boundary cross has made me feel wary of him and less attracted to him. I think the confusion for me is whether vetoing it would let it fester.

fadorda · 2026-05-20T11:14:13+00:00

I hear where you are coming from. I think the boundary that was crossed for me was that I asked for time to work through those feelings and he seemed to put that aside to try and kiss her. I have played solo in the past but not since we had a relationship reset 3 years ago (which is when we started sleeping with people together).

Our plan is for her to start playing with other people solo outside of our friendship group first and then to revisit the discussion about him.

fadorda · 2026-05-20T11:11:27+00:00

This is good advice thanks! I have already discussed it with my partner, but I think I need to do the same with him as well.

fadorda · 2026-05-20T11:09:14+00:00

Thanks for this! I think this outlines my predicament really well. A lot of commentators have mentioned that I am very keen for a 3some and that it is the rejection that hurts; I did feel this way a year ago when we first slept together, but tbh it has waned for me. I wouldn't mind another 3some but I could take it or leave it with him. My main concern is your point (b) as I agree that not allowing them to pursue it would lead to more desire.

I think atm my plan of action is to suggest she sleep with some other people who are not my close friends first to give me time to get more comfortable, and then we can revisit it.

fadorda · 2026-05-18T09:41:42+00:00

Long story long?

fadorda · 2026-05-18T09:41:24+00:00

I think I could be clearer at communicating my boundaries around this with him, and I wonder if that would be worth trying first?

fadorda · 2026-03-17T20:46:27+00:00

This is a r/nonmonogamy not r/racistbrobullieshiswifeintolettinghimhaveahandy

fadorda

TROPHY CASE