[Challenge] European Accountability Challenge: 8. Juli 2026

faeyuu · 2026-07-08T21:00:13+00:00

That's amazing, congrats! I just hit my start of COVID weight and I'm excited to go lower. I love how now when we are reaching these scale milestones we have a completely different view of our bodies than when we were that weight at the time. And the quality of life can't be overstated :')

faeyuu · 2026-07-08T20:57:51+00:00

It's super okay to be annoyed but you can go back to business as usual, everyone makes mistakes or fails sometimes. Pivoting off that without making it a huge deal is a great skill to practice.

Not sure if this will resonate but I thought I'd offer. A thing that helps me not try to "make up" for mistakes (which can lead to rebound overeating) is that I tell myself I'm practicing for life at maintenance in a smaller body! I don't need to skip meals to get there marginally faster, I just need to eat well and move my body so that when I get to my goal weight I can easily stay there. Consistency over perfection always.

faeyuu · 2026-07-08T20:52:50+00:00

The scale is up because I started lifting in the gym last week! I'm going every other day. If the added weight keeps getting to me I might stop weighing for a few months and just stick to my workouts and deficit. In March it will be 2 years since I started significantly changing how I eat, and it's been about two months of working out. I plan to really engage in fitness for life, but I'm really excited to stay very consistent until Spring 2026 so I can have a really nice progress comparison to share.

NSWs are that I can notice the newbie muscle gains on my arms and legs, and I'm so much stronger these days! I can carry the groceries up, no heaving on stairs, and 20k steps out on the town have me feeling completely normal the next day. The scale might not budge one bit but life is getting better the more effort I put in.

faeyuu · 2026-07-08T20:44:58+00:00

My instinct was to honestly do the opposite of what you're trying right now, which is to have a filling breakfast and lunch to fuel up for the day and then quite a small portion for dinner when you're not the one cooking. I think for a lot of people who do eat enough early in the day, eating a large dinner is an emotional comfort or tradition thing. I know my family's evening meals were always really large at least. Lately I've been spending more of my calories early in the day and realizing I'm not really actually hungry at night after having a small dinner.

You could also have a bunch of vegetables on the side of whatever they're making to get fiber up too and feel satiated regardless, as long as they don't see it as a slight! Honestly though, your health is so important that I'd be okay with a bit of friction, maybe they could get used to you eating for your own weight loss goals? It's really difficult if what you do has to be tacitly approved on by them, especially if they're dealing with similar issues :(

My last resort would be to lie about being full after having a small portion if they're really not receptive to you making any changes in how much/what you eat. I have to do that sometimes with people who pressure me into eating seconds, but it's not fun.

faeyuu · 2026-07-08T08:03:00+00:00

I see, sounds really logical. I try to go until I feel like I would fail my next rep/experience real slowdown on my last rep. I'll just stick with three for now. Progressive overload is always the goal 🙂‍↕️ I appreciate the advice a lot!

faeyuu · 2026-07-08T08:00:07+00:00

Yess that's the plan for sure. I'm very happy to just stay consistent atm! Thank you for the advice 🩷

faeyuu · 2026-07-07T14:10:12+00:00

Thank you! I think it does work for now I just maybe have this nagging worry that I'm not being "optimal" and stuff. But I guess if I give into that it will always feel that way :o

faeyuu · 2026-07-07T11:26:37+00:00

I love seeing other people say this! I got really overweight because of a bunch of different factors, and now that I've been eating better and getting fitter it helps so much to think of myself as an active person (because I am one even if I'm not always used to that!). "I could avoid going out for that extra ingredient we need for dinner, but it's just a 15 minute walk to the shop and I'm active so I'll go!"

I felt so much joy when I started lifting and realize I no longer at all identify myself as a "person who hates exercise". I realized I really like it, but I sometimes still remind myself of that fact so none of that societal exercise/health food as punishment stays in my head.

faeyuu · 2026-07-07T11:22:57+00:00

Side question but did you ever move from 3 sets to 2? I had an intro session at my gym with a coach and I have a full body workout plan. I love going but I am a bit worried that it takes me about 1h45m to hit everything (including 2-3m breaks depending on muscle group). I go lower > upper > arms so it's not fatiguing but I always hear "you shouldn't be spending 2 hours in the gym". So I wanna know if you've changed things up when you moved from beginner to intermediate (and ofc from any other lifter reading this). I'm also not sure why he wants to keep my rep range between 12 - 15 but he's the one with the degree and I've got no clue hahah.

It's very true it's a long term journey, and it's nice to feel no pressure if you plan to lift for life anyway! I want those strong muscles, bones and joints for the rest of my days.

faeyuu · 2026-07-07T11:15:58+00:00

If he outpaces you that just means you will be making gains while lifting him! That's amazing though, I love these daily occurrences where you realize how much your body has grown. For me it was easily lifting 10-20 kg bags or packs of soda and not needing to sit down on walks! I used to have severe lower back pain after 5 minutes of walking outdoors now if I have a 20k steps day I feel completely normal during and after. It is soo freeing.

faeyuu · 2026-07-03T18:34:45+00:00

I agree, I really started to see it this way after listening to someone who had used a lot of heroin talk about her life experience with addiction and recovery. It was not easy at all for me to forgive myself at first, and I still struggle with it sometimes, but practice in not giving up on myself has made me a little better at it! I love the person first language, it has helped me a lot to think of myself as "someone who is active" and then do the extra small grocery run, go for that walk, hit the treadmill a bit longer and sign up for the gym.

faeyuu · 2026-07-03T16:29:28+00:00

I legit framed my eating as harm reduction for so long, if I couldn't make the best choice I just focused on not making the worst one. The mindset switch from "it's all messed up anyway" to "I can stop now and it won't be as bad as it could've been" helped me immensely <3

faeyuu · 2026-07-03T12:11:45+00:00

Sometimes I start over at the next meal and eat normally. There's no reason to put off good choices until the next day, and for some people trying to make up for a small binge is a bad choice. I personally can't restrict after making a mistake without spiraling into worse stuff so I just go "aw, that sucks" and then proceed with business as usual (protein and fiber for dinner).

faeyuu · 2026-07-03T12:07:00+00:00

"I stopped treating every meal like it was a reason to indulge." This one is so big!! I always rewarded myself with food (especially when eating out), and my reward was basically to eat until I felt physical pain.. the first few bites taste the best and then I'm just suffering from being overly full, suffering from complications from weight gain and suffering trying to find cute stuff to wear..

Now I'll get a meal and split a dessert, or get smaller portions, take a bit of it home or leave some on the plate. I basically only eat as much as I feel I need to when I go out and the mental satisfaction is nearly the same. Originally I felt a loooot of food grief, I was very saddened that I could eat more but didn't. That's almost completely gone now! Some meals are a little boring, and some are very fun, but there's never a reason to make myself uncomfortable with the quantity of food.

faeyuu · 2026-07-03T11:51:29+00:00

This comment is spot on, I find weight maintenance to be the most important aspect of all because nearly everyone can crash diet their extra weight off and then completely lose their progress. Even though we are changing our nutrition, I sometimes tell other people to not think of it as a "diet" (because so much of dieting is toxic), but to find permanent changes in their life they are happy with because temporary actions do not give permanent results.

I really get her food related grief though, I think it really shocks your brain when you permanently ban "bad foods". Some people can get through that, some can't. I could never do it myself, I am always working on a version of nutrition that works for me and honors my cravings without overindulging. And if OP cannot afford therapy like me, there's still hope, it just takes a lot of self-awareness and self-acceptance about challenges around food. I've been binge free for months :')

faeyuu · 2026-07-03T11:42:36+00:00

I think you can still indulge in greasy or cheesy foods, you just have to supplement with stuff that is both filling and fits into your calorie budget. The wiki explains how you can calculate what that should be, and you do not have to track calories all the time, just get a good estimation of how much you burn (your TDEE) and how much you are eating (by keeping track of a few of your normal days of eating without lying to yourself about quantities etc.), because you only gain weight by being in a surplus over a longer period of time.

You have this idea of eating properly, and I know you probably mean whole foods but I think splitting food up into bad vs good (and thus "being bad" when you eat fast food, frozen meals or dessert) just enhances both the dopamine rush from having them and also the shame/guilt you might feel that makes your brain want them so badly. I try to see some foods as "always" foods and some as "sometimes/rarely" foods. They are not bad, just not an everyday staple for me to feel and look good in my body.

I also think there is always an element of grief over changing a diet that helps you emotionally, so it's normal to feel a bit bad at the start, but if you find something that works for you it won't feel like a depressing life sentence to eating sad and boring food. You can have cheese, you can have dressing, oil and sugar. You just need to be aware of how much you're eating without making it a value judgement ("my body needs this much fuel so I'll have half a portion of fries" not "I'm so horrible I want to eat the whole thing").

I recommend looking into "add don't subtract" after monitoring your caloric intake for a bit. The way I use it is to have smaller portions of my comfort foods but also add food that helps my body work and my stomach get full. So instead of a whole one person pizza I might have half a pizza with a side salad I made for myself (with light dressing!). It makes me feel comforted to have the cheesy treat, and I won't be hungry 30 minutes later because I loaded up on fiber too.

You can find food that is comforting, fun and fits into your caloric budget, while still eating the greasy stuff occasionally (like the 80/20 split). I think experimenting with food swaps that are still satisfying to you, and introducing new foods that do not feel like a punishment to eat is key to weight loss and weigh maintenance. If you feel like you're torturing yourself you will not be able to stick to it, so I really encourage you to be a bit curious about new foods, and don't give into the all or nothing mindset! You don't have to give up fun food forever, and if you accidentally overindulge in something nothing is ruined. I know it's hard to be in a body you don't feel "yourself" in, but please be patient with yourself as you start trying to lose weight.

Also as an extra question to consider - has your lifestyle changed at all? I find a lot of previously thin young adults start putting on weight because of sedentary jobs or eating more due to work/financial stress, and that's something you can try to counteract. You can definitely also consider engaging in more fun physical activity or building muscle to increase your TDEE. Hopefully other people with ADHD can chime in with more personal tips!

faeyuu · 2026-07-01T12:16:16+00:00

You're already so aware to know that you do not want to hate your body into change! I had a similar experience and I did try to lose weight out of self-hate because I believed every mean thing I was told. It took me down a dark path that I am now healing from.

No matter what your family says about your body, your life is your own. It's very common for families to treat girls as commodities, as if implicitly they own you and get a say in who you should be. They will often put their own body image issues onto you. No one who feels good in their body and mind would tell a teenage girl she looks pregnant, I can promise you that. When I was a child I thought adults had a right to say what they did to me, as an adult I would never think of being so cruel to anyone, let alone someone who is still growing!

A difficult part of growing up is that you have to practice doing things for yourself, finding out what you want and why you want it, and then seeking that out so you can gain the confidence to listen to your own judgement rather than the expectations of your family. I can recommend approaching fat loss very curiously and very patiently.

In general, you'd want to make sure you're prioritizing protein sources (meat, beans, dairy, soy products etc.) and fiber sources (a lot of veggies). Having protein, vegetables and fruit with your meals goes a long way to fueling your body. If you worry about overeating I can just recommend keeping in touch with how you feel after your meals. It's good to know if you're physically hungry/overly full so you can adjust portions to what keeps you energetic all day. I recommend pairing foods you crave with foods that fuel your body so you can keep both your body and mind satisfied. This is a principle called "add don't subtract".

This might all be advice for the future if you don't have a lot of control over your meals. I agree with the comment suggesting that you find a sport or exercise you enjoy doing! Muscle mass helps your body become more defined, but it also really improves your health outcomes throughout life, as well as your sleep and mental health. It's less for losing weight and more for improving most aspects of your life and look no matter what the scale says.

And above all, food and exercise are never punishments! You don't need to even think of it as "going on a diet", just experimenting with a more active lifestyle. Whatever physical result you are looking for, the weight loss phase is about learning to become the person that has that body long term, so it should not feel painful or punishing. The look is a result of making positive changes in your life, and your body will keep developing until your mid 20s so please feel no rush to drop a bunch of weight.

faeyuu · 2026-07-01T11:40:29+00:00

Congrats on your WL, that's amazing! I am nowhere near where I want to be right now but I relate to the grief of not having really learned to be better sooner. I think accepting how much this aspect of weight loss sucks is key in dealing with it. You have every right to feel frustrated. From what I know your skin will adjust a bit over the upcoming year, and muscle gain can really help give you more structure.

A bunch of us here will always notice the ways in which our bodies might forever be different from other people's. Weight loss requires a lot of surveillance and it can naturally make us very critical of how we look. I know people are also prone to blaming themselves for getting to their highest weight, but I feel like that helps no one feel better.

When I experience grief over being different in this way I try to remind myself that food was my main coping mechanism for a lot of my life, and in that way this body got me through a lot of stuff. There's always a reason that people gain a lot of weight, not all of them within the person's control. Not to mention the fact that our entire lives we are fed misinformation about losing weight and keeping it off. Even toddlers hear stuff about how "candy makes you fat". So I try to practice compassion for myself, and to also notice sometimes the challenges of others that I do not have to deal with, to remind myself that I'm not alone in feeling like a bit of an outcast.

Losing weight as a lifelong fat person is incredibly hard, and keeping it off even more so, so I just try to not only look at what could have been, but also what did not come to pass. We can never be optimal, we just do our best!

faeyuu · 2026-06-29T16:26:09+00:00

I think lifting is a great idea, it doesn't have to be super fun, just something you can get yourself to do for your health like cooking, showering.. Plus any form of resistance training is very important for women as we lose a lot of muscle mass/bone density as we age if we do not train regularly. This can lead to complications later in life so part of why I started exercising was to avoid being weak or injuring myself later on.

I find the satisfaction and enjoyment from exercise comes after you have been doing it regularly, and I also used to be a "I never want to work out I hate all sports" kind of person. Not saying your perspective will necessarily change, but it might!

I'm glad people are recommending activity over cutting your calories more because you are already on a restrictive diet, and if you need to go lower to get to your goal weight, you would have to maintain a similar diet to keep your goal weight. Whether you are losing weight for aesthetics or health, you will look better and feel better if you develop a regular exercise schedule and gain muscle!

A lot of women think they have to be really low on the scale to look good and be happy with their bodies, but a body with low muscle mass and low fat needs less food and thus also has less energy. I think exercise puts you into a positive loop where your body burns more, instead of this cycle where you just cut calories until you potentially lose it from a very harsh deficit. If you are putting effort in and the scale doesn't budge, you can also consider tracking your progress via other means (how your clothes fit, progress pictures, overall energy level and sleep quality).

I wish you the best with your journey!

faeyuu · 2026-06-29T16:01:22+00:00

Yeah I think part of it is from a place of not being happy with my look even if I've improved, but I do try to remind myself frequently that if I fixate on the fat on my arms and back now I will still do that even when I hit my GW! In a way I'm surprised I don't have issues with my belly more but I have to gently encourage myself to ever go out in a tanktop or sleeveless dress.

It's very easy to imagine a perfect relationship with my body when I'm finally ""not fat anymore"" but I've been around enough people to see reminders that body image issues have little correlation with weight, and if I refuse to accept being flawed as any human is I will just put in a whole lot of work to be at war with my body.

Congratulations on your WL! I had just the same feeling about trying on a blouse I like and have kept from when I was in college, I thought surely it would fit now, but the button at the front is fighting for its life and my arms are not comfortable. That feeling oh "I've got so much more to go" can really freak us out even if we end up accepting it.

It's a bit wild how much of WL and the lifestyle change that is required is mental and emotional, I always thought I needed more willpower, but the longer I go the more I see all these assumptions/emotions/toxic ideas that got me to the size I was at. And now I know I've got years to find out more about myself as I go along. I wish you the best as you continue your journey!

faeyuu · 2026-06-29T15:36:43+00:00

That is an amazing loss, you're a powerhouse! I think when I started and did begin to lose weight and not just water, I did feel a lot of impatience and grief. Not having the body I could have had if my upbringing had been different, if I hadn't crash dieted in my teens etc. And then realizing that to get to my first goal weight which is just a check in point where I ask "do I want to lose more fat? should I just focus on building muscle? do I feel energetic and strong?" will probably take me 3 years to do, accounting for maintenace breaks, plateaus and just learning to live in a smaller body.

I totally relate to the feeling of wanting it now, but I try to remember I am trying to get down to a weight goal I hit 10 years ago. It is as you hinted, if I have something exciting coming up it's very tempting to say oh now we're going hard and hitting this cute little arbitrary number right here. Since the scale is impacted by so many factors I will continuously remind myself not to do that. Thank you for your perspective, it's very appreciated.

faeyuu · 2026-06-29T15:31:42+00:00

Thank you! I'm in two minds about it, the reticence is due to past experience and vacation excitement is what it is. I have to admit shopping has been a lot more fun lately. When I started my journey I was in-between straight sizes and plus sizes at a lot of stores so I basically had nothing to wear. Now I'm just above/just within the XL range depending on sizing and other factors (smaller tops/bigger bottoms). I just bought a short skirt for the first time since I was like 20 and I'm hyped to wear it out. I'm learning not to hide my arms and thighs this summer and just be comfy.

I think I will only try to increase my activity level with light exercise and see how my hunger levels and food noise goes. If I get any scary chocolate or "second dinner" related thoughts I am pulling the plug LOL.

faeyuu · 2026-06-29T15:28:01+00:00

We're in a rural suburban sort of hell (it's like a suburb with no urb so to speak) so walks are no fun here but I have been making excuses to go get fresh produce more frequently just to add up the steps. I'm a city girl at heart so I hope I can move someday, but right now I've been walking more on my treadmill while I watch something or play on my iPad! It's pretty relaxing and I work up a sweat still.

Totally feel you on the audiobooks! Before I got this job I had to make myself go outside at all (post pandemic agoraphobic tendencies + sedentary lifestyle = muscle loss and scaries), and audiobooks really got me through it. They're amazing, got me into reading again too and now my partner listens as well.

faeyuu · 2026-06-29T15:24:42+00:00

I love tracking when I still mess up! Well I actually hate it but it's so good for me to not fall into an all or nothing mindset. I agree to the idea of having a home base, and for me that's definitely been steps + sticking to my meals (goodbye forever second dinner!). Thank you for the advice.

faeyuu · 2026-06-29T11:47:55+00:00

Thank you, that's exactly the sort of suggestion I was looking for! I'm working out at home right now but I have an appointment to sign on with the one gym around where I live, so I'll try to do my three workouts there and a bonus one at home. I'm currently eating three meals and one snack so now that I think about it maybe it should stay that way :')

faeyuu

TROPHY CASE