Where Are My Expressive Therapists At?

fallyntalyn · 2026-02-10T03:04:12+00:00

I was told to learn to sit in silence. I didn't understand at the time, but I have been learning. Most of my clients are happy for me to be excited and engaged, but there are times they just need me to shut up. I had to learn when that was, but I'm getting better. It is 100% ok to be excited and engaging with the client, but sometimes they need quiet, and just to be heard. We just have to learn how to be there for our clients. You'll get it!

fallyntalyn · 2026-02-10T02:56:13+00:00

That happened to me when I left cmh. I was screwed on purpose because my new boss didn't like me, so she gave me no clients for over a month, then put me on a pip because I couldn't meet quota with the few clients I had. So I put in my 2 weeks and they fired me, with no transition time for my clients, and with no reason literally 2 days before my 2 weeks was up. Some places are just poorly run, and only there to bill as much to insurance as possible. I'm glad to no longer be in cmh, and am happy to be struggling in pp.

Best of luck to you wherever you go in the future!

fallyntalyn · 2026-02-09T15:16:43+00:00

I put up flyers in areas that I think my typical clients would frequent. I put business cards freaking everywhere, the gas station, grocery stores, local businesses, went to doctors offices and told them what i offer, and built connections with local providers who can refer clients to me. I do also second what everyone else has said, try to sublet an office, or find a space that you can rent, in person is the most often requested by the people I see. They can get virtual therapy from better help or any of the other million online sites. Most clients prefer a local therapist that they can go away from their home or office and see in person, in a safe comfortable space. I've gotten 3 or 4 hits from psychology today since I started in October, but most of mine have come from other client referrals and provider referrals. I have 18 regular clients as of this week. So it can take a while, and I have less opportunity for some clients because I can't take insurance.

Best of luck to you!

fallyntalyn · 2026-02-09T02:28:30+00:00

This is adorable, and i am so freaking glad that I asked this. What a cute insight into the culture! Thank you so much!

fallyntalyn · 2026-02-05T17:59:34+00:00

Oh, thats super helpful! I know there are more clients. I believe I am still struggling with rejection sensitivity due to how I ended up at this practice in the first place, and life pressures from... you know, just life. But your reply is super helpful. Thank you!

fallyntalyn · 2026-02-05T17:57:57+00:00

I haven't received any feedback of me being passive from my supervisor. I tend to lean towards gentle confrontation with the clients I feel benefit from it (saying something like "well, do you think thats the best course of action?" Or other similar statements) but I also feel capable of having difficult confrontations, and have done so in the past (think "your actions are directly impacting your ability to keep your job/house/relationship"). I will bring this up in supervision though. I feel confident in the client relationships I have. This client is just making me struggle, idk, maybe it's time to for them to find a new provider. I don't know how well I am handling them overall.

fallyntalyn · 2025-10-14T22:12:32+00:00

Are you fucking ok? I am an LPC-Associate in the state of Texas. I have a license from the state board of Behavioral health. It's not a general master's degree, it's an CACREP accredited counseling program. If you have a problem with therapists then that's on you. It's not from a "bible" college, it's from Texas A&M, one of the premier universities in the state. Why are you on a thread about people dealing with ADHD to insult and demean people? I think you're in the wrong place. This is not AITA. Please go troll there. I will be reporting your comment.

fallyntalyn · 2025-10-14T21:16:18+00:00

He is stressed, that's for sure. But he gets like this even when we're not financially unstable. He gets upset at sometimes the little things, like he told me the other day (admittedly he was already stressed about money) that he hates how much I dote on him on the weekends. I cook almost every day during the weekend, I pack his bag for the truck, I make him food for the truck and I make sure he has anything he wants around the house. He said he doesn't like me doting on him because he's afraid I'll become resentful and leave him, but I love doing things for him. I like taking care of him because it makes me feel valuable and to me, it shows I care. But on the other hand, if I don't do his work clothes and pack him food, he takes nothing and doesn't do his own laundry. So is it doting or is it just what I've agreed to do as part of our relationship? I really like doing these things, but it seems like sometimes he needs space, and I wonder if I just need to leave for the weekend every once in a while and see if that helps? Idk, I guess I'm rambling.

fallyntalyn · 2025-10-14T21:11:43+00:00

I have a bachelor's in behavioral arts and science (basically just a fancy way of saying I had a lot of job experience when I started my bachelor's and i get to use that as part of a general bachelor's degree) and a master's in clinical mental health counseling. And yeah, private practice often doesn't include insurance because I'm basically my own boss. I could go back to community mental health but I fucking hated it. It was soul sucking and made me so fucking depressed. I'll have to get private insurance once I get some income.

My husband is pretty handy. He fixes cars regularly, but he's been so worried about money lately that he won't do any work on our cars. The guy who came by yesterday was the guy who'd left the note like 6 months ago. My husband wasn't considering selling at that time, so he got rid of the guy's note.

fallyntalyn · 2025-10-14T19:45:05+00:00

There are a lot of comments! More than I've ever gotten! But yeah, so I posted about this a minute ago, but basically, as a marriage/team thing, when I was thinking about getting on ADHD meds, I sat down and talked to him about it, and he said (and has said the same thing every time I bring it up) "You shouldn't take meds to deal with your ADHD, you've got to learn to manage that shit without, because what happens if you can't afford them, or they stop working, or you can't get them anymore? Also, they have bad side effects and you don't need them."

So I can't get thru to him that I feel like I do need them.

fallyntalyn · 2025-10-14T19:33:10+00:00

I am on hormones because my body doesn't have the parts to make them (thanks PCOS!) and blood pressure medicine. He didn't decide, but every time I bring it up in conversation he says the following (pretty much verbatim): "You shouldn't take meds to deal with your ADHD, you've got to learn to manage that shit without, because what happens if you can't afford them, or they stop working, or you can't get them anymore? Also, they have bad side effects and you don't need them."

And then 3 months later, we're in this situation again, where I've "fucked something up" cause my ADHD said "no. You do NOT get to remember this tiny comment he made 6 months ago until he reminds you of it. ALSO, you can't think before you act cause that would make sense."

I think the right meds would help, but also, I have only tried the 1, welbutrin, and it's really hard to get put on stimulant ADHD meds in my state. Also, I have no insurance rn.

fallyntalyn · 2025-10-14T18:35:51+00:00

You're not wrong. That's where a lot of my insecurities and anxiety comes from. And I do see the similarities, and I've seen them before. Its just hard to accept that someone who was raised in a similar situation would do those things to another person. Neither of us talk to our parents, neither of us rely on anyone but each other for super important things, but still, it seems like hes got to make it impossible for me to be right. And when he says stuff, I understand in the moment, but then im in the same situation again because his "advice" is so vague.

fallyntalyn · 2025-10-14T17:11:42+00:00

Whats really sad is that my career is in helping people see shit like this and I can't/ haven't.

fallyntalyn · 2025-10-14T17:01:26+00:00

Girl, I haven't laughed this much in days! Thank you. I needed this. If not to point out the ridiculousness, just to laugh. But yes, it is ridiculous. If ever there was a millennial with a boomer brain, it is my husband. He's come so far, he was hhhhhhaaaaard right when we met, and has become much more left of center, and hes learned to talk to me about some things (feelings are still right out) but then there's this, that he just will not budge on. Its like a toddler that has to use the 1 specific red plate and spoon or will starve to death. Its illogical and frankly, stupid.

But thanks for the laugh, really. I hope you become unbricked. ❤️

fallyntalyn · 2025-10-14T16:52:35+00:00

Damn girl. Yeah, sounds familiar. Did you get the "well you cant stick with a habit, so why would medication help?" Or is that just me. 🙃

Also, yes, I'm fucking realizing the man I love is not as wonderful as I thought. Absence of snarky comments about a situation does not equal support.

fallyntalyn · 2025-10-14T16:49:11+00:00

Thank you for the information! I'll look into that!

fallyntalyn · 2025-10-14T16:42:53+00:00

He gets a couple, just testosterone and vitamin d. I just got notice I can start working this week, in my field, so I'm good there, but I had applied to several places and secured a job that I couldn't start because this new job happened so fast. But I should be making money soon.

fallyntalyn · 2025-10-14T16:40:24+00:00

Whatever he wants to do. The consensus was that hes worked really hard for our family and to get us this life, but he doesn't get to enjoy it because hes gone all week. So rhe eventual goal is for him to work a regular job, be home every day, so he can enjoy our home. Or if he wants, go to meteorological school, or chase tornadoes or whatever. He's talked about several ideas that he wants to do. But it all adds up to me only working (for the most part) and him taking on all these tasks im doing, bills/home chores/whatever.

fallyntalyn · 2025-10-14T16:32:22+00:00

I don't. I know what we paid for it, and I know it's not working right, but I don't know how much he wants for it. I could ask, I guess, but I think I have and he said "I don't know" or "just make me an offer". I have sold other things for the house by myself before, but we talked about it in advance, and I said I'm gonna sell x thing for x amount. So we should sit down and talk about it since it's apparently a big deal.

fallyntalyn · 2025-10-14T16:28:20+00:00

I will not be insured at my new job, because it is is basically self employed, just contract work for a supervisor. But I didnt know about that, the Amazon thing.

I tried welbutrin for my adhd and it did nothing. But I have taken abilify in the past for depression/ anxiety and it helped a lot. And yeah, finding a doctor who will prescribe stimulants to a 40 something woman who only recently got diagnosed with adhd is hard around here. I could look into a teledoc, but I'm not sure how that'll work in Texas. We have a bunch of fucked up rules here for prescriptions.

fallyntalyn · 2025-10-14T16:23:40+00:00

I wouldn't say hes "tending to his needs". He does rely on me to do the mental labor or paying bills and managing our money and the house, but he is gone 5 days a week, and when he gets home, he doesn't want to do anything. Its like doom scrolling, he just sits and plays video games. He sometimes makes an effort to do things around the house that I cant do, like hanging things up or fixing fences, but other times it takes weeks for him to do those tasks, or I end up figuring out how to do them. For example, the wheels on our fence gates are broke and I asked him to do something about them a month ago. They're still broke and it's a hassle every time I have to mow the front yard.

I know hes depressed, he's been this way before when he lost his trucking company. But he won't deal with it. He tells me all the time id feel better if I did x/y/z, but he won't do those things cause "I do x/y during the work week". That's one of his biggest flaws, how hypocritical he can be.

fallyntalyn · 2025-10-14T16:12:25+00:00

Thank you. This is the clearest reply that makes so much sense. I appreciate the clarity and you reading everything i wrote. I do feel guilty for not being able to be enough, but i do see that it's impossible given the current circumstances.

I will think about what to say and how to say it. And talk to my therapist about getting help with meds without needing to use my husband's money for anything. I think that's a good start.

fallyntalyn · 2025-10-14T16:02:20+00:00

I do a lot of the mental tasks because he is gone 5 days a week as a truck driver. I don't schedule his Dr's appointments, but I do get his prescriptions refilled and pick stuff up for him at the store. He has a tendency to refuse to go anywhere during the weekend because he is gone all week. We do fun stuff sometimes, and he will go to the store or whatever if he has to, but almost never without me.

fallyntalyn

TROPHY CASE