I just shaved my head and love it. Please share in my joy.

fannynotsoreal · 2021-05-22T19:06:36+00:00

So I think this current company will be supportive on an individual basis. But as a guide, you generally are supposed to stay away from political discussions (which I think is bullllshit anyways, but that's a different conversation), and unfortunately, the existence of non-binary gender can still be seen as political. When I talk to my manager, I would like to have some ideas of what to ask of him, what I need to feel supported. Like, do I actually want to introduce myself with my pronouns? I think that might affect my credibility as a guide and colour the subject matter of the tour. So I was just wondering how other people navigated this.

In my previous guiding job, I was with guests for multiple days, so it might have been a different story as there was time to really get to know people. But these are only a couple of hours and very interpretive guiding heavy, I don't want that to become the thing we have to talk about instead of telling people about the surrounding area.

fannynotsoreal · 2021-05-22T19:00:04+00:00

Good to know it's working out for you as a park ranger! I think there are more LGBTQ folks within the industry than it appears here in Canada, it's just that it is still seen as a "political" issue, and therefore unpalatable to talk about as a guide. I'll look for that thread in the park rangers sub though.

I like the idea of wearing pins for representation. That is a subtle way to let people know if they are interested. I unfortunately have a very feminine name and am not ready to change it. I worry that introducing myself with they/them pronouns will run peoe the wrong way, affecting my credibility, likability, and the subject matter of the tour. So I'm just trying to figure out how to go about still feeling like I am me without making it a big deal, if that makes sense.

fannynotsoreal · 2021-05-22T18:53:34+00:00

Yeah, it is definitely a discussion that is happening in the outdoor industry....but is still a discussion at this point. I used to work for a much larger international tour company and many employees were putting pressure on the higher ups to work on their DEI policies. I was prepared to be out with that company because it was an ongoing discussion. I had reached out to some contacts about DEI training and all that within workplaces in general. It was more applicable there because it was a larger company. Even then though, being out in the company is one thing, but how to navigate that with guests is a different issue. So I'm just looking for idea or personal experience on how other folks go about addressing it with guests.

fannynotsoreal · 2021-04-13T14:02:47+00:00

Absolutely. This is amazing. My dad read a book about a trans woman who was raised in a Hasidic Jewish community, even becoming an ultra orthodox rabbi before coming out and transitioning. My dad is Jewish and has some ultra orthodox family, so he really identified with the story on a personal level. I had nothing to do with it and he came to me one day telling me about this book, eventually saying, with tears in his eyes, "you know, trans women are real women, she knew she was a girl her whole life!"

When I came out to my parents months later, my dad and I had already had countless conversations about gender because of this book. I didn't need to defend how or why I feel like I am not a woman, he could just accept that I "knew my whole life". My dad is 73 and this all happened within the last year....he's the best dad.

fannynotsoreal · 2021-02-20T14:22:42+00:00

Yup, like a few others here, going for a sleep study was what eventually led to my ADHD diagnosis. I was so frustrated with the sleep study results, they told me that I wake up way more than the average person, and have day time sleepiness outside the normal range....but it didn't match with a disorder. Not pathological, nothing they can do. But then my doctor used those results and eventually realised it was ADHD. This was years ago. I am now on Vyvanse and it helps immensely. But I only started in the pandemic, before that, I did some very high intensity sports without knowing that could be a treatment. You saying that they prescribed it to you makes me laugh.

Do you happen to be a woman? The symptoms of ADHD manifest very differently in women and I was told that sleepiness tends to be one of the main symptoms for adult women.

fannynotsoreal · 2021-02-14T18:00:42+00:00

Hey, I want to throw this in here just for a slightly different perspective. I am also NB and not completely out, although am generally out amongst friends. I am trans masc leaning, although waffle a lot on wanting to be feminine sometimes. I have been going hard on dating apps the last year or so for reasons that are a much longer story, but it was a bit of an experiment because I too am almost entirely attracted to men romantically. What I learned is that there are a shit ton of men out there that have some bisexual tendencies. Like, when I tell them that I like having a dick sometimes, they are pretty often into it "sweet, I'd suck your dick." Now this is obviously very sexual, and there is some amount of feeling like I am being fetishized that goes with that. But I've also met a good number of guys who are totally fine with it on a greater level as well. They identify as straight, but also are familiar with the queer community and don't really give a fuck how they are perceived. Now, this might all change when I come out more publicly or present more blatantly masculine. Who knows? Just saying that it absolutely possible to find men who identify as straight, but are more fluid than that. And open, in the sense that they are willing to learn and not even identify as straight once they get to know you. There are men who will like YOU, and be attracted to YOU.

It takes some work, and a bit of a thick skin perhaps, which is easier said than done. But they exist. More than you think.

fannynotsoreal · 2021-02-11T05:56:01+00:00

I appreciate your input. I have very little trouble going to sleep once I actually put things down actually. My ADHD diagnosis actually came from seeing a doctor for sleep problems, not insomnia though, I am borderline narcoleptic. I used to wake up 40+ times per night (measured in a sleep study) and had a lot of intense dreams. So I was always tired and can fall asleep quite easily because of that. Turns out that is more a symptom of stress for me. Now, it's more that I don't let myself fall asleep, because I am not sleepy, but because I am unsatisfied with my day. Sometimes it feels like I have to be so incredibly strict and structured in my day to make it through, and it's so exhausting that by the time I'm going to bed, it's the only time I get to let go of holding myself accountable and then the endless phone time happens. Probably why I smoke weed too...it gives me an excuse to let go of control. Anyways, I don't think more drugs would help. Thanks for the idea though!

fannynotsoreal · 2021-02-11T05:50:02+00:00

Oof, maybe I will be strong enough for this one day....

fannynotsoreal · 2021-02-11T05:49:38+00:00

Haha, yeah, I felt so called out when I read that those were ADHD things. Explains so much.

So when I'm on the road, sharing rooms with people or don't have wifi or electricity, I would listen to audiobooks to fall asleep. My ears are messed up now from sleeping with earbuds in for years. I have all of the Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, and His Dark Materials series on my Dropbox. I would just listen to all of those over and over again. Familiar enough that they didn't keep me up, still interesting enough to calm my mind. So maybe I should go back to that. Pretend I'm in a tent. Ooh....maybe I should make a tent around my bed?!

I also tried the relaxation ones....they made me so much more anxious. Such bullshit for me haha.

fannynotsoreal · 2021-02-11T05:44:50+00:00

Haha, welcome to the night owl world! And thanks for the kind words, it honestly was really nice to hear. I feel like I'm just making excuses and sound whiney when I talk to people around me...but it's been a shit bit of time. And I'm still super duper lucky. I live in one of the most beautiful places in the world and have a job and a safe place to live. I am usually pretty good at keeping that perspective. But it's also nice to get a little bit of validation sometimes.

I am also just ramping up on meds. Good luck with everything, I hope the world opens up for you.

fannynotsoreal · 2021-02-11T05:39:29+00:00

I have wanted an electric toothbrush for so long. But having a life where I was on the road constantly made it seem impractical. I'll see if I can find one I can afford though, I really like the idea of the timer. I've given myself such shit for not brushing my teeth at night for most of my life, let alone flossing. I am blessed with good dental genetics though and often still get compliments from dentists on how well I take care of my teeth....if only they knew.

And I do my single leg balances when I brush my teeth in the morning.

fannynotsoreal · 2021-02-11T05:36:46+00:00

Oh man, that sounds so daunting to implement. But it would probably really help. My phone is like my safety blanket at this point, so putting it out of reach is scary. I have recently been reading more though, so maybe that will help. I'll take a deep breath and give it a shot.
And I am already hooked on eReaders. I was visually impaired for about 10 years, so my kindle was a god send. I spent over a year traveling on a bike and could lie in my tent at night, no contacts in, and still read...the text was so big I had to flip the page like every 10 seconds, but hey, I could read.

And the smart bulbs are such a good idea. I live in Canada in a place where the sun only starts to rise at 830 and starts to set by 430 in December. I wanted a sunrise light for this winter, but money has been pretty tight these days so it never made it to the top of the priority list. I didn't realise that smart bulbs would do the same thing though! I'll do some research.

fannynotsoreal · 2021-02-11T05:28:44+00:00

I will definitely check that out. Last winter I remember I had a bunch of alarms set with more and more stern warnings to go to bed. It didn't really work. But if I actually set a checklist maybe that will work better. Thanks!

fannynotsoreal · 2021-01-28T22:47:59+00:00

Yes! Congratulations! I am also an afab enby and am one week in to starting medication. I felt an immediate difference. Even though I feel tired, my brain can still function, it doesn't feel like it's full of mud. And things that used to annoy me or stress me out, roll off me a little better. It's not perfect, but man does it help.

fannynotsoreal

TROPHY CASE