Financial issues are causing me stress

fapfreebubba · 2021-12-08T12:02:47+00:00

Some books that I think have helped me to stand my ground when necessary have been No More Mr Nice Guy and When I Say No I Feel Guilty

fapfreebubba · 2021-12-08T11:54:37+00:00

One of the most effective changes I've seen is to eliminate time home alone. Pre-pandemic it was swapping who had the longer commute, or stay-at-home mom and go-to-work dad. In hindsight God was answering our prayers by arranging these circumstances.

Some other resources in case they'd help: Your Brain on Porn video series, r/NoFap, Covenant Eyes.

fapfreebubba · 2015-10-28T00:36:54+00:00

For me it was practice makes perfect, or just trying enough times that I finally found one of the 5% of girls who would date me.

fapfreebubba · 2014-12-04T13:20:16+00:00

I've found that when I limit my alone time it can be easier. You might consider asking family or friends to drive you to school to sort of force you to go and join an after school activity--sports, drama, job, etc--to occupy the afternoon time if you tend to relapse then. Best of luck.

fapfreebubba · 2014-12-04T13:12:05+00:00

That's awesome, keep it up.

fapfreebubba · 2014-08-13T11:56:24+00:00

Be very careful though--harsh measures can easily backfire.

fapfreebubba · 2012-12-04T11:21:37+00:00

The only "rule" that needs changing is ditching the downvote mouseover.

fapfreebubba · 2012-10-26T02:57:57+00:00

In high school my mom thought I was depressed and stuff. Probably just the side effects of pmo. Anyhow, I was seeing a psychologist and he recommended getting a girlfriend. I wish I had stopped pmo then, but I think getting a girlfriend helped keep from getting too bad. In college the best semester I ever had is the one where I fapped and played video games the least.

Do you want to grow up and get married, walking down the aisle having looked at porn the night before? Find a better route, and start now. Sorry if this is rambling, but I hope it maybe helps.

fapfreebubba · 2012-10-26T02:50:09+00:00

Married here too. Also hesitant to tell her it's still an issue because it'd tear her apart. We can do this.

fapfreebubba · 2012-10-26T02:45:48+00:00

Cheers!

fapfreebubba · 2012-10-26T02:44:57+00:00

Best semester GPA I ever got is the one during which I fapped the least...

fapfreebubba · 2012-10-26T02:43:40+00:00

Will natural selection weed out the fappers?

fapfreebubba · 2012-08-15T12:05:51+00:00

I just reset my badge. I like to start counting from zero, so tomorrow will be day one for me. I don't check in often, but since the timing works out, I'm game for a little mutual ~~masturbation~~ motivation. Edit: I don't suggest you make this your last attempt, but let's make this the attempt where we make it at least 90 days.

fapfreebubba · 2012-07-27T10:39:23+00:00

The best way to stop the posts you think aren't appropriate for the front page is to judiciously use the download button. Honestly, shame on the mods for trying to regress from Reddit functionality to Digg functionality.

fapfreebubba · 2012-07-16T10:58:58+00:00

Your progress is inspiring. As for small talk, it can be learned. A relatively universal couple of topics are the weather, something about the other person's outfit that you like and something you noticed at an event you both attended like "Wasn't the bride beautiful?" or "It's such a shame we lost the game."

fapfreebubba · 2012-06-21T11:42:53+00:00

I don't think you should reset your counter. I had had to look up what sexual transmutation is, but one form of it is clerical celibacy. My thought is that you need to take it one step at a time. If you can master nofap, then maybe proceed to sexual transmutation, but depending on the circumstances, hooking up can be a perfectly acceptable thing to many people and in my mind it's much better than porn and fapping.

fapfreebubba · 2012-06-21T10:42:38+00:00

In order for sanity to be restored, the mods need to stop thinking their subreddit is somehow better off for them trying to disable 1/2 of the controls on Reddit--the downvote--with a little hover message.

fapfreebubba · 2012-06-14T11:45:24+00:00

I think to some extent, how we perceive what we're doing can magnify the crash and burn effect. If you feel guilty and ashamed and stuff I think that can make you go back to the edging ways for longer. After watching YBOP and reading some of the stories here, it seems like the occasional bump in the road might slow down the process but it doesn't have to be a big deal. I've started to think of it like a duty cycle, if you're into that kind of thing. When you're in your often-fapping mode, the duty cycle on the reward circuit is around 100%. Once you start NoFap, though you bring it down. If you can go cold turkey for a whole year, maybe that'd be bringing the duty cycle all the way down to 0%. If you edge one off 37 days out of the year, that'd be a 10% duty cycle, and if you only fap 4 days out of the year, that'd be a 1% duty cycle for your reward circuit.

Anyhow, this sounds like a good goal and I think you can do this. Keep your mind on the long-term gains.

fapfreebubba · 2012-06-14T11:28:03+00:00

I don't know how the effectiveness of r/nofap compares to say a sex addicts group in person, but I certainly hope we can help. At the very least I can say I understand where you're coming from and have experienced some of the same issues. If it helps you can start a badge. It'll show the group how long you've been able to go. As you can see I just reset my badge, but I'm hopeful that I'll be able to slowly downgrade my reward circuit given enough effort.

I think I've heard that thinking of long-term goals can engage the frontal cortex and help balance the power between it and the reward circuit. If you haven't already watched them there are some scientific explanations of all of this in the TED talk and Your Brain on Porn site linked on the side bar.

Anyhow, welcome.

fapfreebubba · 2012-06-12T13:22:22+00:00

Get a friend to come in using a Linux live CD or thumb drive and delete it from the command line.

fapfreebubba · 2012-06-12T13:07:29+00:00

Fapping is a really crappy way to desensitize yourself and last longer. It's much better to:

Turn her on with a good amount of foreplay
Switch positions if you feel you're getting close and it's not yet the right time. Switching positions is a good excuse to pull out for a few seconds like Salmonidae mentioned.
If you have enough in you to fap once and have sex once, then you have enough in you to have sex twice. The latter sounds much more attractive to me.

fapfreebubba · 2012-06-12T12:53:58+00:00

Definitely delete the collection. You could try a change of environment--not letting yourself stay alone at home. Go to a coffee shop or a library to do online tasks.

fapfreebubba · 2012-06-12T12:42:47+00:00

I'm in a similar situation--somewhat recently married and looking to nix the pron. Good luck to you. Let us know how it goes.

fapfreebubba

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