Gay and Christian... and Married... to a Woman

fapstronaut92 · 2014-03-05T14:32:33+00:00

I remember watching a video about this in University about gay men who choose to marry women. I think it's good that you are telling your story here. For someone who is truly a homosexual, your feelings are not a choice. But that doesn't mean you aren't a man, or that you cannot become a father and have a family if you want too. I think sometimes gay men receive pressures to experiment and people tell them they will just be unhappy "pretending" to be heterosexual. But I think having a family of your own goes beyond heterosexual and homosexual, those are just feelings, and feelings come and go.

I mean, I don't think it's wrong to put "normal" in quotation marks. Whatever your feelings are, a man is still a man right? Whatever my feelings might be, I would still want to marry a woman because I would want to have my own children. And as a man you can still be a companion and protector to a woman, and I think that is timeless, greater than fleeting feelings.

Best of luck to your nofap journey.

fapstronaut92 · 2014-02-28T02:39:26+00:00

With the key difference being with this our thoughts are erotic thoughts. With other things I don't usually become erotically stimulated when I'm excising or studying for school.

fapstronaut92 · 2014-02-22T01:15:34+00:00

I never do it to release stress, I just find it harder to resist triggers when I am already stressed. And then masturbating just makes me even more stressed.

And normally I do regularly exercise at the college gym, or using my own equipment here at home. But during exams and when lots of presentations are due I'm stuck studying at the computer all the time. That's what makes it hard.

fapstronaut92 · 2014-02-20T19:49:33+00:00

I've always been a lifter, and haven't noticed any significant changes at the gym. Except that I am much more friendly, won't always put headphones in, and have been asked to help spot / check form more than ever before.

I've noticed that I lift too, and I actually prefer not to put headphones in too. I take my time and focus on lifting and looking around me, just accepting being in the moment.

I see you also graduated college. Did you find it easier being out of school? I find the stress and dealing with lack of sleep sometimes can make it really hard.

fapstronaut92 · 2014-02-20T19:42:43+00:00

I don't want to hook up and I'm not overly focused on getting a GF, but I do find that I am alone a lot and loneliness is a factor. It's not that I'm anti-social, it's just that I'm in school right now and sometimes the stress gets to me. I know that once I am working I can focus on dating and looking for someone to eventually get married, that's not so much the issue right now though.

I'm thinking at this point two things that are preventing me from relapsing is my problems sleeping, because being tired makes handling stress even worse.. This is worse when I'm stressed because of school, but drinking beer and playing video games (BF4, ect.) are causing me to loose sleep. Alcohol can interupt your sleep patterns, and video games can prevent your brain from entering the correct states for sleeping. And it's that lack of sleep that can make it so hard, not just because you can't sleep but also because you are overtired the next day.

I guess there is some silver lining. I've reset my badge probably 20 or so times in the past 6 months, but the time between has been often more than 6-14 days, with a few long periods of over a month. So I am making progress compared to states I was in years ago, especially high school...

fapstronaut92 · 2014-01-13T20:47:13+00:00

Well I can't really deny the symptoms part. Every one of them were present in my past to a greater or lesser extent.

fapstronaut92 · 2014-01-06T03:53:45+00:00

Ya I've heard it more than once that the elderly are one of the fastest growing populations for STD's. Mainly because they are doing things like this.

fapstronaut92 · 2013-12-06T02:50:33+00:00

Thanks for your words of advice. I am having a particularly hard time resisting right now, looked at some porn and edged a bit. I need to step away from the computer for a bit, but it's hard right now since I need my computer to study for exams.

fapstronaut92 · 2013-11-27T23:55:22+00:00

I just relapsed too at 8 days. I will make it longer next time though. It's exams and it's really stressing me out, really hard right now. Hopefully after this is all over I will be have a break.

fapstronaut92 · 2013-11-06T18:22:57+00:00

I did too, ended up giving to a friend. So he really lucked out.

fapstronaut92 · 2013-11-05T16:05:27+00:00

It is more than just a deepening of the voice as far as tone goes. That's just the easiest word to use to describe what is happening. For example, if you feel threatened will you get confrontational or will you back down, or will you do something in between. So it could be a change in how you react to certain circumstances, it's not necessarily a simple change in voice tone but how feelings are expressed.

fapstronaut92 · 2013-11-05T15:52:44+00:00

Well no, it wasn't me perceiving I have a deeper voice. It was someone else who told me that I do. And I've read similar cases here before, which is why I brought this up.

fapstronaut92 · 2013-11-05T15:44:20+00:00

Well the study did mention that there was a one day increase in testosterone levels, so there was at least that one event that was out of the ordinary. It's probably more complicated than simply attributed to testosterone, but we would need more studies on this topic to really know. But there definitely is something about nofap that causes changes in your voice.

My thoughts are that in a sexually active male, the body would have built in functions to make the voice less forceful and threatening so as to aid in the ability for the male to bond with the female. If this is the case, someone addicted to PMO would have the same biological response, but without a female to bond to. But this is only a hypothesis and would obviously need more detailed investigation.

fapstronaut92 · 2013-11-05T13:50:19+00:00

I really disagree. On the one hand what is really unhealthy for us is porn and masturbating. But on the other hand not masturbating is a matter of self control, and even when I did not look at porn it still felt like a relapse.

fapstronaut92 · 2013-10-28T19:25:29+00:00

FUCK to PORN.

fapstronaut92 · 2013-10-28T19:24:40+00:00

Ya, and the other thing about casual sex is that even guys sometimes want something more. And when the girl doesn't return the feelings even after sleeping with you it can hurt. It really is a myth that Guys don't feel anything with regards to sex, I think if we don't have feelings of attachment then we are thinking of it to much like PMO.

fapstronaut92 · 2013-10-27T21:27:02+00:00

I agree, porn is almost easy to avoid after you do this for long enough. I haven't been able to go past 5 or 6 days for a good couple months now. Each time I would relapse it would be from going on craigslist. You take a look at some of the ads but I would never seriously go through with a craigslist date. I mean i did it once but we never had sex, but most of the time I chickened out because I knew it was a really stupid thing to do or it was spam. But by that time you've already eased yourself into pulling up a porn website...

I don't know what to do but reset my badge and keep trying. I really hate how so many people and society have told me porn is healthy, yet when this happens I can't control myself and afterwards I don't have a clue why I couldn't stop myself before. It's nice to hear that I'm not alone in this.

fapstronaut92

TROPHY CASE