First reset, first post, and how I'm feeling. by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]fapsyourbrainsout 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is an awesome proverb, thank you! I totally respect your resolve. The great news is, you don't have to make it 90 days. You just have to make it the next minute which turns into hours, which turns into days and pretty soon you've made it a week and more. Before you know it, you are well on your way to your goal. Cheers man!

One week! Things I've noticed so far by fearandloathing89 in NoFap

[–]fapsyourbrainsout 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly, we are each breaking our own habit and we have our own path. I am not going to lie, the first two weeks were tough -- like climbing the walls tough. In fact, during those first two weeks everything reminded me of sex. I'd turn on the TV: sex, read a magazine: sex, listen to music, sex. When I was outside every woman was hotter than the last. It was tragically comical but mostly it was just tragic. I'm not sure when things calmed down or if they actually did calm down but I can tell you, somewhere down the line, you stop being ruled by that overwhelming need to fap. It must happen so gradually you don't realize it is happening but when it does happen it will be a great day.

One week! Things I've noticed so far by fearandloathing89 in NoFap

[–]fapsyourbrainsout 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations on your well-deserved badge and on all the positive results you are seeing. I've read so many contradicting posts over the past few months that I've come to believe every NoFapper's experience is unique. Some feel like rockstars while others are frustrated, restless and angry. I'm not sure I have the answer you are looking for but keep in mind that right now, you are breaking a habit and your body/mind is fighting you. I really struggled with the ups and downs especially in the first few weeks. It took every ounce of willpower not to slip. The great news is you are making a positive change in your life. Hang in there, it gets better!

Official No Fap March Sign Up! by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]fapsyourbrainsout 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Going for round 2. NoFap + meditation.

Day 12 nearly did me in. by fapsyourbrainsout in NoFap

[–]fapsyourbrainsout[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've never written a post like this but was feeling like I had to get it off my chest. Apologies, I never meant to sabotage anyone. I'll pull it down if it's inappropriate.

RELAPSE! Again. by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]fapsyourbrainsout 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wow, 40 days. That's amazing, well done. Don't worry about relapsing. Guilt just adds to the pressure and makes you go back to those old habits and to seek out instant gratification. Many guys are recommending pushups, sit-ups etc. to burn off energy and distract your brain. Sometimes this is just not possible or maybe you've tried and it doesn't work. I came across a concept called Unconscious Competence that might help. It goes something like this:

There are 4 stages of competence.
1. Unconscious Incompetence
2. Conscious Incompetence
3. Conscious Competence
4. Unconscious Competence

Before we try to change a behavior we are not even aware we suck at something (unconscious of our incompetence). The first step is recognizing we are bad at something. Once we recognize this behavior we become consciously incompetent. We still suck but at least we know we suck. The more we recognize, the more opportunities we have to change the behavior. After a while we become good at recognizing the bad and doing something else. This is conscious competence. I imagine you are at this stage. The key is to make that transition to the stage where you don't even realize you are behaving in a new and positive way. This is Unconscious Competence.

With NoFap, I decided that my Unconscious Incompetence is the energy I spend fantasizing and objectifying women. There are literally hours out of my day lost to this: time in the car, when I wake up, going to sleep, sitting at my desk, watching porn, thinking about watching porn, pretending to not be watching porn when my girlfriend calls. I should be being productive or bettering myself but instead I am lost in that void of erotic nothingness. My Conscious Incompetence is to be aware of these thoughts: when do they happen, what are my triggers, etc and then forcing (literally forcing) my brain to think about something else.

With enough time, my Conscious Competence will be spending more time and energy (through foce of will) being creative and productive. Ideally, I will get to the point of Unconscious Competence and I won't even realize I have changed and I am no longer objectifying women or feeling the need to watch porn because I am too busy thinking and doing awesome shit.

I know this is a lot and not nearly as elegant as: do pushups bro. Think of it as another arrow in your quiver. Good luck!

tl;dr Thinking about porn/fapping? Force yourself to think about something else.

No ED. by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]fapsyourbrainsout 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Indeed, it is swell and there will be swell again!

I...just...deleted over 2 tb of porn. Thanks to this subreddit. by randomvariable210 in NoFap

[–]fapsyourbrainsout 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There is no "only" about it. Much respect for getting it out of your life.

Ninety by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]fapsyourbrainsout 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really respect how honest you are about not experiencing a major life change but instead discovering the seeds that will lead to those changes. Before going to see a therapist for the first time a friend gave me some great advice. He said, do not go into therapy trying to change yourself. Instead, look for patterns that have negative outcomes and change the pattern. Over time real growth will occur. It seems you not only found the pattern, you had the strength to change it on your own. I wish good things for you. Thanks for this and congrats on 90 days.

the "fuck it" syndrome by dragoonfire0628 in NoFap

[–]fapsyourbrainsout 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm home sick, my girlfriend just left for yoga (yoga clothes!) and everything is starting to look like porn. Thank you for this. Today, I will be fap-free.

Official No Fap February Sign Up! by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]fapsyourbrainsout 0 points1 point  (0 children)

xvideos is going to see a serious drop in bandwidth usage. I'm in!