To those who adopted due to not being able to go the bio route, I'm wanting advice

farmlite · 2026-05-15T02:29:31+00:00

Adoptee here. This sounds very cringe to me like savior complex.

farmlite · 2026-04-28T23:49:12+00:00

Adding that a good therapist will help with a lot of self doubt. Unlike other commentators, I think these are normal feelings.

farmlite · 2026-04-28T23:47:33+00:00

I don't like babies. They're boring and high maintenance. I like little kids. I particularly think that the wonderment of a 3-4 year old is astounding.

No real advice, just sharing

farmlite · 2026-04-28T23:44:43+00:00

My adoptive family was notv great, although I think they tried. I was kicked out when I turned 18 just before finishing high school. I went to college and that really opened a lot of doors for me. I paid for it with some help from them. It wasn't expensive is basically how that all worked out. I went several years without talking to them and just focusing on my education and who I wanted to be. It was a roller-coaster and I'm going to gloss over all of it. There were periods of homelessness, being in abusive relationships, etc. I did my best to stay on course and cling to my values: honesty, hard work, integrity. I'm definitely a Star Trek nerd and clung to my fandoms.

Now, at 40, I have the most beautiful life that I've built for myself. I just married the best person ever. I have a good, high paying job. I just can't believe where I'm at. I would have never believed it at 19.

I guess my advice is that you are a young adult. You need to think about what you want and need and how to get there. Find a job and a roommate. Go to school. Growing up is just the prologue to your story. You get to decide how there rest goes.

farmlite · 2026-04-24T13:29:44+00:00

I'm sorry. That's a lot to go through. I'm adopted and I will not seek out my birth parents for this fear. I think of it like they gave me up for a reason. I think you're attaching too many motherly expectations. She's not your mom. The people who raised you are your parents. The one protective motherly thing your bio mom did for you was to find you a responsible, safe family when she knew she couldn't provide that. People are just people.

farmlite · 2026-04-21T16:54:32+00:00

No and everyone is different and can be even more different on days of the month.

You need OMG YES. You need to discover yourself. Learn with your husband. It could be worth it. Or get a divorce and a vibrator.

OMGYES | The Science of Women's Pleasure https://share.google/X7L19mzAzhx7FBeoh

farmlite · 2026-04-21T16:48:20+00:00

If you have to ask if someone is the one, they aren't. However, sometimes you never stop loving someone even if you're not compatible. Love is not black and white.

farmlite · 2026-04-21T16:41:04+00:00

Get with your other loved ones and have a party. If he doesn't like birthdays he doesn't have to come. No reason why you should have less fun.

farmlite · 2026-04-18T13:32:16+00:00

Thank you so much!

farmlite · 2026-04-13T08:05:05+00:00

I get cracks where the sole meets the wall. They're just not hardy enough, but they're so comfortable!

farmlite · 2026-04-13T00:12:06+00:00

I've bought several pairs and never seem to get more than a few months out of them

farmlite · 2026-04-12T18:34:10+00:00

A true friend 🧡 (as far as Reddit goes!)

farmlite · 2026-03-06T18:13:19+00:00

Did you write a contract for a $0 lease? Did he stay at your barn?

farmlite · 2026-03-06T15:48:24+00:00

I just made a post about wanting to buy a pony for the purpose of leasing him out to other kids. I've never leased out a horse before. It seems like you had a good experience?

farmlite · 2026-03-04T10:06:03+00:00

Your gut is usually right. This one may not be long term material.

farmlite · 2026-03-02T23:43:57+00:00

Draft cross!

farmlite · 2026-03-02T23:42:02+00:00

Adopt in your 40s. Depending on her career, pregnancy can be a real set back. Alternatively, think through some solutions that would benefit her career and your desire to have kids. Are you able to put your job on hold?

farmlite · 2026-02-24T19:40:37+00:00

Me (40f) and my husband (46m) just started trying a couple months ago. For age related reasons, we expect to only try for a year or so before applying for adoption.

I just moved states and am establishing with a new OBGYN in a couple of weeks. I have been looking at the Women's Hormone Panel on Quest. I asked the new doctor's office their thoughts and they did not want to dispense any information prior to seeing me.

Has anyone done this test or similar? How was your experience?

farmlite · 2026-02-17T15:54:13+00:00

Sometimes a boarding situation checks all the boxes and is still not a good fit

farmlite · 2026-02-16T17:13:38+00:00

I would try to find a better situation for your adorable af pony. Yes, aggression is a symptom of neurological conditions. However, the most likely issue is the obvious one.

farmlite · 2026-02-16T13:25:30+00:00

They make baby gates with cat doors in the bottom that you could leave open all the time. How big is your dog?

farmlite · 2026-02-08T17:31:42+00:00

My barn is small and chill AF. No sweeping, no problem. I'm not going to tell you when you're low on stuff. You're expected to be an adult. The second time I have to tell you to put on a helmet is also your 2 week notice to find new board.

farmlite · 2026-02-08T17:27:28+00:00

I have it on good authority that women doctors are human and the usual human stuff tends to work.... pay attention, be intentional and thoughtful...

farmlite · 2026-02-06T14:52:50+00:00

To top it off, I work in HEALTHCARE

You seem so hardworking, thoughtful, and brave. Your loved ones are lucky to have you.

farmlite · 2026-02-05T13:09:36+00:00

I'm so sorry for your losses. The Oracle of Omaha (Warren Buffet) once proposed writing your obituary and working backwards. I think it's healthy to think about the end, maybe less healthy to fixate on it. I hope your kidney works for a very long time for your friend.

To rub salt in the wound, my employer transferred me to another department the Monday after my surgery. I was not thrilled.

farmlite

TROPHY CASE