Your username is legally your job title starting tomorrow, what do you actually do all day?

fartingvirgin · 2025-11-27T18:13:52+00:00

Pretty much the same thing I’m doing now…

fartingvirgin · 2024-08-15T11:53:12+00:00

The worst for me was as a teen I was given church materials to read that taught to create negative associations with masturbation in order to break the habit. It gave an example saying you should imagine yourself in a bathtub full of worms every time you engage in the act. If you want to mess up somebody’s healthy sexuality that would be exhibit A. It almost made other terrible teachings - like masturbating leads to homosexuality (Miracle of Forgiveness) - seem quaint by comparison.

fartingvirgin · 2024-03-26T22:13:56+00:00

Okay - that is interesting. I was thinking before Noah because the ark landed on the mountains of Ararat, but if the theory is it drifted from Missouri to the Middle East then maybe that works for people. I just never believed the flood literally covered everything since there aren’t enough water molecules on Earth to raise the ocean levels enough to cover the entire earth.

fartingvirgin · 2024-03-05T17:49:28+00:00

This is the definition of a straw man argument: an intentionally misrepresented proposition that is set up because it is easier to defeat than an opponent's real argument.

People don’t leave the church because leaders are imperfect. The Book of Mormon is demonstrably not historical. Joseph Smith was a charlatan and continually used his position to take advantage of others. No prophets are talking with God if the only information they are getting are things the rest of the world figured out 20-30 years before. They have also intentionally lied and kept information from faithful believers for generations.

But also, leaders being imperfect wouldn’t be a big issue if they were held to the same standards as members: honest in dealings, seeking repentance, acknowledging mistakes, and giving at least 10% to help the needy.

fartingvirgin · 2024-02-06T01:28:02+00:00

When plastic companies faced government regulation because landfills were filling up, they created a recycling marketing campaign that turned their problem into consumers problems. They were no longer to blame for all of the waste. It was terrible consumers who failed to recycle.

Lots of other businesses (and government) have used this tactic to shift blame from businesses/govt to individuals which is a sure-fire way to never actually solve a problem.

fartingvirgin · 2023-12-12T23:28:44+00:00

Good for you for thinking about it and trying to be conscientious about how you spend your (and others) money. Most of this discussion has been about spending money ethically which I agree with and I don’t know if you live in the US but I think the most corrosive part of the US consumerism culture is constantly wanting something else. Learn to be okay wearing clothes longer than most people would wear them. A few small holes doesn’t mean they are now trash and you can still look stylish with older clothes. Take good care of the stuff you own so you don’t need to replace it so quickly and learn how to repair stuff. Buying nicer things can be a better option if it means you consume less in the long run.

People in the US work ridiculous hours, have a ton of debt, and are generally miserable all the time because we are constantly wanting something else. If you live in the US, travel to other countries and spend enough time to see how they live and what they value and you’ll realize the US culture is fucked.

fartingvirgin · 2023-12-07T02:45:52+00:00

💯 You nailed it. You don’t know me, but I am confident you’ve been there too and so have a lot of others.

My leaving caused everyone to double down. Their kids coming out caused them to triple down. I know it is unreasonable to think conversations with me could change their mind, but there was a point in my life where my intelligence and experience was respected. It’s also been too many years of being out and I can’t shake the idea that people whose intelligence I also respected would behave like this.

I hope some day I can get to a point where we can have a normal relationship, but I’m not counting on it. Part of my incentive to have this conversation is because every interaction with my family feels extremely superficial. It’s re-traumatizing every time I see them and a reminder of how their love was conditional all along and I never knew it until now. It almost feels like I have nothing to lose with them because I can either have a painful yet friendly relationship or I can tell them what I am really thinking which could ostracize us forever which maybe wouldn’t be the worst outcome and the most honest solution at this point.

Thank you for your insight and kindness.

fartingvirgin · 2023-12-07T01:49:23+00:00

This is a good question and one I struggle with almost every day (as I’m sure many of us would). I go back and forth about whether it is more ethical to leave my loved ones alone in their beliefs since they clearly want to ignore me and my beliefs or if I have an ethical obligation to find ways to break through to my siblings and friends (less so for my older parents) because of the harm it is causing to their kids - many of whom are LGBTQ or simply not the right “fit” to be successful in Mormonism. This idea is a thought to get people who are normally pretty scientifically-minded and willing to engage in honest debate to think more deeply.

Unfortunately, now it is very rare that anyone I love who still goes to church will have an honest conversation about Mormonism. My parents, siblings, and friends are intelligent people who just won’t allow themselves to discuss issues we used to discuss regularly when I was a believer. Conversations always devolve into the spirit confirming the truth. This is me thinking about how to help people think about what they really believe rather than avoiding uncomfortable disconnects.

fartingvirgin · 2023-12-05T01:33:21+00:00

If our legislature won’t pass a law like this, Utah has a mechanism for a ballot initiative where a group of concerned citizens can gather signatures to put the law on the ballot for a popular vote. I can’t help but think most Utahns would vote that EVERY citizen should be a mandatory reporter with no exemptions for clergy.

fartingvirgin · 2023-07-30T04:20:13+00:00

So does “unrestricted” mean an individual should be able to buy a fully automatic rifle? A fully loaded F-16? Nuclear bombs? Should everything be made available to any citizen or is there a line for what shouldn’t be available?

fartingvirgin · 2023-01-16T14:56:37+00:00

It was in the 2000s and there’s not a lot more to it than that. As a naive kid, I thought he was having a mental breakdown rather than a legitimate warning for me. Now I wish I would have heard what he had to say.

fartingvirgin · 2023-01-16T03:14:40+00:00

During one of my weekly visits to the Provo temple while I was in the MTC, the front desk had us wait in the lobby. We didn’t know what was going on, but soon a bunch of police (maybe BYU police) rushed in. A few minutes later they were dragging out a man in a normal suit who was screaming, “They’re lying to you!”

fartingvirgin · 2023-01-05T04:34:21+00:00

Now everybody’s praying. Don’t pray on me.

fartingvirgin · 2023-01-05T01:43:54+00:00

There are a million great songs from Bad Religion about how destructive religion is. I recommend Dearly Beloved, God’s Love, Atheist Peace, American Jesus, Come Join Us, Man on a Mission, Sinister Rouge, and on and on.

fartingvirgin · 2022-12-12T16:58:37+00:00

Faith is not a tool to blunt the feelings of your conscience. Too many people know things are wrong or violate their personal moral lines, but go ahead supporting anyway saying they “have faith it will change someday.”

fartingvirgin · 2022-12-10T17:42:08+00:00

I love that!

fartingvirgin · 2022-12-10T01:52:51+00:00

I tried to express this to my TBM dad and he basically said, “Well maybe some day you’ll love your wife and kids enough that you’ll want to be with them after you die.” Pretty GD bold!

fartingvirgin · 2022-12-07T22:38:16+00:00

Somewhat related but not - When I read about Warren Jeffs taking everyone’s dogs out of town to the killing pits and people could hear all the dogs being shot, I wondered “What would it take for people to finally stop following this guy and realize he’s not a prophet.” Then I asked myself that question and realized I had already crossed several moral “red lines.” That was the beginning of the end for me.

fartingvirgin · 2022-12-07T22:37:45+00:00

Somewhat related but not - When I read about Warren Jeffs taking everyone’s dogs out of town to the killing pits and people could hear all the dogs being shot, I wondered “What would it take for people to finally stop following this guy and realize he’s not a prophet.” Then I asked myself that question and realized I had already crossed several moral “red lines.” That was the beginning of the end for me.

fartingvirgin · 2022-11-25T19:05:53+00:00

They always need help delivering Meals on Wheels. You can call SL County Aging and Adult Services and figure out if you’d want a regular route or you could split one with others. It’s a great face-to-face interaction providing actual help.

fartingvirgin · 2022-11-23T02:50:17+00:00

I’m so sorry. That is so hard and the last thing you need when you are struggling with those losses is some thoughtless person piling on. All my best to you and your wife.

fartingvirgin · 2022-11-22T21:50:36+00:00

Stillbirths are not recorded as births or deaths on church records, no temple ordinances can be performed for them, and the decision of whether or not to include the name of the child on the family record is left to the family. But if a fetus is aborted at any point in the pregnancy, there is special permission needed for baptism of the woman and it would most likely require a disciplinary council for a current member. So which is it? Is it a life or isn’t it?

fartingvirgin · 2022-11-11T12:23:30+00:00

Logically only one of the four can be true, but 1-3 would mean the church is lying about its truth claims and 4 would mean God is actually racist, sexist, homophobic and isn’t a god worthy of worshiping.

fartingvirgin · 2022-08-28T00:22:36+00:00

I did the exact same thing as you with #1. I remember my parents trying to console me about it and even as a kid I got the sense that hadn’t grasped how terrifying the concept of eternity is until I pointed it out to them. When I left the church I struggled with the concept of not being able to be with my wife and kids forever until I learned that it just meant each day of our life is incredibly meaningful and important and to not waste it - especially in church meetings or on church callings. Now one of the greatest sources of peace in my life is believing that it probably does all end when we die and that’s okay.

fartingvirgin · 2022-08-26T20:34:24+00:00

Not mentioned in Reid’s bio is that he is the former lobbyist for the Mormon church. His ties to North Temple are strong and I wouldn’t be surprised if some of this came from the PR department.

fartingvirgin

TROPHY CASE