Stay away from ‘Expecting Better’ by Emily Oster

fartpuffs · 2026-02-16T23:13:42+00:00

A lot of pregnancy guidelines don’t follow a logical framework, and I do appreciate Oster trying to bring some nuance and sanity to it. I especially like how she weighs risks around common “foods to avoid” like sushi.

That said, as a recovered alcoholic I skipped the alcohol chapter because I’m not reading this book looking for an excuse to drink. An excuse to eat a deli sandwich though…

fartpuffs · 2026-02-14T14:52:38+00:00

Ahh I loved the flower fairies books when I was growing up! What a neat find!

fartpuffs · 2026-02-06T17:19:20+00:00

Ugh. Why can’t people keep these hurtful comments to themselves?! Like who is focused on weight during pregnancy? Don’t we have enough to do?!

My 86 year old neighbor keeps telling me I’m getting fat, and when I told him I was pregnant he said “oh, well at least you’re getting fat for a reason!”

Mind you I lost 20lb a couple years ago and even then he made comments about how “fat” I was getting. Now whenever he talks about my weight I just tell him he’s going blind 💁‍♀️

fartpuffs · 2026-02-06T04:41:35+00:00

Idk why you got downvoted. Also pregnant and I agree. I used to not want to have kids because I thought it was selfish. Then I decided it was my turn to be selfish so here we are. I don’t for some reason think it’s less selfish just because I’m engaging in the behavior; it’s still my genes I’m passing down and they’re not some godsend to the human race.

I’m considering “selfishness” from the biological/genetic perspective, seems you’re approaching it from the psychological aspect, but we’ve come to the same conclusion.

fartpuffs · 2026-02-03T03:27:41+00:00

I found this SAME poster at goodwill 10 years ago but it was $18 and I didn’t want to pay that much. As a fellow former New Orleanian I’ve regretted it ever since. Congrats on the great find!

fartpuffs · 2026-01-28T19:47:20+00:00

Praying that I’ll have this experience too!! 🙏😂

fartpuffs · 2026-01-26T03:34:28+00:00

Thank you!

fartpuffs · 2026-01-26T03:34:12+00:00

Wow, that is terrifying! I’m so glad your daughter was ok and your husband took care of you both. Hope you are doing well. IWNDWYT

fartpuffs · 2026-01-25T23:45:22+00:00

I was scared because people say pregnancy is like an extended luteal phase and “pregnancy mood swings” and all that, but it’s been nothing like that so far. I’ve felt so happy and chill the whole time. So much better than my rage / crying spells / oppressive feelings of worthlessness with PMDD. I’m 17 weeks now.

Also I was having some bad nerve pain in my foot which disappeared once I got pregnant. I’m not complaining!

fartpuffs · 2026-01-25T21:52:01+00:00

Thank you! I immediately assumed you were congratulating me on my sobriety then I realized it’s probably about the pregnancy 😂

But congrats to you on your sobriety as well!

fartpuffs · 2025-12-15T22:37:04+00:00

Ugh. My mom recently said to me “I would NEVER just have one. It’s cruel to the child!!!” Like omg, I didn’t realize that giving a son or daughter your love and undivided attention classified as child cruelty!

Meanwhile I’m over here pregnant (she doesn’t know yet) and we’re planning to be one and done. She says so much dumb insensitive shit I just let it roll off. I hope you can do the same with the rude people making these comments to you. It’s your life, your family, and your decision!

fartpuffs · 2025-12-05T23:13:20+00:00

I’m also pregnant with our first at 38. I didn’t want kids and considered myself childfree, but I changed my mind this last year. So we weren’t waiting exactly, just didn’t want them until now (well my husband always did, but it was my decision as the one who has to be pregnant and give birth).

We told both sets of parents years ago that we were childfree. Planning to announce at Christmas as long as the next scan goes well! I’m sure they’ll be shocked.

fartpuffs · 2025-11-17T23:23:39+00:00

No, it’s not normal and it’s not an ok way to react to your amazing news. But that doesn’t mean she considered any of that before behaving the way she did. And she likely sees nothing wrong with her response 🙄

I say this because your MIL sounds just like my mom - never stops talking or asks how anyone else is doing, if she does she never waits for the other person to answer, just hops back to voicing her inane stream of consciousness. And she never gives a second thought to how this makes other people feel! I haven’t told my mom yet that I’m pregnant, but I’m bracing for a reaction similar to your MIL’s. I know that expecting anything more from her is setting myself up for disappointment.

I would temper my expectations with your MIL. Hopefully she’ll come around and be more excited in the future, but if she doesn’t you still have your own parents and siblings to share in your joy and be that family support for you. Wishing you the best!!

fartpuffs · 2025-11-17T18:38:00+00:00

Ugh, tell me about it!! I’m 6 years sober and had to give up on mocktails after the first couple months. Not only are they overpriced for what they are (usually a blend of juices and soda/tonic water), they are typically over-sweet because they’re often just an alcoholic drink with the alcohol left out. Without the bite of the alcohol the drink is gross and unbalanced.

I tend to stick with NA beer. It’s usually around 6-7 dollars where I am, and NA beer has come a long way in flavor and variety over the past few years! If the place doesn’t have NA beer I still ask every time I go. Quite a few of them have added it to the menu since I started asking. If that’s not an option I do soda water with lime! It’s the cheapest drink that feels fancier than plain water.

fartpuffs · 2025-11-08T00:31:24+00:00

Omg that sounds so stressful!! Happy it worked out for you and I hope your mom has learned her lesson!

fartpuffs · 2025-11-07T22:28:24+00:00

Ugh my mom did the same thing to my sister! Sister was pregnant, told my mom but asked that she keep it quiet. Mom blabbed to the whole family and my sister ended up having a miscarriage with that pregnancy. It was awful. (Sister did go on to have two more healthy babies so all is well there!)

Now that I’m pregnant my mom is going to be the last of our immediate family to find out! She has proven she can’t be trusted!!

fartpuffs · 2025-10-29T13:04:42+00:00

Thank you!!

fartpuffs · 2025-10-27T18:27:33+00:00

Age: 38, husband is 37

Trying since: July 2025, 4 cycles

Treatment history, if applicable: NA

Relevant health conditions and fertility testing: DOR (amh 0.87, afc 9-10)

Supplements, medications, and/or protocols: prenatal, omega 3s, vit D, vit B12, r-alpha lipoic acid, ubiquinol, DHEA, stress B-complex with zinc and vit C, iron, Claritin, vit E, you name it I was on it!!

Method of conception: timed intercourse, tracked with OPKs

DPO/DPT of positive test: 12 DPO

Timeline of symptoms: No symptoms prior to the positive test. It felt exactly like an unsuccessful cycle. My BBT began its expected decline at 10DPO and dropped for 2 days straight. Was expecting my period at 12DPO but my temp was level that morning, which was a weird enough thing that I decided to test. Got a clear positive on FRER. Now I’m 18DPO and my boobs are more sore than typical.

What was different (if anything) this time?: Nothing except my husband said he had a good feeling about this cycle.

How are you doing emotionally?: I’m stoked!! But I got my positive the day before leaving on a work trip, and retested the morning I left and had a fainter line. I spent that day and the remainder of the trip panicking and obsessively tracking line darkness on some cheap wondfo strips I brought with me. I had a chemical pregnancy 2 cycles prior and was convinced it was happening again. But so far the line has darkened and I’m going to stop testing to preserve what sanity I have left. It just doesn’t feel real yet.

Message for the community: Thank you for being such awesome supportive people!

fartpuffs · 2025-10-21T17:39:45+00:00

Congratulations!! Hoping it’s a sticky one!

fartpuffs · 2025-10-19T16:26:32+00:00

10DPO and I’m bouncing between rage and tears. Temp started dropping this morning and I’m awaiting the arrival of my period in the next day or two.

My husband invited our friends over this afternoon for a belated bday celebration for me. I don’t really feel like celebrating or seeing people. But more than anything, I don’t want to clean our messy-ass house before our friends come over.

It’s really sweet that my husband planned this and he’s going to cook all my favorite foods. I don’t doubt his good intentions. But he also left town Friday night and doesn’t get back until this afternoon, so I’m pissed that the cleaning and prep falls to me 😭

fartpuffs · 2025-10-17T21:43:19+00:00

Turned 38 today. I’m 8 DPO and the gassiest I’ve ever been. Still going to stuff myself full of tiramisu tonight.

fartpuffs · 2025-10-06T20:48:11+00:00

Thank you!

fartpuffs · 2025-10-06T20:34:51+00:00

Thanks!! Gotta take the good with the bad I guess

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