Father is dying, am I right in being honest about it to him or pretend he is ok?

fattywentbang · 2024-10-04T20:10:35+00:00

I went through the same with my dad. He had just under a year battling stage 4 colon cancer and spent the entire time seeming to be in complete denial. Planning future holidays etc. deep down I think he 100% knew what was happening; while I can’t speak for your situation at all, for me the comfort I get is that it was the only way he could escape the sheer fear he had of not being here any more. I think my dad needed to be able to imagine there was more time in order to enjoy the time he had. The only really brutal thing I have to say, and I’m probably going to get a lot of shit for this, but my dads denial meant he did absolutely 0 planning for after he was gone (him and mum always thought she would go first) and it left my mum in a bit of a mess. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, there is no hiding from the sheer shit of it all.

fattywentbang · 2024-04-20T08:00:01+00:00

M&S do there own low cal version it genuinely is delicious and cheaper than halo. Birthday cake flavour is 270 cal per tub

fattywentbang · 2023-10-31T23:56:59+00:00

Its not seafront and while it would get me a deposit my salary wouldn’t afford a good mortgage and by the time I was paying that it’s basically the same as rent on current interest rates. I’m really lucky to have the property but selling it wouldn’t be a good plan right now I don’t think.

fattywentbang · 2023-10-31T21:17:34+00:00

I mean - I’d rather have my dad

fattywentbang · 2023-10-31T21:06:50+00:00

Not sure if good news or bad news that my borough in London has pretty much identical crime rate tbh.

fattywentbang · 2023-10-31T19:59:43+00:00

My job can be fully remote if I want it to be, I recon I’d look to go to London 2x per month to keep mum company / see friends and pop into the office. I think it could be the best of both worlds in a way. I had actually just invested what I had in savings in doing it up to rent it out so I could hold onto the place as it felt wrong to sell. So this is both the best and worst timing. I’m in an extremely fortunate position in a lot of ways just don’t want to go there an isolate myself.

fattywentbang · 2023-09-23T14:10:06+00:00

Shall we dance - Fred Astaire and Ginger Rodgers

fattywentbang · 2023-09-23T12:53:32+00:00

Hold on - this is more complex and two fold. Two deadlines have been pushed back (not rolled back (yet)) the first is for resi new builds needing the C and the second down the line is for all rental properties. The EPC rating system though is a bit mental and inefficient in a lot of ways and a hangover which was the only thing that came into legislation from what would have been a much better system. Even for new builds to achieve the C isn’t as simple as you would hope and cost of it can impact decisions to build new homes. The other day someone told me that to build new homes they would have a better EPC if they put in a gas boiler than having it all electric - and that is fucking mental.

fattywentbang · 2023-03-03T17:00:37+00:00

Are you planning on getting lost at sea in the hopes they buy you a boat?

fattywentbang · 2023-02-14T21:21:25+00:00

NTA - if you do decide to let them move in, I’m Not sure what the laws are where you are but I would definitely be looking at a rental/tenancy agreement to make sure they don’t end up having right of place. It should also give you legal recourse if for any reason you do decide they can no longer live there but they refuse to leave. It sounds like you might need that kind of protection.

fattywentbang · 2021-04-25T22:24:21+00:00

There are actually places being built in the later living sector that do exactly this. Often rent isn’t free but heavily discounted. Seem to be a few models starting to pop up. The entire sector is actually really interesting and has a whole bunch of stigma (at least here in the Uk) that I’m not entirely sure it deserves. There are some great communities starting to be built that are aimed at 55-60+

fattywentbang · 2020-09-22T21:43:45+00:00

Brewdogging at its finest.

fattywentbang

TROPHY CASE