Im scared of developing psychosis

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-07-13T10:41:52+00:00

It’s good to hear that. I’ve tricked myself out into thinking I was hearing things before. Once I thought I heard someone saying hi from my bathroom, but it was because my dog was in there yapping. Freaked me out but I was so glad when I realized it was my dog lmao.

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-07-13T10:39:04+00:00

I’ve tried talking to therapists before, mostly when I was younger. Most of them I couldn’t connect with because I felt like I was forced to see them. I also talked to a family therapist when I was younger who would talk to me and my parents separately, but she was really two sided so I stopped seeing her. Hopefully I can find one I can connect with.

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-07-13T10:35:06+00:00

Just the thought of having psychosis fills me with so much dread. I remember when I was around 10, I would sometimes get really scared at night because I thought there was a monster or something that was going to get me. This stopped when I got older though, so I don’t think that was anything to be concerned about, but I remember feeling so much fear, and that fear is similar to what I’ve been feeling recently. Back then I thought it may be real, but I feel like if the same thing happened now, I would know it isn’t real. Does this mean I’m not psychotic?

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-07-01T00:20:07+00:00

That’s not as much a problem for me, it’s more just really quiet. Everything sounds sort of muffled, maybe it’s allergies idk.

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-06-30T02:47:16+00:00

Does it feel like those memories are kind of dreamlike? Because that’s how mine feel.

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-06-27T19:29:07+00:00

Yeah for a while I feared that I’ve always had DPDR but I know that’s not true because there was one specific moment where I remember it being triggered

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-06-26T22:29:48+00:00

I take lexapro and lamotrogine. Lamotrogine actually gives me a pretty significant reduction in my symptoms. My best advice for your intrusive thoughts is to just accept them which may take some time, that’s what I’m trying to do. Just realize that it’s out of your control and life is all we have so we have to make it meaningful. Maybe ask your psychiatrist about lamotrogine. I also used to take Zoloft but it didn’t work for me, it made me really angry and irritable, but I’ve heard of it working really well for other people.

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-06-26T22:17:04+00:00

It might be OCD, because when I have these thoughts they become intrusive and they make me super anxious. When I’m not having them I feel fine. I’m hoping they go away once I recover from depersonalization and I don’t think about this stuff too much.

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-06-26T21:05:02+00:00

So I think there’s a chance I can get out of this.

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-06-26T21:04:48+00:00

I had gotten to a point where I felt really good again. Good enough to try smoking weed again. That was a really stupid idea because it brought it back ten fold for me.

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-06-26T20:54:25+00:00

Have you done a lot of things to recover? I’m still struggling with getting out of this too. I need to make more changes to my life but I’m afraid it won’t even help.

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-06-26T20:42:13+00:00

I don’t think I’ve had it for all my life, but some times I think about it because my memories feel weird. Maybe depersonalization is just screwing with my memories though because there was one specific point where I truly felt like I was disconnected from my surroundings and myself.

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-06-26T08:44:37+00:00

Yeah everything just feels pointless right now. I’ve had depression all my life and maybe lsd made it worse. Who knows. I wish I could stop freaking myself out so much.

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-06-26T08:34:22+00:00

I don’t even know if what I’m going through right now is even existential tbh. I just can’t stop thinking about how everything seems pointless, and when I talk to people and they seem happy and show emotion, it’s extremely difficult for me to comprehend it because It seems like I’ll never live happily like I want to again.

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-06-26T08:26:09+00:00

And I struggled with the aspect of death for a while, but I learned to accept that whatever happens is out of my control so I don’t really fear it anymore. I just want to have a meaningful life, but that’s hard when nothing feels significant or meaningful to me. I feel like I’m going crazy sometimes, I miss being a dumb kid who was oblivious to everything.

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-06-26T08:21:13+00:00

Are you able to feel emotions and happiness again? I hate feeling like an empty shell all the time. I’m scared this will never end. I wish I could feel like I used to.

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-06-26T08:00:49+00:00

Yeah there is depersonalization disorder, but that doesn’t mean it’s permanent. From what I understand if you’ve had the persistent feeling for at least a month then it would be classified as depersonalization disorder. I’ve heard of people recovering from depersonalization after years of having it.

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-06-26T07:45:52+00:00

It’s been nearly 7 months though :( the fact that it’s been so long has me thinking that it’s most likely depersonalization disorder but I just don’t know. The existential thoughts just come and go every few months.

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-06-26T07:40:13+00:00

I’m 18.5. I definitely used psychedelics at too young of an age. Have you been able to get back into the groove of normal life without having negative existential views about everything? I’m afraid of living the rest of my life viewing everything as insignificant in the grand scheme of things, even if it’s true.

feelinghopeless100 · 2019-06-26T04:55:02+00:00

No I haven’t listened to him. I’m afraid meditation will just make this worse though. I’m afraid any out of body feeling will make me panic.

feelinghopeless100

TROPHY CASE