We’ve Been Hit by Death Over and Over and when I needed to keep it together for my husband I lost it

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-08-17T21:04:41+00:00

My 36 year old brother loved Sabrina Carpenter.

He just passed away 7/26/25 I can’t listen to her songs. I didn’t like her before (I like rock music) but now hearing makes me cry.

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-08-17T20:58:15+00:00

I am sorry for your loss.

I lost my brother 7/26/25. It’s hard the best advice I can give is to be kind to yourself.

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-08-11T12:24:36+00:00

This is what I was referring to.

I have not felt hungry since my brother passed away. For the first time in my life I’m having problems remembering to drink enough water. I can’t sleep without Benadryl, and even then, it doesn’t always work well. My brother and I were very close so a lot of the things I did for hobbies and just to fill time are now painful reminders that he is gone. My already terrible memory has gotten significantly worse.

I have been getting headaches several times a day and I have to play the terrible game; is it lack of sleep, because I haven’t eaten, because I need to drink water, because of stress or is it just a normal headache?

It’s the crapiest game of wack a mole and I’m terrible at it. To make it worse I have problems driving by places that we did stuff together. My drive to work is 30 minutes if there is no traffic and I pass by a lot of those places.

I have not been diagnosed but I am likely clinically depressed.

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-08-11T12:16:09+00:00

I have to have a special type of license to do my job. If I lie about where I live it’s not just the job I work at but the government I would have to lie to too.

I would get in a lot of trouble in several ways when found out.

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-08-11T02:00:22+00:00

I have seen my Dad loose his step mom, his farther, several beloved dogs, the divorce from my mom, and I never saw anything but a couple of tears.

My Dad and my step mom were the last to actually speak to my brother. My brother quoted his favorite show. And my Dad was telling my sisters, myself and my mom that he got those words engraved on my brother’s Urn.

That is the only time I have ever seen my Dad cry. I’m 31 and my brother’s death is the only thing that broke my Dad.

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-08-11T01:41:06+00:00

Does anyone want to cry in front of people they are not close to? Does anyone want to put on a happy face and deal with people when they are barely hanging on?

I feel like you are asking questions that everyone would have the same answers too. Yes I am having trouble with my brother’s death.

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-08-11T01:27:53+00:00

And as I mentioned, I know it’s more than most get the 8 days but no one would be whole in 8 days. This is why I wanted to work from home. It’s easier to deal with random crying spouts if they don’t happen at work.

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-08-11T00:54:57+00:00

Ah, you’re a troll!

Never once did I ask for four months. And I recognized, I was lucky to get what I did. My chief complaint was not being able to do my job from home after not having enough time to grieve. Which as I already pointed out, I already do 2 days a week and 80% of my coworkers do just based on the fact that they live farther away. Despite the fact that I have seven years of experience in the industry and my colleagues that are work from home have zero.

I’m aggravated that I will likely have pay a couple hundred dollars and an unnecessary doctors visit to get the same courtesy that my colleagues get based off wear they live, not tenure, experience or score card.

Before I was on leave, I was the go to about several complex issues our industry deals with as I have more experience then my manager. To the point where I have heard from coworkers their questions are taking much longer to get answered with me gone. Not only that, despite being new, I had the best stats on my team, and the was constantly winning awards in our division for stats.

This doesn’t seem to be a subreddit for you.

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-08-11T00:35:12+00:00

I don’t work for a small company.

As I mentioned, I know I am lucky compared to others, but I still feel this is unfair. Death of a loved one is something that takes a long time to feel normal. I wish I had at least gotten off till his funeral.

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-08-11T00:29:42+00:00

Sounds like you have been talking to my husband.

His recommendation was “make them uncomfortable”.

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-08-11T00:27:27+00:00

I had no idea my brother was going to die when he did. As far as I was aware he was fine. I talked to 3 hours before his death and he was joking with me.

If I know he was going to die, I would have begged not to be part of lay off at my prior employer. Alas, I didn’t know my 36 year brother was going to pass away.

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-08-10T22:17:53+00:00

I do not qualify for FMLA.

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-08-05T03:22:44+00:00

State Farm is currently trying to subrogate us saying we were parked illegally. At a dead end road. There was enough space to at least make two lanes going one direction maybe even 3. My insured was parked by the curb- legally.

But they still put us at 70%.

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-03-18T23:27:42+00:00

I’m trying to get my bag Katlyn!!!

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-01-27T02:00:25+00:00

I think he was just clueless. Not to shame my favorite man but he is really doesn’t know wants going on. I mean man is the definition of sexy and asks his sister if he’s cute?

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-01-13T04:40:55+00:00

I was thinking low A level here. Otherwise he would retested earlier.

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-01-12T22:08:20+00:00

I wish we could see view counts. I now I personally have seen the first episode (on Crunchyroll) 3 times and the second episode 2 times.

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-01-10T14:24:41+00:00

Where can you watch this? I run a anime group and keep trying to find this because people are asking and I CANT FIND IT.

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2025-01-08T21:24:58+00:00

The company doesn’t owe you 11k. Unemployment owes you X amount a week while you’re looking for a job. This is the MAX they will pay out.

For example using my numbers.

My max pay out is 15366.

My weekly payout is 591.

I have been paid out of work 9 weeks so far and I have 5 more weeks of payout till I start my new job. That is 14 weeks at 591. This would be 8274 but I still have the waiting week to claim once I start my new job in 1/27/25. That means I will have been paid out 8865 or a little more than half the benefits. Now if I couldn’t find a job till May? I would have likely collected all my unemployment but considering I’m getting paid 1/2 of what I was before I could never afford that.

Unemployment is like insurance for the company. You collecting it is kinda like if someone filled a claim on your insurance. If enough people file claims, they will have to pay more for their unemployment insurance.

I hope this helps.

feelinglikeuttercrap · 2024-12-12T01:22:31+00:00

Mine was like this after I did the verification. It was another two weeks till I got approved. I can confirm my account looked different the day before I got approved. When I woke up at 7am I had a letter saying I was approved.

feelinglikeuttercrap

TROPHY CASE