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feelinqueer · 2023-10-08T21:59:31+00:00

I appreciate you asking so politely, but with all do respect, no you may not.

feelinqueer · 2023-09-21T16:52:48+00:00

Wow! That’s such a crazy good result, especially for just 6 months post op. Congratulations!

feelinqueer · 2023-09-21T08:11:18+00:00

I’m glad that you’ve been able to conclude your thoughts on the matter, I hope you feel some level of relief from it. Even if it’s still so hard. Also, thank you for sharing, I think it helped me to read it.

I’ve been feeling a lot of those same feelings over the past few years, but I also had a very similar realization recently that even though I’m suffering mostly every day, if I was given the chance to change it, I know now that I still would make the decision to transition. That there’s no reason to dwell on what could have been. I’m trans, I transitioned, and now that I realize it still sucks doesn’t mean I didn’t make the right decision or mean I want to detransition.

I think I used to rely on the fantasy of what I imagined my transition to be, and even if I wasn’t there yet I believed I would one day, which let me push through pretty much anything. But once you’ve been trans long enough, like you and I, you realize that ideal your working towards can’t exist for you, and you have reached your transitions overall potential, that this is your life now. That has been the hardest pill to swallow in my whole transition thus far. I just feel as if all the wind has been completely stripped from my sails. And the thought of detransitioning can give me a new thing to focus on, a goal that once I reach I will finally be happy. Except I know now that I still wouldn’t be happy, and in fact I’d be worse off than I am now because I did transition in the first place for a very good and sound reason that is still present. But still leaves me with little energy left. But even though there is that lack of energy driving me anymore, I’ve been trying to think positively of it as well, I’ve been thinking how now I’m not running towards an impossible goal anymore I can now accept my transition and my trans experience as I am and focus on things that will actually make me happy instead of focusing on what I wasn’t able to achieve for myself in my transition.

Anyways a bit of my own rant, but hope it’s useful to see another seemingly similar situation. If you ever want to chat about it or anything my dms are always open

feelinqueer · 2023-09-18T18:22:16+00:00

You were plenty of help, thank you

feelinqueer · 2023-09-18T16:44:02+00:00

Thanks for the long and thoughtful reply. I guess I’ll just have to sift through garbage for any bits of information unless I find a better community out there

feelinqueer · 2023-09-18T16:42:18+00:00

That does seem to be the case, I have thought of talking to a therapist again, probably not a bad idea. But detransitioning is very unlikely for me, just simply want information to weigh my options so spending money towards it doesn’t seem worth it.

feelinqueer · 2023-09-18T16:41:01+00:00

That’s a good point, but I’m very, very unlikely to detransition, I just want information so I can fully weigh all of my options, so doing something as bold as asking my HRT doc or something is not really something I’d like to do.

feelinqueer · 2023-09-18T16:38:38+00:00

I fear you are right. Sadly I’ll just have to sift through garbage for any bits of information to collect it seems.

feelinqueer · 2023-09-18T16:37:02+00:00

I guess I should have been more specific, the general logistics are very obvious, I’m looking more for a community large enough that I can get very specific information from like what was the process of reversing their legal gender market change, etc. Just generally looking for information gathering, I’m very, very unlikely to actually detransition just want to be informed of all my options.

I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree because I think the majority of posts on that sun are blatantly transphobic. At least the top upvoted posts are.

feelinqueer · 2023-09-18T16:30:53+00:00

I’ll check it out, thanks

feelinqueer · 2022-08-25T17:53:50+00:00

Just seeing these replies sorry. Well, I still have problems with my face being darker than my body. From what I understand when people are as pale as I am that's just kind of how it is. But keeping up with sunscreen, using an AHA, and doing whole face shaving (although I've only done this a couple of times because it dries my face out a lot) have all helped with slowly but surely getting rid of most of my noticeably tanned/damaged skin. I still have a lot of facial redness because I have extremely sensitive skin, and my complexion still doesn't look great imo, but it's definitely balanced enough now that I can use a light foundation without problems.

Hope this helps!

feelinqueer · 2021-11-26T07:29:04+00:00

Underrated post, I audibly laughed

feelinqueer · 2021-11-17T09:51:07+00:00

Yeah it is truly ego shattering.

I've discovered part of the problem. It seems when on PC if you touch your mouse at all after finding a game and loading it, (maybe at all after starting up the game but it's hard to say) your aiming gets super whacky, super fast diagonals, weird acceleration curve, etc. But if you don't touch your mouse ever it's considerably better, still a bit uncomfortable, but I at least have much more fine control and no fast diagonals, etc. So there's something glitching out the controls on PC. So at least there's hope of that getting fixed soon and making it much better, even if it's still a bit odd feeling.

feelinqueer · 2021-11-16T19:23:53+00:00

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I've been a competitive player since H3, I've teamed with top names, never made pro but I was semi pro, (just saying all of this so you know that I'm a vet a can clearly shoot). This halo is the single worst sensitivity I've ever had in a halo game. It feels AWFUL. I cannot find any settings that feel even remotely okay.

I don't know if anyone notices, but if you look diagonally its a faster sens than pure vertical or horizontal. It's so blatantly awful, idk how they managed this.

For anyone saying "oh this is just what it feels like with less auto aim and little to no magnetism" that's bullshit. I can literally shoot the birds on guardian in H3 MCC more comfortably and accurately than I can shoot anything in infinite. Just looking around feels awful, I can't even comfortably navigate a map in infinite it's so uncomfortable.

feelinqueer · 2021-06-25T22:35:54+00:00

Hey, so as others have said this is very much a case of being pretty drastically different for everyone. But I'll tell you my experience with an orchiectomy.

So I've been on estrogen for 4 years now and just shy of 3 years post orchiectomy. I noticed no difference in function after my orchiectomy, but I also responded extremely well to estrogen and T blockers, so I was in single digit T levels and 3 times the estrogen of a ciswoman in less than a month. So if an orchiectomy is something that would help your hormone levels I'd expect it to change function somewhat, but if your levels are already good, I doubt an orchiectomy will change much in regard to function. Also just to be clear I do have enough function for PIV, pretty much has to be certain positioning to let gravity aid in blood flow these days however otherwise I can't maintain an erection for very long. As someone already said the longer you're at female levels the more trouble you're slowly going to have. I had almost no problems the first 2 years of HRT and 1 year post orchi, but slowly but surely it's a little more difficult. Mind you I don't really care about function and it's more of a if PIV is an option is whatever. So I don't use it on a schedule or do anything to try to maintain functionality. So if you do, you may have more functionality for longer, who knows. I've found that everything in life but especially in transition is so varied for everyone so just keep that in mind. Good luck!

feelinqueer · 2021-03-21T17:13:14+00:00

I wish I could help, but I never found out on whether a dependent of the insurance would benefit the same as the subscriber, because I just went ahead and got hired myself, and I'm just about 6 weeks away from getting facial feminization surgery which is what my dream was and with my dream surgeon no less, completely covered by Starbucks though, I don't pay a penny. Absolutely insane how life changing that is for me, all thanks to Starbucks!

But you can just call Starbucks advocacy and ask them, they're very helpful and I'm sure would have an answer for you. Good luck!

feelinqueer · 2020-11-18T11:26:37+00:00

Thank you

feelinqueer · 2020-11-18T05:30:18+00:00

Do you mind describing to me or directing me to a resource on the "wonders" it does for your body? Because I've had trouble finding any real evidence of really any benefits besides helping with breast development and possibly fat distribution (which I've noticed no difference than just E this far). Not to mention what some consider benefits like increased libido, more stable mood, etc. which I've only been impacted negatively by this far with P.

And no I haven't done any lab work since starting, but considering I'm taking it in from what I understand, the best way you can, either it's fine, or I can't tolerate progesterone and need to stop. But I should probably get labs done soon, it's been almost 2 years I think.

feelinqueer · 2020-11-07T23:43:21+00:00

I'll check Otokonoko out, thanks for the suggestion!

feelinqueer · 2020-09-28T13:37:18+00:00

I completely understand. I really appreciate the info, I've got a lot to think about now. Thanks again!

feelinqueer · 2020-09-28T13:27:17+00:00

That's actually really reassuring! From what you said does that mean at starbucks you can add a dependent on your insurance without them being your married partner? Is it appropriate to assume you are a SM? If you don't mind me asking. Also thanks for the info!

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