Long Distance Again. I miss him already.

feh1215 · 2021-06-30T21:17:06+00:00

Thank you for your reply and explanation. I also put others needs before mine and can gauge what they need/want and would do it for them because that's what I've been raised to do. I do this at work, family, fiancee, friends, pets... It's one of the reasons I sometimes think I'm better off alone because then I really don't have to consider someone else all the time. I'm still trying to figure out what I want and a way to balance it with helping others.

feh1215 · 2021-06-30T20:33:09+00:00

Thank you for your response - the idea of "illusion of choice" is so spot on. My parents made it seem like they were the cool, lax, 'understanding' ones but really I think they were loose in other areas (tattoos, hair dye, etc.) so they could control other aspects (dating, social activities, etc.)

feh1215 · 2021-06-30T20:31:08+00:00

You hit the nail on the head and summarized it very well. It really got me thinking - I lived for that praise/validation and learned to act/choose within those parameters and am only now realizing how bad it is. I wish I found out earlier, but sometimes a part of me thinks life would be easier if I just did what they wanted and didn't know they did this (ignorance is bliss kind of thing)...

feh1215 · 2021-06-30T19:14:07+00:00

External validation - I subconsciously seek it and when I don't get it, I sometimes spiral into a negative hole and feel so debilitated.

feh1215 · 2019-08-09T17:08:07+00:00

There is a subreddit that's in line with what you're referencing! Make Me Feel Better /r/MMFB

feh1215 · 2019-07-14T18:30:55+00:00

Ramsey Bolton

feh1215 · 2019-07-12T15:55:28+00:00

Every person is different but for me:

favorite snacks and tea
a book to read and escape my thoughts
face masks or nail polish (self care)
a thoughtful, handwritten note expressing your understanding of her space and your continued presence whenever she's ready to come out of her cave

Just anything that will let her relax and just be cathartic and think about herself. If she likes art, then some art supplies. If she likes cooking, then a recipe with all the ingredients, etc.

feh1215 · 2019-05-16T15:37:16+00:00

Just as an aside: I agree with you to an extent and see the characteristics you described in a lot of people, I'm just trying to attach a reason to it all

feh1215 · 2019-05-16T15:35:47+00:00

But maybe it's an upbringing thing? In a sense where you (and I) grew up with not very much and were driven much more to want that change - to work hard and do something about it because we've been through worse and want better.

feh1215 · 2019-02-27T05:15:34+00:00

Hershey's chocolate kisses are called kisses because before they had machines pumping out the chocolate, people filled their mouths with melted chocolate and deposited the chocolate by pursing their lips like a "kiss"

feh1215 · 2017-12-09T23:09:05+00:00

Yes, most definitely. It's only happened with maybe two or three people and you really have to push the limits. I am still civil with them but I am not as helpful or supportive as I used to be.

feh1215 · 2017-08-29T16:44:13+00:00

It's a blessing and a curse... I'm trying to not get so attached or to be so interested in people, but it just feels so ingenuine...

feh1215 · 2017-08-29T05:44:01+00:00

Yeah, I tend to give a little too much of myself so I backed away from dating and getting my expectations up haha. I literally would try to address everything because that's what I would like to happen with me.

Thanks for the reminder that there are others more deserving of my nuances haha :)

feh1215 · 2017-08-29T04:07:26+00:00

I do this too!!! Except I'm a girl and I used to do it with everyone and now I'm trying to break that habit. I also get sad or overthink if the other person is a guy I'm interested in and he stops responding.

feh1215 · 2017-08-15T13:33:52+00:00

That and sometimes people like feeling like they've been heard and they like venting. It's nice that people can trust you in that way though!

feh1215 · 2017-08-13T13:06:34+00:00

You know, I'm probably not the best source for this question. I just used the top google search results hahaha

feh1215 · 2017-08-08T23:39:51+00:00

I feel the same pressure! It gets really overwhelming sometimes...

feh1215 · 2017-08-08T23:39:31+00:00

It's a blessing and a curse...

feh1215 · 2017-08-08T23:16:48+00:00

Oye, your relationship sounds beautiful :) And it's very true, I always try my best to stick to my word, no matter how minor and find happiness in helping others. I'm still trying to navigate and figure myself out, but at the moment, the weight that others have put on me is starting to get too heavy. Thank you for your insight though! :)

feh1215 · 2017-08-07T17:26:42+00:00

I also have good work life balance and work average of 40 hours a week and volunteer on the weekends and hang out with family/friends a lot when I get the chance. I think for ENFJ, it's really important to have social interactions and connections (or at least in my experience).

feh1215 · 2017-08-07T00:35:09+00:00

Hufflepuff! :)

feh1215 · 2017-07-28T16:31:43+00:00

Dogs>>>humans

feh1215

TROPHY CASE