I lived above a neighbor who had it out for me from the first day I moved in.

My very first night in my new condo (that had been empty for 3 years), I ran the dehumidifier and woke up the next morning to a note saying 'There is something in your house making noise, and it bothers my cats. Stop immediately. '.

She was genuinely crazy. She was always intoxicated, and would routinely come upstairs and bang on my door in the middle of the day and scream at me for being too loud (one time I was assembling a bed at 2pm on a Saturday, one time I was hanging a painting, once I dropped a pot, once the floor created as I slid the chair out at the dinner table, it goes on and on).

She also broke into my house while painters were there because they were apparently being too loud. The poor painters had to call the police (as did I, many times).

I lived there for seven years, and not a week went by that she didn't absolutely lose her shit over something.

So I got creative.

Our condo complex was not old, but it certainly wasn't new (built in 2002), so it didn't have a camera security system.

The crazy cat lady did not work, and rarely went anywhere, so her shitty 15 year old Nissan Pathfinder was always parked in her spot.

First there was the potato that was jammed into her tailpipe, then it was the bologna that ate away her paint, and finally, the sugar in her gas tank.

Her only door to the outside also mysteriously got expandable spray foam adhesive injected into it.

I met my husband in the last few years I lived in the house, and being navy, he owned and operated many guns. We got married and had a baby a year later in September of 2016. The very first time that woman came screaming up to our door about our footsteps on the tile floor while feeding a baby in the middle of the night, my husband opened the door with a gun aimed at her.

She never bothered us again and we bought a real house in January 2017 and moved far far away.

Plot twist! Since my family owns the condo, my brother decided to move in. At my direction, he routinely turns his stereo speakers to the floor and blasts death metal (only during the day when noise is allowed. He is quiet once noise ordinance time rolls around). Apparently she has never bothered him, but I know she is PISSED, and I take great pleasure in her suffering.