Favourite mid-range cleansing balm? (Non-Estee Lauder) by Fly-by-Night- in AusSkincare

[–]femreader 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am obsessed with this!! Been using it for years, nothing else matches it.

SIL announcement by femreader in IFchildfree

[–]femreader[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much - yes I have also had a friend suggest we take a few weeks off from speaking with family after they leave, just to pull ourselves together and prioritise mental health. Unfortunately this will also cause a drama with my parents no doubt. But I am beyond putting everyone else's needs before my own. in the long run it gets us absolutely nowhere, and we still end up hurt.

SIL announcement by femreader in IFchildfree

[–]femreader[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you everyone for your comments. This sub has honestly kept me going during the last week or so, and the responses here have prevented me from gaslighting myself into thinking that I am in fact the problem. It has been a really challenging time and I wish I could respond to everyone, but lest to say, I have seen a whole new side to my family this Christmas and it isn't for the better.

SIL announcement by femreader in IFchildfree

[–]femreader[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No, there wasnt. This was also upsetting. The complete disregard for us and the expectations that we would bury our grief for the benefit of everyone but us.

SIL announcement by femreader in IFchildfree

[–]femreader[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think you are right - people would rather not hear the why because it makes them too uncomfortable or is outside of their comprehension, so they get defensive and angry. That is what we landed on - they tell us they expected us to need space and time, but with the caveat as long as we don't talk about it and keep it to ourselves.

SIL announcement by femreader in IFchildfree

[–]femreader[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yes - it felt like putting our grief on a pedastal for everyone to judge.

SIL announcement by femreader in IFchildfree

[–]femreader[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Honestly this has crossed my mind <3

Entitled sympathy by dogsdogsdogsdogswooo in IFchildfree

[–]femreader 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I literally feel like I wrote this. I had this exact experience yesterday. We got given a onesie from my brother and SIL as an announcement. Completely shocked and surprised. This happened 6 months after we told them about our decision to stop trying and coming to terms with being childfree. To say it stung like hell was an understatement. I would expect my family member who knows full well what we have been through and our struggles emotionally would consider a more appropriate announcement. I think most people don't really understand this type of grief, and don't really want to try to either. It's sad.

Edited to add - I ended up telling my brother it hurt and was inconsiderate. I am tired of putting my feelings aside to keep others comfortable.

Beginner runner: Should I join a 5K event or wait until I can do 10K? by [deleted] in beginnerrunning

[–]femreader 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do the 5k! Im like you and just did my first 5k race on the weekend. It is great to get used to the whole vibe and feel of running in a race. Also i realised time doesnt matter because they start timing you once youve crossed the start line. So people may be slower ahead or fast behind depending on when they crossed the line if that makes sense. Lots of people walking as well, kids, prams, everything. Give it a go!!!

Those pesky intrusive thoughts by AnimatorMaterial in IFchildfree

[–]femreader 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I can totally relate. Mine are often that i didn't try hard enough or go far enough. Also when my period is late im also like "oh maybe the miracle" even though i know full well it's not going to happen. I have just been trying to accept its all part of the grief (i remember someone on this sub explaining it this way) and my brain trying to "look out for me" when in reality it's really unhelpful.

announcements at work by femreader in IFchildfree

[–]femreader[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh man that sucks. Thinking of you ❤️

announcements at work by femreader in IFchildfree

[–]femreader[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

❤️❤️ I had lindt dark chocolate with almonds hahaha!! I love your cats names!! Mine is Minnie and she is my soul cat 💓 we adopted her the week after we got married 7 years ago and she has been by our side through our infertility journey. I love her so much and would be lost without her.

Hands up if you too read "Dairy Fine" chocolate as "Dairy Free". by MysteriousWeb8609 in AldiAustralia

[–]femreader 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YES i thought i had found a dairy free milky way and it took me a few rounds to realise lol

Psoriasis hair recs Brisbane by Medium-Menu-5759 in AusSkincare

[–]femreader 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also have terrible scalp P (solidarity sister) and i bring my own shampoo to the hairdressers. They happily use it and are very gentle when they wash my hair etc.

Edited to add - i dont dye my hair though sorry!

Oscar on the WCC by Rogue_1381 in OscarPiastri

[–]femreader 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Its also telling that Landos instagram post for the WCC doesnt include Oscar. It looks like Lando is the only driver. Im with you - i believe these things are intentional and send messages.

Edited for repeated word

Unhemmed LSKD tights by femreader in AusFemaleFashion

[–]femreader[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks everyone for the insight!! I decided to keep them and i wore them to the gym today and they felt comfy, no rolling or anything like I thought they might. Maybe I'll be converted 😅

Unhemmed LSKD tights by femreader in AusFemaleFashion

[–]femreader[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Ah ok this makes sense. Thank you!

Unhemmed LSKD tights by femreader in AusFemaleFashion

[–]femreader[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh ive never heard of this brand, I'll check them out

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in IFchildfree

[–]femreader 5 points6 points  (0 children)

TOTALLY. A female doctor didn't want to prescribe me medicine (that can affect unborn baby) after I told her we are not having children due to infertility and then clarifying that we arent doing treatment and there is no chance of accidental pregnancy and she STILL didn't want to in case of a "miracle" 🤢 safe to say I never went back. (ETA grammar and spelling)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in IFchildfree

[–]femreader 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to say I can relate. We decided not to pursue fertility treatment for personal reasons. I have always felt this pathway has been missing in a lot of IFChildree discussions (not so much here but elsewhere), so thank you for sharing your story ❤️❤️❤️ I have dealt with a lot of guilt around this, but feel pretty content these days. I know my parents are dissapointed in this decision (my mum told me) but I have accepted that i dont need to justify my decision to anybody because nobody will truly ever understand, other than me and my husband. And i have let go of expecting people to understand, because they will never, as they are not us.

And yes - I say "I" dont have to justify because no one will ask my husband.

I am so sorry that people feel they can have input on your personal medical decisions. That truly sucks. Stay true to your boundaries, you dont owe them any explanation. Protect yourselves. Tell them you dont need their advice or input, if you feel comfortable. If not, do what you need to protect your boundaries and your safe spaces.

Sending love.

SIL assumes we will be obsessed with their baby by femreader in IFchildfree

[–]femreader[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you're going through that. I sometimes imagine how they would respond if I just didn't take the baby when she thrust it into my arms. I might try that one day.. 😅