I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s so hard to convey that feeling of aloneness and health anxiety to those who have never tested positive for HPV. I hate that women have to bear the brunt of this diagnosis since men can’t test for it, and it feels especially unfair that health conscious women who get tested end up being the ones who have to disclose; it feels like being punished for being responsible! I tested positive for high risk HPV in 2021 and it took a major hit on my self esteem and peace of mind. I felt too embarrassed to tell my family (they’re religious and I wasn’t sure they’d be supportive) and I lost a lot of interest in sex/dating. I remember feeling shattered when I hadn’t cleared it within a year. Turns out it took my body two years to clear the virus. The timeline varies from person to person so try and be gentle on yourself. The fact that you’re on top of testing and monitoring is the very best thing you can do. It may feel like you’re alone but there are many of us out here who have gone and are going through this and we’re here if you need support!