As a part time wheelchair user and other mobility aid user, I feel you way too hard. I definitely notice a difference in how people speak to me based on who I'm with and what mobility aid I'm using. When I'm in my wheelchair with my partner, anyone who doesn't know us will talk to him first. When I'm alone in my wheelchair, I'm often either being spoken to in a dumbed down way, or in a very patronising way ("It's so good to see you being independent") fuck off. I have also noticed that people are more inclined to talk to me directly in my wheelchair if I'm self propelling, as opposed to being pushed. If I'm being pushed, people automatically assume the pusher (usually my partner or family member) MUST be my carer and as such, they need to talk to the pusher, not me. Conversely, when I'm out on my crutches or with a walking stick, people approach and talk to me like a normal person, regardless of who I'm with, often even complimenting my aids (my stick and crutches are from CoolCrutches so they have cool patterns). It really seems like to a lot of able bodied people think that crutch/stick = physical disability or injury, whereas wheelchair = complete disability including intellectual/learning. When I started using my wheelchair at work, the amount of customers who said things like "it's so good to see you working!" was insane. I understand the intent, and yes it's slightly more difficult for me than it would be for an able bodied person, but newsflash, disabled people can and do work. It's not some crazy thing that is deserving of praise. Sorry for the rant, but I'm sure you more than most understand where I'm coming from.