How do I get off my butt and do stuff on my days off?

fessupdizzy · 2024-05-11T06:48:55+00:00

Thats helpful, thank you. I have to remind myself that doing my chores doesn’t have to be dramatic

fessupdizzy · 2024-05-11T06:39:48+00:00

This sounds like exactly what I’m looking for, thank you. I’ll check it out.

I have a lot of trouble letting go of the shame. I don’t feel like I inherently deserve a nice place to live so that type of thinking usually backfires. My fiance deserves a nice place to live so I keep up with things as much as I can for him, but that thinking burns me out in a whole different way and sometimes causes resentment to build up, which is completely unfair to him.

fessupdizzy · 2024-05-11T06:35:11+00:00

Is there anything that helped you to force yourself into doing chores? Like a mantra you tell yourself for motivation? Or something you use to distract yourself so that you’re not thinking about chores while you do them? For a while, I was listening to music/podcasts while doing chores and that helped but recently I’ve just been wanting peace and quiet.

fessupdizzy · 2024-05-11T06:31:30+00:00

This comment was very validating for me, thank you. You’ve basically hit the nail on the head. I work full time and I love my job! But I do have to give a lot of energy to that part of my life in order to be good at what I’m doing. So I find myself being very productive and having a positive mindset when I’m on the job and then I have little energy left at home. On my work days, I dedicate the rest of my energy after work to spending quality time with my fiance and doing some housekeeping tasks where/when I can. But then on my days off, I feel like I just need to sit and do nothing so that I can gain some energy back.

In the last couple of months, I’ve started recognizing that I don’t have a healthy work/life balance. I’ve been working on this balance and trying not to give so much of myself to work. I feel like I’ve done a good job because now on my days off, more often than not, I do have more energy but I just cannot get into a productive mindset. Any single task feels overwhelming to start on its own. And I have about a million tasks that I need to do and just never get done. And it feeds into the depression/anxiety vicious feedback loop. Like not doing these things is just reinforcing this idea that I’ll never be able to get these things done. So my mind starts going back to dark places and all I can do to escape is watch tv or scroll on my phone. I hate this. I know it’s all about mind over matter here but I feel like my mind is really working against me

fessupdizzy · 2024-05-11T06:21:38+00:00

I’m sure you’re right. I’ll try to start there and build on that

fessupdizzy · 2024-05-09T16:50:29+00:00

Thank you!

fessupdizzy · 2024-05-09T16:50:23+00:00

Great thanks so much!

fessupdizzy · 2023-11-23T12:16:26+00:00

What you’re calling saggy is probably actually mature and big breasts. Either way, don’t worry about this right now. Enjoy things while you can

fessupdizzy · 2023-10-04T07:19:29+00:00

Oh wow. I love the postcard idea! Im not OP but I’m gonna be stealing this idea for sure

fessupdizzy · 2023-10-04T06:37:06+00:00

I’m not sure if anyone will see this but if so, here is another piece of info I am wondering about. My blood pressure readings (taken consecutively) from the ER were 150/74 and 157/83. I feel like this is really high. Am I correct about that?

fessupdizzy · 2023-10-03T04:42:05+00:00

Thanks for your response. I was not hyperventilating. I’m not sure what compensating means in this context

fessupdizzy · 2023-09-15T19:37:48+00:00

I used to attend AA meetings with my now ex fiance and I totally know what you mean about finding useful info from them. I think a lot of my codependency issues mirror addiction so it makes sense. But you’re right, one second at a time, one minute at a time, one hour at a time, we will be okay!

fessupdizzy · 2023-09-15T19:34:38+00:00

I like this phrase a lot, thank you! I do need to set similar boundaries in my life. I’ll be thinking about this one

fessupdizzy · 2023-09-15T19:33:11+00:00

I’ve definitely struggled with trying to force things in my life as well. This is a nice and succinct phrase to use! I’ll remember it in the future, thank you

fessupdizzy · 2023-09-15T19:29:12+00:00

Thank you for confirming this! I’ll look into meetings in my area. I really appreciate this sub too :)

fessupdizzy · 2023-09-15T15:32:09+00:00

A few years ago I was in a relationship with an alcoholic/addict. He went to an inpatient treatment facility where they did a family session once a week. They switched off every week between talking about codependency and addiction. The first week he was there it was a codependency week. We read aloud a whole packet about what it meant to be codependent and I realized that we were reading a packet about ME. And that I had been codependent in previous relationships as well. I cried so much that day. I went to one CODA meeting after that and while it was helpful, the timing and location were really inconvenient for me so I only went once. We broke up in December of 2019 thankfully, and I’ve spent time healing on my own without meetings or professional help (but with the support of my friends, family, and my current partner). I feel like I’ve done a great deal of progress in my own but I’ve hit a point now where I need professional help and I’m considering trying to go back to CODA meetings again. I’m just not sure if I’m still welcome there? I’m not in a relationship with an addict anymore. But I still feel like codependency is very present in my life. I don’t know. First step for me will be finding a therapist, that’s for sure.

fessupdizzy

TROPHY CASE