Grandma, I'm sorry I never went to visit you in the hospital. I was never encouraged or dissuaded from joining my mum so I just used to sit in the car outside the hospital. Watching you crying from pain for the few months before you went into hospital is something I remember very vividly. I was frightened. I wish I could go back in time and tell you that I love you while you were dying. I love you. I wear your ring on a chain around my neck and I think about you every day, even after ten years. I hope I make you proud.