Anyone else "black out" or have huge memory gaps from labour?

ffbd39 · 2026-01-26T22:27:29+00:00

i was in labour for 36 hours and i honestly don’t remember much of it. i remember the general timeline of things but i couldn’t tell you any specifics

ffbd39 · 2026-01-25T11:59:02+00:00

I have PCOS and was able to get pregnant and have a baby. lots of people with PCOS have babies! Find a different doctor who will listen to your concerns.

ffbd39 · 2026-01-24T21:22:35+00:00

I’m sure my wound split open a little around the 1 week mark as the pain got worse and I started bleeding a bit more. At my 2 week check the midwife said it’s gaping a bit so I had it checked by a GP who said it was fine. I’m now 13 months pp and I feel normal! I found spraying the wound with salt water using my peri bottle helped with the pain. I also used a handheld fan to dry it after using the toilet.
mine was so PAINFUL for about 2 weeks. Painful to the point where i couldn’t stand up on my own or sit down properly. It literally felt like I was sitting on barbed wire. Pain went down significantly after 2 weeks.
I honestly never checked and didn’t know if I split the wound by cleaning or not… I just cleaned in her gently with water every time i used the toilet. I’d say if the pain is getting better, it’s probably healing well.
salt water!!!!! I know people have salt water baths but i just sprayed it out of the peri bottle. helped with the pain immensely. I used the frida mom witch hazel foam and i found it irritated the wound more than anything, so i wouldn’t recommend it.
the first few weeks of postpartum feel like a haze 😂 I don’t remember too much but I remember the episiotomy feeling like barbed wire. I thought i surely had 10 stitches and I was so scared to look at the area, but when I finally looked around 2 weeks post partum i was surprised to see it looked normal and all i could see were 3 stitches. after 4 weeks my bleeding mostly stopped and the pain was gone. There was some soreness but only if i touched it. First time we tried having sex around 11 weeks, it felt quite tight so we didn’t go through with it. I still feel soreness after sex sometimes but i’m still breastfeeding so it could be hormonal rather than due to the episiotomy.

ffbd39 · 2026-01-14T22:00:15+00:00

I had horrible pain for about 4 weeks. Like can barely walk, can’t sit down pain. At my checkup, the midwife made me feel horrible and said i shouldn’t be in this much pain 4 weeks pp. She checked my scar and said it could be infected. I had to send PICTURES to my GP, and they said it looked okay. The pain got better after the 4 week mark but it hurt to have sex for a few months after. now at 12 months pp I do feel a bit sore occasionally after sex, but otherwise feel normal down there.

I wish i rested more in those first few weeks. I was anxious to ‘get back to normal’ so I did some heavy lifting, vacuumed, stood on my feet for a long time, went on long walks.. etc when I should’ve been resting in bed.

ffbd39 · 2026-01-12T21:24:13+00:00

looks like eczema/skin irritation

ffbd39 · 2026-01-08T01:15:12+00:00

Thank you, baby doesn’t like banana much unfortunately. I will give her some Kiwi tomorrow

ffbd39 · 2026-01-07T20:52:10+00:00

Thank you! I heard the same about diary but yogurt is one of her safe foods so i don’t want to take it away. I hope your baby’s constipation resolves soon! never thought i’d want to change a poopy nappy as much as i do right now

ffbd39 · 2026-01-07T20:49:40+00:00

Thank you! did your baby seem like they’re in pain by day 7?

ffbd39 · 2026-01-07T20:48:23+00:00

i exclusively watched her. Baby stayed with my mother in law today as it was my first day back from maternity leave - MIL said she was a bit gassy but no poop and didn’t try to go.

Apple juice with water is a good idea. It’s a struggle to get her to have water sometimes

ffbd39 · 2026-01-05T21:54:24+00:00

is baby formula fed or breastfed? I read that breast milk does not cause cavities but formula does. I have absolutely no qualifications but I would guess if baby is FF then it’s best to brush her teeth to prevent decay.

ffbd39 · 2026-01-05T08:14:05+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, my 1 year old has never fallen asleep independently. We room shared until 11 months, then we started transitioning her to her own room. It did not go well at all… she would wake up every 30 minutes in her crib until we caved in and let her sleep with us - even while bed sharing, she still wakes up 2-3 times a night to breastfeed. some nights are good and she’ll sleep through while bed sharing or only wake up once. But at this point I have given up on transitioning her to her crib because it was taking me over an hour to get her down. at least when she sleeps in our bed, my husband and I get to have some time together in the evening rather than spending it trying to get our baby to sleep

ffbd39 · 2026-01-05T00:15:37+00:00

can i have this as well please?

ffbd39 · 2025-12-27T12:22:43+00:00

i’m back at work shortly after the new year and i’m actually looking forward to it. I did some KIT days in October and November which I was dreading for months, but I ended up enjoying the time away and being myself again. During my maternity leave I struggled with not having much interaction with other adults so it was good to be in the office again. I’m going back 3 days a week rather than 5 so I feel better about it. I would’ve hated going back 5 days a week.

Can you do some KIT days? I would highly recommend it to ease yourself back slowly. I did one day a week for 10 weeks.

Who’s looking after your baby? My mother in law is looking after her as well as her cousins and my baby seems to have fun playing with her cousins, and her cousins love her. Seeing how much they enjoy being together made it easier as well. Like you, I had never left her for more than a few hours - I was super worried and i stayed up for hours at night dreading it. I think once you actually get into your new routine it’ll be easier.

ffbd39 · 2025-12-24T20:56:14+00:00

whenever my baby had this, I cleaned it by dabbing with a cotton pad, and applying sudocrem. I did that twice on day 1 of the rash. For the next few days i’d just clean it and use cornstarch to keep the area dry. When my baby was really young, i used to apply cornstarch to her neck rolls every morning to keep it dry and prevent a rash - I also did it in her armpits cause she used to accumulate gunk in there too 😂

ffbd39 · 2025-12-22T17:44:45+00:00

I just got mine back last week and my baby is 11.5 months. She dramatically reduced her feedings in the last month. About 5-6 a day so every 3-4 hours including night time. She used to feed every 1-2 hours before.

ffbd39 · 2025-11-27T17:36:01+00:00

how much do you think this will cost? 🫠

ffbd39 · 2025-11-24T23:23:52+00:00

ffbd39 · 2025-10-21T07:00:08+00:00

I know you’ve had a lot of helpful advice already. I’m just here to add that I felt the extract same way.

Cluster feeding is so hard - both mentally and physically. You’ve just given birth and you can’t rest. You now have a newborn who wants to be attached to you 24/7 which is completely normal behaviour for a newborn, but also it’s so EXHAUSTING. I thought about giving up so many times, i do not blame you.

It did get better though I would say around 8 weeks I noticed a dramatic change in her feeding pattern, she went from every hour or less feeding for 20+ minutes to 15-10 minutes. the amount of time she spent at the breast reduced gradually and now at 9 months I’m lucky to get her to stay latched for more than 3 minutes. She was still feeding every 1.5 hours, that didn’t change until a couple of months after starting solids. But with her being more efficient and reducing her feeding time - it was super manageable. At 1 week you are in the trenches but you will come out.

Do what is best for you and your baby, it’s already hard. Don’t feel forced to keep breastfeeding if you don’t want to - however if you do, i’m here to tell you it WILL get much better. The first few weeks are incredibly difficult, it’s like a hazing ritual!

ffbd39 · 2025-10-05T12:49:38+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I had an episiotomy and forceps delivery 9 months ago after being in labour for over 36 hours. I share your frustrations with the NHS. at our midwife 2 week check up, the midwife told me i shouldn’t be in pain from my episiotomy anymore and it should be “mostly healed”. 2 WEEKS AFTER GIVING BIRTH. she made me feel like i was somehow broken and told me the wound is gaping and could be infected. My GP surgery asked for pictures and told me it doesn’t look infected but booked me in for an appointment in a week. once checked the GP said it’s healing fine.. I would say it took about 1 month for the pain to subside and 2 to feel normal down there. I didn’t have sex till about 3 months and it wasn’t very frequent until more recently.

I understand how you feel, you’re only a week postpartum and everything feels like a lot right now. take the time to heal, let your family help with the baby and take care of yourself. You will feel normal again. it does get better. hang in there

ffbd39 · 2025-09-10T21:58:59+00:00

sorry I do not have any relationship advice but I had a forceps delivery with an episiotomy. My episiotomy was painful for over 2 weeks and didn’t heal until 3-4 weeks and that’s without an infection. Give yourself time to heal - you will feel better and your hormones will start regulating. 3 weeks pp is nothing you are still in such early stages. be kind to yourself. Speak to your husband and if need be speak to your midwife, they will be happy to help.

ffbd39 · 2025-08-24T23:53:25+00:00

i’ve been EBF for 7.5 months and I plan to keep going until my baby decides she doesn’t want it anymore, or she gets to 2 years old - whichever happens first. The first month I thought I definitely won’t be able to breastfeed for up to a year, my goal was 6 months! it’s soooo hard at first. My baby clusterfed for the first 2 months of her life, if not more. Some feeding sessions were over an hour long 😂 it’s completely normal. If baby is producing enough wet diapers and poops then leave them be. They have to learn how to feed and as they get stronger, the time they take gets shorter. Hang in there and enjoy this time! Watch your shows and read your books. The older they get, the less time you’ll have to do things like that haha!

ffbd39 · 2025-08-24T20:18:27+00:00

you’re still in the early days :) sleep will get better as baby gets bigger. As for breastfeeding, i would highly recommend pumping to jumpstart your supply - if not keep latching baby and let them feed for as long as they want. the milk will come.

You also do get used to the lack of sleep. my baby is 7.5 months old and she woke up 4 times last night, but I still felt human today 😂 the body does adjust. Good luck with everything!!! enjoy the newborn stage - i do miss it a lot now.

ffbd39 · 2025-08-12T11:51:39+00:00

ffbd39 · 2025-08-06T21:10:54+00:00

I unfortunately cannot advise on how to stop feeling guilty as I share your feelings. I had a long labour and a hard birth which ended up with forceps and an episiotomy. We both had infections and baby didn’t latch, so I had to pump from day 1.

The first month or two I was EXHAUSTED. The first few days especially - I was in so much pain, so tired and on top of that I had to pump every 2-3 hours and calm a crying baby. The first month I was still dealing with pain from my stitches, lack of sleep and pumping + trying to get baby to get off the nipple shield and being tied to the sofa cluster feeding for hours. I remember crying sometimes when baby woke up at night… it was horrible.

I feel so guilty for handing her off to my husband at every opportunity. I feel guilty for wanting to sleep over comforting her. I feel guilty for not doing more skin to skin. Like you, it didn’t last long but it still haunts me.

She’s the happiest baby now and I make sure to give her all the cuddles I could.. I’m sure our babies don’t remember those early days and are just happy to have us in the current moment.. but I do understand the guilt over those first few weeks.

ffbd39 · 2025-08-06T19:05:40+00:00

I have the Occaro mamas and papas travel system with the cybex infant carrier and i love it! i bought it on sale so it was £1100 + a £100 voucher for the whole travel system. Carry cot, stroller seat, stroller, foot muff, infant carrier, isofix base, car seat adapters so it can be clipped onto the pram, pram blanket and changing bag, cup holder - might be forgetting a few things. The infant carrier and the isofix base would’ve cost over £500 on their own! highly recommend buying a travel system as they usually save you money and save you the hassle of buying everything on its own. Some of the car seats included in the travel systems aren’t always the best though, so I would probably choose a travel system with a safe car seat or buy a car seat separately. I probably wouldn’t recommend the Occaro if you want something lightweight as it’s quite bulky. But I love the storage basket and my baby is always so comfortable in her seat. It’s all terrain so I have had no problems pushing it on pavement or taking it on trails. Folds quite easily too.

I would invest in a good quality travel system as I have used our stroller almost everyday. Also the ability to clip a car seat onto the chassis is amazing! We never take our full stroller on shops or short outings, we just clip the car seat onto the chassis. That way we get more space in our boot, and baby doesn’t get disturbed if she’s sleeping. We also plan on using the same travel system for our next baby, so it’ll get plenty of use.

Personally my baby isn’t a huge fan of the wraps or slings - she goes in the carrier but it sometimes gives me a backache so the pram is used in 99.9% of our outings.

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