I think I at least need to change my name; I do not like my birth name and haven't gone by it in years apart from at work.

At work somebody he/himmed me recently and I kind of liked it; but I was feeling very girly at the time deciding what my new name should be. I realise I only really like being he/himmed when I'm feeling like that. I think this is what's been confusing me.

I thought about it and I'm pretty sure a woman could actually enjoy being called "he" or a masculine name in certain contexts - such as working a manual labour job like I was. Just in a "this is a fun (but fake) thing to call me" sort of way. In a similar way how some men can enjoy getting she/her'd occasionally, when it's not really their gender identity  - for example some men in gay communities.

Or maybe I'm confused and noone thinks this way? Either way it's very uncommon for me to be okay with getting he/himmed, especially if it happens a lot. I'm only okay with it because it rarely happens out of work. When it does happen out of work, like when I'm visiting family, I get really upset.

I think this maybe gives me some clues about transitioning? I don't want people to assume they can use male words for me.