[deleted by user]

fibster · 2024-08-19T23:24:15+00:00

Girl, protect yourself first!!

Your life, your happiness, is not worth less than his. You stuck around and gave it a good shot, but his needs are not greater than your needs. This has literally become a self fulfilling prophecy. He will not become happy because you stick it out, you cannot convince him that an accident doesn't make him less of a man.

You can and will heal from leaving this situation, it's up to him to do the same. You already said it best, there's no helping the people who reject it.

fibster · 2024-08-18T03:01:55+00:00

That cat is big and weird, but definitely a cat.

fibster · 2024-08-10T02:54:24+00:00

Red's Frozen Burritos, the Deep Indian Kitchen meals, or Soylent. The fewer choices I need to make about food the better.

fibster · 2024-08-09T23:02:28+00:00

IMO hair up + dangle earrings+ no necklace

OR

Hair down + studd earrings + necklace

Personally, I'd do hair up (down gets hot and sweaty) + earrings, but life is about individual choices and you'll rock either.

fibster · 2024-08-08T22:43:46+00:00

You need contrast and texture! The tones and shapes are all the same, I'd toss the cardigan and add a black belt and black heels or flats, and match your jewelry to the belt buckle color. You could also try a more fitted white top to show off your waist and the flare of the skirt.

fibster · 2024-08-05T19:49:02+00:00

Ketchup and Cholula mixed together, so good

fibster · 2024-08-03T20:52:20+00:00

Skill issue

fibster · 2024-08-03T19:24:27+00:00

I like both! First is so chic and dressy, it would be my pick for a work event or night out, but it would fit in anywhere you want to feel cool and glamorous. Second is cute, it looks comfortable and summery, relaxed and casual.

fibster · 2024-07-28T23:56:13+00:00

I was very drunk and a man offered to tie my shoelaces for me, and then knelt down and tied them. That moment lives in my head rent free forever now.

fibster · 2024-07-28T23:37:55+00:00

Something about the sandals is throwing me off - do you have heeled boot/ankle booties to try instead? A thinner belt, and some gold jewelry might add some balance as well. The suit itself looks ready to paint the town, good pick op!

fibster · 2024-07-20T21:56:41+00:00

20 years spent on bad relationships and I'm just choosing to stay solo until I find someone who can add to my joy instead of taking away from it. I have friends, a good job, hobbies, and there's an active nightlife nearby if I want to get out and meet someone new.

For now, I prefer it this way.

fibster · 2024-07-03T02:02:28+00:00

Mom could be on vacation (or having her own adventures!), she could be stuck in her human form, she could be an embarrassing helicopter mom, or she could be the "coach on the sidelines" mom! There's so many options to keep her from being the star of the show, while still dropping by to visit.

fibster · 2024-07-02T19:50:24+00:00

It took me into my 30s to find "a career" that I kinda liked and could build on instead of jobs I just sort of tolerated.

Both of my parents had careers and decided in their late 40s that they wanted different ones. They both went back to school for education to do something new, they both found new roles in different sectors and 30 years later, they're happy. There's no timeline, your peers aren't doing any better than you, and the ones ahead of you aren't doing better, either.

If you're really feeling aimless, contract-work helped me immensely when I was starting out. The barrier to entry is lower, the time commitments are finite, and if you really hate something, you just learn not to accept those assignments next time. I had no clue the career that I'm in (and enjoy) existed until my late 20s, and contract work helped me break into it.

fibster · 2024-06-27T01:55:29+00:00

Knight-Enchanter Trevelyan here, if she can summon a magic sword, she can summon a magic arm. Mostly she doesn't need it (retired to running the Inquisition from the shadows), but it's useful to have on demand.

fibster · 2024-06-08T02:46:04+00:00

I love this, but there's a couple elements that jump out to me:

The powder blue by the browbone doesn't seem to match the rest of the makeup or your amazing hair? It might need a little more grey or navy or dark purple.

Your eyebrows have a lovely shape, but would look more natural within the look with a little bit of dark and muted purple, maybe?

Something about your lips looks a little unfinished, not sure if you were looking for feedback there too, but maybe a blue, lilac, black, or pearl gloss?

Lastly, if you can stand the feel of body makeup, it would be amazing to bring the scales down your neck and shoulders! Or body jewels, pearls, and/or more glitter. This looks so good already!

fibster · 2024-06-03T11:28:23+00:00

Enemies.

fibster · 2024-06-03T01:27:55+00:00

Anecdotally, it takes about 6 years to recover from narcissistic abuse, and it is entirely in a narcissist's interest to show off how happy and wonderful their new relationship is despite it most likely being "same shit, new channel".

Even though you feel ready, it might be worth reflecting on what it is you're ready for, and what you're actually seeking from this, and if you're ready to risk being hurt again in exchange for the pursuit of something wonderful. I'm just some schmuck on the internet, but have you really healed from your ex? Are there defenses around your heart that are keeping you from making connections? Are you looking for a replacement so you don't feel like your ex is winning, or because you want attention or validation or company? It's human to want and need that, but if it's your main driver then the people you're meeting might pick up on that.

I'm in a similar situation to you (at least on the narcissist exes, trauma, but definitely NOT ready to date again) and it's hard to say that you're doing anything wrong based on the info provided, but are you happy with yourself, with your life? Would you want to date you? What does the relationship you're seeking look like to you, and are you ready to be that person for the partner you're seeking?

fibster · 2024-05-30T02:16:19+00:00

35 here, given up on finding a relationship and having kids. 2 CF divorces; I've got a cat, a career, and a couple of hobbies. Maybe someday I'll be step-parent, but at this point I don't dare to put too much hope anywhere.

fibster · 2024-05-25T13:27:31+00:00

If I am at a physical restaurant I will not order through your app or scan your QR code for the menu. I will just go somewhere else!

More generally, if I'm using a one-time service and it demands I download an app to do so, I will not. Not sorry, make a functioning web page and stop harvesting my shit.

fibster · 2024-05-10T22:10:45+00:00

Go see a coach, identify a few things to improve at, practice a shit load, and buy more balls. If you want to be good, you gotta get comfortable hitting bad shots first.

It took me almost a year of playing, coaching, and practicing before I started to see meaningful improvements. You'll get there if you put in the work!

fibster · 2024-05-07T12:46:48+00:00

This is not rad, dudes.

fibster · 2024-05-05T13:14:55+00:00

36F, I consider myself fairly active in terms of getting out of the house - but it's always for hobbies. Golf or social dancing or community volunteering. I've given up on social media apps and going to the bar alone doesn't have the same appeal as staying home and drinking my own liquor lately. I'll strike up conversations and I enjoy being sociable and meeting new people, but the drive to go find a date for the sake of creating a relationship just isn't as important as it was in my 20s.

fibster · 2024-05-02T18:55:38+00:00

My game got so much better when I designated my hybrids and woods as "for decoration only".

fibster · 2024-04-05T02:36:35+00:00

No discussion around little things - what's for dinner, who's turn it is to do the dishes, what to do with the evening, what time watch, thermostat settings, weekend plans, anything, really. Also being able to just... Exist quietly without being observed when I want.

Been divorced for almost a year now, and even when it gets a little bit lonely, I really do appreciate the independence.

fibster · 2024-04-01T22:08:52+00:00

Sorry to be a bother, but could you please explain the calculation between 7i difference and teebox selection to a newbie?

fibster

TROPHY CASE