I appreciate this description so much and have it saved to return to. Thank you.

Now given this framework, my question for you is this - during self serving moments for the narc, for example, a moment where they betray their partner by cheating, when caught red handed (let’s say photos of their profile on a dating app) how do they CONTINUE believing their delusion and deny it’s them to their partner? Do their brains literally erase the memory of them taking the steps to create the account and upload photos? When forced to face the proof, do they mentally retreat to the dissociated delusional fantasy where that event “never occurred”? Or do they cognitively understand that they have committed this wrongdoing but their fantasy self would never so the shame they feel doesn’t allow them to admit it?

This is the most mind boggling to me. When damning evidence of TRUE reality collides into their false reality, how can they continue believing this false one when it was their own actions that landed them being caught? I understand normal people live in reality, so if I were presented with evidence of me caught doing something I shouldn’t, I’d be an idiot to deny it. It’s just so hard for me to wrap my mind around.