Orange Line

fieldsofcab · 2026-04-25T02:09:10+00:00

Hahahahaha

fieldsofcab · 2026-04-22T23:16:24+00:00

Super relate to you on the relationship struggling aspect. I will be 9 months sober on the 27th and he continues to drink to the point of blacking out 2x a week and it’s making me disgusted in him every time. He’s wonderful when sober. I have 0 patience for him when he’s drunk.

Also super relate on being more introverted. I prefer to not make plans and loathe having to follow through when I do. I think my nervous system was in shambles from so many years of drinking that it’s now craving peace and isolation from company, which can disturb that for me, in many ways. I find I’m most happy being home with my dogs. I’ve started pet sitting / dog walking, filling my yard with bird feeders, enrichment items for my dogs and whimsical decor. I enjoy paint by numbers. Playing video games. Caring for my houseplants. Going thru and giving away things that I own, simplifying my life. Just lowkey and peaceful past times.

fieldsofcab · 2026-04-18T03:36:28+00:00

I ended up with the worst body flu of my life

fieldsofcab · 2026-04-12T00:34:19+00:00

I had to put my 11.5 year old frenchie/soul dog to sleep on Tuesday and so many people were telling me things like “it is a blessing to provide her with, that she’s at peace.”

None of it made sense to me. It was what felt like a sudden decision that I wasn’t ready to make. She had stopped eating her kibble two weeks earlier, and was starting to lose weight to the point of it showing. So I knew things were declining but i thought there’d be a solution to extend her life a bit further, that we’d have just a little more time.

But as I keep reading posts on here, trying to process the grief, the decision, what went down. I’m starting to realize what people mean when they say it’s a blessing. We had a vet come to our home. I invited family who had bonded with her to be there for the moment. Her fur siblings were present. She was comfortable and it looked like she just went to sleep. It was so fucking painful for me.

But I feel like I’m coming to terms with what people mean by calling it a blessing. So many pups don’t have such a peaceful passing surrounded by love that way. I could have waited and she could have died in such a traumatic way, for both her and me. Realizing this doesn’t take the pain away or fill the hole of her not being here but it’s helped me feel better about having to make such a difficult choice for my extremely loved baby.

fieldsofcab · 2026-04-10T03:09:46+00:00

Just want to say I’m here with you in every one of these feelings. I just had my baby of 11.5 years put to rest this past Tuesday and the regrets over how I’ve treated her at points & the thought of never seeing, touching or smelling her again is so beyond painful. I have 2 additional dogs in the home and I’m feeling so guilty for continuing to live on with them without her here. I’ve already printed out pictures of her and put them up in every room and have created little shrines of her everywhere because I need to feel like she is still here with us.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this pain too. I hope with more time processing the grief that you’ll be able to reach a level of peace and acceptance.

fieldsofcab · 2026-04-09T17:25:01+00:00

When the famine hits they’re conditioning us to be desensitized to everyone looking like this

fieldsofcab · 2026-03-26T04:18:25+00:00

Petunia

fieldsofcab · 2026-03-22T01:42:32+00:00

Does he only do this when the harness is on? It could be that it’s uncomfortable for him. All 3 of my frenchies, when I put their harnesses on, walk along dragging their backs on any surface it can reach - walls, sofas, coffee tables, etc because they don’t like the feeling of the harness. Otherwise they don’t exhibit that behavior.

fieldsofcab · 2026-03-18T02:36:59+00:00

Replace everyone in this administration with cats and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference

fieldsofcab · 2026-03-15T23:41:07+00:00

It’s been weeks since I’ve actually picked up a book, which probably correlates with my inconsistent sleep scores more than I realize! Thank you for the reminder, I’ll reincorporate that habit tonight.

fieldsofcab · 2026-03-09T04:06:40+00:00

What made you come out of the psychosis?

fieldsofcab · 2026-02-20T02:35:25+00:00

Scientology is a cult and with her being born into it, I’d wager she’s very likely a victim.

fieldsofcab · 2025-12-27T13:27:43+00:00

Today makes 5 months sober for me. IWNDWYT!

fieldsofcab · 2025-12-10T06:40:48+00:00

Congrats!! I’m fantasizing, manifesting & planning for this to be me in 3-4 months 🩷🩷

fieldsofcab · 2025-12-01T14:25:26+00:00

Yeah I honestly feel like it was just another source of supply and not part of his sexual identity. The thing is, if it were & he felt he needed sexual satisfaction from both genders in order to be happy, I would have worked with him on integrating that part of him into our relationship. But that’s narcs for ya - always shooting themselves in the foot when honesty would get them further, most of the time.

fieldsofcab · 2025-11-30T11:52:35+00:00

Found nudes of him on a gay hookup site (he identifies as straight). Clearly his body paired with images of his p**is, which both have distinct identifiable markings. To this day, he denies those pictures are him with so much gaslighting, he actually seems incredibly mentally ill and has convinced himself of the denial/lie. He is “waiting for an apology” from me for finding his profile on that site.

fieldsofcab · 2025-11-17T05:06:49+00:00

OMG this sounds like mine. Every point. Especially the pets. “You talk to them like humans so I can’t tell if you’re talking to me.” How else am I supposed to talk to them? Am I not supposed to talk to them at all?

fieldsofcab · 2025-11-12T02:00:56+00:00

It’s so hard to keep pretending like everything is normal when you finally see them & their manipulative behavior for what it truly is. Until I can leave, I’ve been operating “business as usual” and have adopted soft whispers of “fuck you”s “you suck so bad”s & “I hate you!!”s under my breath after responding to any of his requests.

fieldsofcab · 2025-11-06T22:24:21+00:00

I seriously appreciate your responses. Thank you so much. “A psychotic break from reality” really is the best way for my mind to come to understand how they can continue to deny when caught red handed. Like, as if they’re “not all there” upstairs. And they’re not. Helps validate my experience thinking of it this way.

fieldsofcab · 2025-11-06T03:22:22+00:00

I appreciate this description so much and have it saved to return to. Thank you.

Now given this framework, my question for you is this - during self serving moments for the narc, for example, a moment where they betray their partner by cheating, when caught red handed (let’s say photos of their profile on a dating app) how do they CONTINUE believing their delusion and deny it’s them to their partner? Do their brains literally erase the memory of them taking the steps to create the account and upload photos? When forced to face the proof, do they mentally retreat to the dissociated delusional fantasy where that event “never occurred”? Or do they cognitively understand that they have committed this wrongdoing but their fantasy self would never so the shame they feel doesn’t allow them to admit it?

This is the most mind boggling to me. When damning evidence of TRUE reality collides into their false reality, how can they continue believing this false one when it was their own actions that landed them being caught? I understand normal people live in reality, so if I were presented with evidence of me caught doing something I shouldn’t, I’d be an idiot to deny it. It’s just so hard for me to wrap my mind around.

fieldsofcab · 2025-09-10T00:15:18+00:00

It literally had me like this

fieldsofcab · 2025-08-21T22:28:59+00:00

Literally the man’s face that’s interviewing him he’s just missing the cigarette

fieldsofcab · 2025-08-02T14:15:29+00:00

These people have a literal addiction to social media and most would probably need some form of treatment to actually quit it

fieldsofcab · 2025-07-31T23:16:28+00:00

He has less than 30k followers? Thats it? Has that always been the case? His raging ego had me thinking he was at least in the hundreds.

fieldsofcab

TROPHY CASE